Being with someone in a relationship who’s always angry at one thing or the other can be tough. Over time you’ve most likely become more cautious around your partner. You care for them and want them to be happy, but you never seem to get it right.
They seem all right for a couple of days. Then something happens, and they become mad once more.
All you want is peace and stability, but when you live with someone who always seems to be angry about something, it may seem like you’re powerless to improve things between the two of you.
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How to Deal with an Always Angry Boyfriend
Did you ignore your boyfriend’s calls when you were out with your friends?
Did you keep bringing up an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend?
Did you forget your anniversary?
Did you overlook the things he enjoys doing?
These are just a few of the reasons why your boyfriend might be upset with you. But if you don’t know why he’s upset, how could you make amends?
Here are some ideas that will make your boyfriend smile again whenever he is mad at you.
1. Apologize, and mean it.
If you’re the one who made a mistake, put your pride aside and apologize to him – and make sure that the apology is sincere so that he’ll see that you realized your mistake and understand why he’s upset.
Keep in mind that he’s mad for a reason. He might be angry because you neglected to take care of things that are extremely important to him.
2. Take a break.
If your relationship has been deteriorating for some time, it might be time for the two of you to spend some time apart. This allows you to focus and reconnect with what really matters and will also help you figure out if you’re even meant to be together in the first place.
You may find that you’re better off as friends.
3. Keep Yourself Occupied Till The Storm Passes
When your boyfriend is steaming and scathing, it’s best to leave that burning coal all by himself while he cools down.
There will always be occasions when you need to give him space, whether you like it or not. It’s a common occurrence in any relationship. Make sure you keep your mind and body occupied throughout this period by doing things like joining a gym or taking a spin class.
4. Hug him tightly.
If you’re always the more romantically restrained partner, a great way to convince your boyfriend not to be mad at you anymore is by showing lots of physical affection. Surprise him by hugging him.
When you give your boyfriend a warm hug or a kiss, he might just be surprised that you took the initiative – and his anger would wash away.
5. Explain Your Point Of View
When you’re in a relationship, you’ll always have disagreements. These conflicts are often the product of misunderstandings. Make sure your boyfriend understands your perspective on the issue, particularly if you think he’s upset about something that isn’t real.
6. Don’t share relationship problems with your friends.
Although you might think it’s appropriate to tell your buddies all that’s going on, your boyfriend most likely wishes you wouldn’t share details with anyone. If each fight you have blows up the friends’ group chat, it’s time to own up to the fact that some of the faults might be your fault.
If you’re unsure about what to do, speak to a trusted friend – but don’t use it as an excuse to criticize your boyfriend falsely.
7. Give him a relaxing massage.
Who would say no to a massage from their favorite person?
Even if he’s mad at you right now, any kind gesture from you would be appreciated. Why not give him a stress-relieving massage that he probably needs?
He may forget he’s mad at you because you went out of your way to show how much you want to make amends.
8. Make an extra effort to be friendly.
If a back rub isn’t his thing, there are plenty of other ways to make him happy when he’s mad at you. Ask him how you can help.
When speaking to him, keep your voice low. Make him a cup of coffee or grab him a cold beer. Be extra polite, so he has no choice but to smile and forget about his anger.
9. Prepare a meal for him.
You might have heard the saying “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” – and it’s still valid. Why not prepare his favorite dish? You might also cook something you haven’t cooked before.
When he sees the delectable dish you’ve prepared for him, he might forget about his anger. Even if it doesn’t taste as good as it looks, he’ll probably laugh or smile because he knows you tried your hardest just to make him happy.
10. Make a few jokes.
If you believe that women are the only ones who enjoy a sense of humor, you’re mistaken. Men would love to see women in a more lighthearted light.
Your boyfriend will always laugh and notice how charming you are, no matter how corny your jokes. So, even though he’s mad at you right now, don’t be afraid to make him laugh.
11. Don’t forget to compliment him.
Women aren’t the only ones who want compliments from their partners.
When he’s at his angriest, all you have to do is tell him how sweet and adorable he is. Take note of how fine his hairstyle looks on him. Take note of how well he wears his rugged look. He’ll appreciate it.
