Dominance refers to having authority over something, and when it comes to relationships, has long been misinterpreted as one partner having sole control over the other.

Dominance gives each partner the feeling of having some leverage in the relationship and ensures that both partners get what they want and need.

Healthy vs. Toxic Dominance

The ability of both partners to assert dominance is the first thing that needs to be tackled when trying to maintain healthy dominance in a relationship. If one partner remains submissive to the other, the resulting relationship is one where one partner will always get what they want.

When dominance becomes toxic, it can result in an abusive situation in which one person continually misses out on issues that matter to them, and never feels valued or cherished.

Why is Dominance Important in Relationships?

Both partners must be able to stand up for themselves and be able to effectively communicate their desires and needs in order to have a healthy relationship. Read on to find out why.

• It helps you vocalize your wants. If each partner embraces a supportive and compassionate dominant role in the relationship, they will both benefit enough from the relationship’s strength and encouragement as well as the achievement of ambitions together.

• It helps you understand one another. Once you know exactly how dominant your partner is and where they’d like you to take charge, the relationship will flow more smoothly. For example, maybe your partner likes to decide where to eat while you choose the movie.

• It helps you take over. Knowing each partner’s dominant roles in a relationship is important, but knowing when to switch them is even better.

15 Ways to Become a More Dominant Partner in Your Relationship

1. Make the Plans

One thing that every woman expects her romantic partner to do for her is to make plans for the two of them, but this is a sign of being the submissive partner. If you want to be more dominant in the relationship, make the plans yourself.

2. Be the One Behind the Steering Wheel

The person behind the steering is quite literally guiding the way to the destination. If you’re the one behind the wheel, it automatically puts you in a more authoritative position – because you decide how the relationship will turn out.

3. Make the Major Decisions

This one is obvious; if you want to be the more dominant partner, you have to get to the top of the decision-making hierarchy.

This means that you decide everything—from a place to eat, to when you’ll buy your house.

4. Know Your Stuff

One reason why women typically play the submissive role in relationships is that they are automatically made to believe they know less than their male partners about simple tasks, such as changing light bulbs or car tires. A major step to becoming more dominant is to learn how to do these things yourself.

5. Earn the Big Bucks

Money is power, and one clear way of being more dominant is to earn the big bucks. When you earn as much or more than your partner, he automatically sees you as an equal.

With this financial strength, comes dominance. Use it well.

6. Initiate Intimacy

Good relationships develop on romantic dates, and great relationships develop in bed. Don’t depend on your partner to initiate romance. Take charge, tell him what you like or dislike, and let the entire act become about pleasing you.

7. Be a Little Louder

Meek and submissive women are usually soft-spoken and, as a result, are neglected by their more dominant partners.

Be louder and more vocal about your feelings, especially if they’re negative. If you don’t want to watch a sci-fi movie, tell him.

8. Use Authoritative Language

Saying “sorry” too much is a classic sign of a submissive partner. Apologizing excessively makes your partner think that you’re less than them. Stop apologizing so much.

Instead of saying “Please put the dishes away”, say “It’s your turn to put the dishes away”.

9. Flirt a Little

Many dominant men casually flirt with other women and don’t apologize for it. If you want to be the more dominant female in your relationship, a little casual flirting won’t hurt.

In fact, it’ll make your man realize just how attractive you are – so, he’ll value you more.

10. Make Him Earn Your Love

The heart wants what it can’t get. If you’re always available to him, he won’t value you. Try to make him work – take some time before you text him back, and don’t pick his call up on the first ring.

11. Be More Dominant in Bed

Decide the time, position, and duration. Communicate to him what you want. Only give him what he wants on special occasions. When you hold the reins in bed, you hold the reins in life.

12. Listen to Him, Don’t Obey Him

If you want to be more dominant, you have to cultivate the power to make your own decisions. Are you conflicted between two choices, and he’s pushing you to go with one of them? Choose the other one. Let him know that while you do respect his opinion, the final decision is all yours.

