Do you know how many boyfriends the average girl has? There’s a good chance that it’s a lot more than you would expect.
Keep reading to explore just how many boyfriends the average girl has – and what society really thinks about the number of partners women have.
Table of Contents
How Many Partners Does the Average Girl Have?
The number of partners someone has will vary from person to person, which is why researchers can’t agree on an exact average. Some studies find a lifetime median of 4 partners, while others have found it as high as 8. In general, the lower end of this range is more common than any higher numbers.
It’s important to note that this applies to adult relationships where sex is on the table. Many of us had a few relationships before our 9th birthday, but do these really count? Not in our books.
How Many Sexual Partners is Considered a Lot?
Is it really possible to quantify how many sexual partners are too many? There’s no universally accepted standard in this regard; everyone has their own opinion on when a number becomes too much.
Personal preferences, cultural backgrounds, religions, and different experiences of people will play a role in what they believe. Some may think 5 sexual partners is a lot, whereas others may think 5 is very low.
A survey of 2,000 adults revealed that men and women believe the ideal number of sexual partners is 7. Interestingly, The National Bureau of Economic Research recently published a report that showed having 1 partner every 12 months will make you the happiest.
However, a recent study found that couples who only sleep with their spouse are more likely to be satisfied in a marriage than those with a higher number.
What Counts as a Relationship?
Many people have varying definitions when it comes down to talking about relationships. You could be “friends-with-benefits” with someone for 6 months but then have a relationship with someone after a few weeks. No two situations are the same.
Is it Bad to Have Many Relationships?
While some believe you should have as few ex-partners as possible, others believe that it’s best to have many relationships before you can find “the one”.
The more people you date, the better you’ll know what you want from a relationship. Breakups also teach us what we don’t want from future partners, which allows us to grow and be in a better position to find the right person for you.
There’s nothing wrong with dating as many people as you’d like to date! It’s a great way for us girls and boys to learn who we are, what our deal breakers are in relationships, and how much of an emotional connection we need from the person we’re with.
Is it Bad to Not Have Had Any Relationships?
If you’ve always been single, you may feel like you’re the only person in the world who has never had a relationship before – but this isn’t the case at all.
There are so many different ways to meet your significant other, and there’s no perfect time in life when it should happen. Some people date a lot before finding someone worth settling down with, some meet “the one” in high school, and others don’t meet their special someone until their late 30s or early 40s.
With that being said, we do recommend getting a good idea of what you want from a partner. With a small dating history, it can be hard to know what you do and don’t want. You simply won’t have the same experiences as someone who has had a few break-ups.
Take things slow with the next guy you meet. While it’s amazing to get caught up in the whirlwind of love, moving too quickly in your first relationship may be asking for trouble.
Should We Judge Women Who Sleep With “Many” Men?
A lot of people are curious to know the number of men an average woman has slept with and what counts as a high number. The most common answer is 6-8 partners, but it’s not uncommon for some girls to have had 50 or more lovers!
But does it really matter?
Our instinct to judge women who sleep with a lot of men has been rooted in sexism for centuries. These days, this type of judgment is often linked back to slut-shaming and the double standard that exists between the sexes when it comes to sexual promiscuity.
Men are praised for having sex with a lot of people, whereas women are criticized if they do the same. Psychologists refer to this as the “sexual double standard”.
But it’s not just some men who view promiscuity as a negative thing. Studies have found that many women see promiscuous women as colder, emotionally unstable, and incompetent – which is obviously not true. Many women are confident, mature, and kind while enjoying plenty of sexual partners.
It’s important to take a step back and realize that judging women based on their sexual history is unfair- not just for the woman, but also for men.
Is it Appropriate to Ask a Woman How Many Boyfriends She’s Had?
It’s fine to ask this question if the motive is pure. Seeing someone as they are and making an effort to understand them is the greatest example of love possible.
Getting to know your partners means talking about everything- and that includes past relationships (both yours and theirs). You can’t fall for someone you don’t understand!
However, not all women think this way. You should consider how open a woman is before asking her how many boyfriends she’s had in the past. There’s a high chance that she’ll feel judged – especially if you ask on the first date!
Should Couples Tell Each Other Their Numbers of Sexual Partners?
One might think people should be more open about their experiences with sex, but instead, you get a lot of insecurities and shame – especially when it comes to talking to your partner about these things.
The old saying “a problem shared is a problem halved” holds in relationships. When you have something on your mind, communicating with your partner and discussing the issue will make things easier for both of you.
Interestingly, people lie about how many partners they’ve had sex with. Men have been shown to exaggerate their number – while women tend to downplay theirs. While men may like to show off to their friends, they tend to not want to reveal just how many women they’ve slept with when talking to their partner.
In reality, how many partners someone has slept with doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change who a person is. The only thing that should be demanded is safety – and truth when it comes to STDs and STIs.
What Age Do People Meet “The One”?
Research says that women typically meet their future spouses between the ages of 22-27 years old. Again, this varies depending on race, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, where they live geographically, religion, and more.
For men, the search for their soulmate can be an arduous journey. They’re more likely to find them at 28 years old.
These days, however, age is truly just a number! You can meet “The One” at any time.
How Soon Should You Become His Girlfriend?
Relationship psychologist and data analyst Claire Stott found that 2 months is the optimal amount of time for the average couple to date before starting an official romantic partnership. You’ll know each other well enough to judge fairly, and the spark will still be alive!
By getting yourself out there and dating, it can provide insight on what type of person attracts you or the qualities that are important in your partner. You might also try going online with sites like OkCupid (which has an app) – so it’s easy to find people who share similar interests and may live nearby!
The Bottom Line
There’s no true consensus on what the average amount of boyfriends should be.
Some people believe that having more than 20 boyfriends means that you’re promiscuous, while others might view this as an accomplishment and not see it negatively at all.
Although things are progressing, we’re still a long way from living in an accepting and sex-positive society. It’s still a reality that women are shamed for their choices in bed. Society, as it stands today, continues to shame and penalize them – when they should have the right to make decisions about sex without fear of judgment or retribution.
At the end of the day, it comes down to your personal choice. You shouldn’t really care what the average amount of boyfriends a girl has. There are no “should” or “must” when it comes to deciding how many times you want to be in and out of love. It’s all about what works for your heart – so why not take a chance on loving somebody?
Some people fall into the trap of settling down right away because they’re afraid that there may never be another person who will come along with whom they feel such chemistry. However, this simply isn’t true! You should do whatever makes sense for you – even if that means spending time alone – as long as you’re following your own personal needs.