12. Treat him to something he’s been requesting for a while.
Has he been begging you to join him in playing a video game? Has he invited you to join him at the gym? Has he really tried to take you to a basketball or baseball game so you could enjoy it together?
Offer to do these things with him, and see how his face lights up.
13. Plan little surprises for him.
Although it is customary for girls to be serenaded and surprised by their boyfriends, you can become the best girlfriend in the world by changing that.
It’s time to show your boyfriend how much you appreciate all the gifts he has given you. Leaving small notes expressing your affection for him s a great place to start.
14. Do something nice for him.
Take him to a shop or restaurant that he enjoys. Get him a copy of his favorite comic book. The small things he enjoys will make him feel loved, and he’ll have no excuse to be angry with you.
15. Show him that beautiful smile he fell in love with.
Giving him your sweetest smile can sometimes be all it takes to calm him down. Rather than fueling his anger, look him in the eyes and simply smile.
Show him the smile you don’t offer to just anybody. He may not even be aware when he’s already smiling back at you.
16. Make it up to him in bed.
Let’s be honest. Most, if not all, men wish they could be more affectionate with their girlfriends. In a relationship, physical contact is crucial.
It’s all part of maintaining the relationship’s heat. You know your boyfriend better than anyone else because you know what works best for him – and you have a knack for making him happy.
17. Don’t scream back.
If one of you is angry, it is counterproductive for the other to lose their temper too.
When your boyfriend is angry, keep your cool. Don’t scream back, don’t be snappy with him, and don’t create a war out of a small skirmish. Remember, you can’t take back what you’ve said.
18. Keep a moderated tone.
When your boyfriend tells you why he’s mad, don’t be rude or dismissive. That’ll only exacerbate the situation. Instead, wait until he’s cooled down and is able to listen before approaching him.
Be polite and let him know you understand and care. Make sure he knows that you’re ready to talk whenever he is.
19. Control your emotions.
Maintain a level of fairness and politeness with him. The last thing you want to say or do is something you’ll come to regret later.
You may even be correct. You have the freedom to express your feelings, but you don’t have to win every debate – and you definitely don’t have to act like a kid and storm out the door; there’s no excuse for that.
20. Empathy is important.
Demonstrate that you care for his feelings by taking the time to learn about them.
Don’t laugh at him or forget his needs if he’s upset over something you said or did. Instead, let him know you care for him and apologize for anything wrong you may have done.
21. Understand his point of view.
Listen to what he has to say, rather than just hearing it.
That means you don’t interrupt your boyfriend to talk about what you want. Instead, listen to what he says and, provide valuable input when he’s done.
22. Don’t aggravate the situation.
Escalating the situation is a simple way to make it worse. You won’t keep your relationship alive if you always try to be one step ahead of your partner.
It is a two-person relationship, so there should be equal treatment for both of you. Treat him the same way you would like to be treated yourself.
23. Be direct and ask him what he needs.
Directness is usually the simplest way to address a problem.
Let him know you’re sorry and that you’ve made a mistake, but that you’d like to know if there’s something you can do at the moment to repair your relationship. His response might surprise you. He might know just the thing you should do to make amends, and it might not be sexual.
24. Show him how much you love and care for him.
You can apologize by doing something nice like baking him cookies, or wait until he’s able to speak to you about what happened. Keep in mind that everyone is different and deals with conflict in their own way.
Figure out what works for you and your man. Whether you are correct or incorrect, tell him you love him and care deeply for him.
25. Consider going to a therapist.
When you’re arguing with your partner every single day or at least once a week, there might be a bigger problem at hand – and couples therapy is always a good idea.
Ask your partner if he’d be willing to go with you to a professional therapist to work through your problems when the time is right. He may be more comfortable telling a stranger or a third party about what’s going on than he is with you.
The Bottom Line
You should try to work through your problems and figure out what causes him to get so angry. While most simple problems can be fixed using the above tips, it’s important to recognize the signs that it’s time to give up on a relationship that can’t be fixed.
Arguing all the time is not healthy. Be sure to check for any signs of emotional abuse in your relationship, and ask someone for help if you think that it has reached an unhealthy level or could potentially become dangerous.