13. Remind Him of His Boundaries

You’ve heard of alpha males, but get ready for alpha females. When you’re in a long-term relationship, set boundaries – and make sure he knows to follow them.

14. Make It a Point to Be Independent

Co-dependency is the number one reason why women feel more submissive in their relationships. When you depend on your partner to make all the decisions for you, how will they ever see you as a free individual?

Try to do things yourself so that they know you’re a person without them too.

15. Have a Large Social Circle

When your dominant partner feels like they’re the only person you go to meet your emotional needs, they start to feel a sense of power over you – and they often feel they can abuse it.

Try to have a large circle of friends who love and care for you. When your emotional needs are being met by other people as well, it’ll help you be more in control of your relationship.

Who Is a Submissive Man?

While the stereotypical man likes to be in charge, there are quite a few men who don’t feel this way. These men prefer that their female partners take charge for the most part.

A submissive man likes when his partner makes the decisions and lets him tag along for the ride. These men are also less vocal about their romantic feelings.

Here are some signs that a man is submissive:

1. He’s Different

When a man is not interested in being the “master”, the roles are reversed. You no longer have to fight for a place at the table; he’s already saved a seat for you.

So, remember, if you’re lucky enough to find a submissive man, don’t play games – he’s ready when you are.

2. He’s an Attentive Listener

Most men love to talk – but mostly about themselves. They’d go on a date and dominate the conversation without ever wondering what the other person might think.

Submissive men are more than able to satisfy your partnership needs. They’ll frequently go out of their way to please you by listening.

3. He’s Shy

One clear indicator that you have a submissive man is that he has a small social circle. He finds himself clueless in larger social gatherings.

4. He Likes It When You Take Charge  

Sensitive men have a difficult time making choices. They are afraid of making the wrong decision, no matter how large or small it is, so being a reliable decision-maker will be crucial.

You can double-check if they’re pleased with the way you run things, but they’ll usually accept whatever brings you joy. Always ask them for their opinion first.

5. He May Have a Female Love Language

The submissive man likes to cook and clean, likes to bake you cupcakes, and takes a vested interest in shopping. He wants to listen to how your day went before he tells you about his own.

While this may be different, it is not necessarily bad.

How to Date More Submissive Men?

Take Charge

A sensitive man has high expectations. So, most of the time you’ll be the one making the plans. and doing the more adventurous stuff.  

Be realistic with yourself: if this is something you want to do, then do it. If you don’t, dating a docile man may not be the best choice for you.

Make Room for Their Feelings

For a man, being accessible and transparent can be difficult. Always hear them out and assure them that they can come to you when they need someone to turn to.

Treat Him as an Equal

Being dominant does not mean that you don’t love your man and treat him well. He’s still a person with feelings, who needs to be treated fairly in your relationship.

Early on in your relationship, you can discuss their restrictions or limits so that you never step beyond them.

Be a Good Listener

He may be prone to taking things personally. Pay attention to his reactions to see if he’s easily wounded. When feeling hurt, many men try to avoid discussing the reason behind their distress.

One important thing you’ll need to do is to listen closely to their emotions and needs; that’s the only way you’ll understand them.

Communicate Well

A sensitive guy will most definitely lower his guard around you, so its good to do the same. Even if you don’t tell him, a sensitive guy will sense when something is bothering you. Being honest and open with him will show him that you trust him and feel comfortable around him.

Guide Him in Bed

There is a great chance that your submissive partner is also pretty low-key in bed. If that’s the case, you get to decide what to do in bed.

You can become the main player and can decide what position and level of intimacy works for you. However, try to accommodate him as well.

The Bottom Line

Deciding to be a more dominant force in your relationship is a great decision for strong-headed, fierce women who don’t take no for an answer. While your male partner may still wear the pants in the relationship, you can find a pair of jeans that can fit you too.