Relationships can be complex, which is why some people seek alternative relationships or decide not to get involved in committed relationships at all. Even if you’re not interested in being involved in a committed relationship, you are likely to still desire companionship and even intimacy and sex from time to time.
What are your alternatives? One alternative is to have a relationship purely based on sex, with no strings attached. This is actually quite popular for some people. Many people refer to this type of relationship as “friends with benefits”; you’re just friends, but you have the benefit of sex. But you might ask yourself, can you have a relationship just for fun?
Some people are able to have a relationship just for fun. This is especially true if both parties are aware that the relationship isn’t going anywhere because it is merely based on sex. Many people who are recovering from broken hearts opt to enter into sex-only relationships, which can sometimes help them to heal from the loss of the serious relationship they were in.
Becoming involved in a relationship just for fun isn’t always as easy as it appears, however. Feelings for the other person can develop unexpectedly, which can complicate the relationship. It’s not easy for everyone to engage in sexual intercourse with another without developing feelings for that person.
Obviously, the physical attraction is there in the beginning, so in some cases, developing stronger feelings for a sexual partner, and even falling in love with them, is not uncommon.
Table of Contents
What are the pros and cons of seeing someone just for sex?
There are both pros and cons to becoming involved in a “friends with benefits” relationship. Here is a list of both, so you can decide if dating someone just for fun is for you:
- You get to have some (hopefully) amazing sex while still enjoying the single lifestyle. You don’t have to worry about answering to someone else and you can come and go as you please.
- You will feel more comfortable being yourself around your sex buddy because you’re not trying to impress him or her. All you want to do is enjoy sex together, so you’re more likely to feel comfortable experimenting with some sexual positions and fantasies that you might not feel comfortable doing in a committed relationship.
- You have more convenience and more time when you’re in a “friends with benefits” relationship because the two of you aren’t spending all your spare time together. This enables you to spend the majority of your free time participating in other enjoyable activities and hanging out with friends. If you’re in need of sex on a Friday night, all you have to do is call up your sex buddy and get it on. There’s no dinner date or other expectations.
- You or your sex buddy might develop feelings and want more than a sexual relationship. This could become pretty complicated, especially if the other party doesn’t feel the same way.
- If your sex buddy was previously your best friend or a very close friend, entering into a sexual relationship could permanently change the dynamics of your relationship, and ruin your friendship in the end. Before choosing a good friend as a sex buddy, think about all possible consequences ahead of time.
Can your relationship change from “just for fun” to a committed relationship?
Many committed, loving relationships begin as “just for fun” relationships. Sometimes, it can be healthy for a relationship to start out with no strings attached because it allows the couple to get to know each other without experiencing that awkward stage. They can also learn to trust one another before committing.
If you find yourself falling in love with your sex buddy and you’re not sure they feel the same way, it could make things pretty awkward, especially if you’re unable to determine how your sex buddy feels.
Some couples choose to start out as sex buddies with the option of becoming romantic partners in the future. Many will enjoy having sex together and seeing where things go. It’s a “safe” way to get to know a person without the complications of a commitment upfront.
Some people get too serious, too soon, which can quickly lead to disaster. A sex-only relationship enables two people to get to know each other while having sex together, and they can take their time deciding whether they would like to become a traditional couple in the future.
How can you tell if your sex buddy has feelings for you?
If you’ve been in a sex-only relationship for a while and you suspect that he or she has fallen in love with you, how can you tell? Asking them flat-out could be quite uncomfortable, so you might have to look for certain signs.
First of all, if your sex buddy has fallen for you, he or she might want to kiss more during sex, and might even become affectionate outside of sex. He or she might spend the night with you rather than leave shortly after sex. They might also buy you gifts, ask to meet your friends and family or even ask you out on dates to the movies or dinner.
Your sex buddy might also engage in some in-depth conversations and ask you questions about your life that he or she never seemed interested in before. They might seem interested in getting to know you more deeply.
If you’re fairly certain that they have feelings for you, you may want to ask yourself how you feel about those feelings. Do you have feelings for them too?
Are you ready to change the dynamic of your relationship by becoming an official couple, rather than remaining no-strings-attached friends with benefits?
It can be pretty difficult to end your sex-only relationship – where your only concern is which position to do next – and start a committed one with this person.
If you two realize that you love each other, you’ll have to sit down and have a very serious discussion so you can decide where you two stand and where you’d like your relationship to go.
How do you find a sex buddy?
If you’re certain you can handle the emotional ramifications of becoming involved in a “friends with benefits” relationship, then there are many ways to find one. Many dating apps enable you to find partners who are looking for the same type of arrangement.
You might even make a proposal to someone you already know and feel comfortable with. This person could be a friend, roommate, or someone you know through a mutual friend. Some other ways to find a sex buddy are by visiting college campuses, bookstores, the mall, coffee houses, and even nightclubs or bars and meeting someone there.
Regardless of where you meet your sex buddy, before you begin a physical relationship, be sure you’re honest about your expectations upfront. Not everyone is willing to have sex with someone without the expectation of a relationship, so you need to be prepared that your request will be rejected. However, there are many other single individuals who desire the same type of relationship, so as long as you keep looking, you will eventually find what you’re looking for.
How do you prevent your emotions from interfering with a sex-only friendship?
If you know that you’re the type of person who becomes emotionally involved easily, then you may want to proceed with caution when it comes to a sex-only relationship. Sex is a very intimate act that two people share, and for some people, it can be difficult to separate sex from love.
If you find yourself thinking about your sex buddy when you’re not together, and calling or texting just to chat, then you may need to reduce the frequency in which you’re hooking up. If you continue to develop feelings for your sex buddy, you may want to end the relationship, especially if you’re sure your feelings aren’t reciprocated.
Is having a sex buddy weird?
Everyone is different, and not everyone desires a standard relationship. Just about everyone desires sex and companionship, but not everyone wants the hassle of being in a traditional relationship. So, no, having a sex buddy isn’t weird for everyone.
There are certainly people who feel that having a sex buddy is weird and simply not acceptable, but as long as two consenting adults get together for sex only, with no strings attached, then that is their right and they’re entitled to have any type of relationship they desire.
If you want to be in a sex-only relationship but you want to keep it a secret from your friends and family because you know they’ll judge you, then don’t worry, it should be easy to hide.
How do you end a relationship with a sex buddy?
If you are tired of hooking up with your sex buddy, and you’re ready to start dating in order to find your special someone, then you need to let your sex buddy know that your feelings have changed.
You should be prepared for the fact that he or she may object for one reason or another. He or she may want to continue the relationship because they’re satisfied with the arrangements and they’re not ready to end things. You may also discover that your sex buddy either wants to remain friends or become more than friends.
Either way, you need to discuss how you feel and explain why you want to end the relationship. Be sure to explain that they did nothing wrong, but you simply want to start dating and possibly find your soul mate. When you end a “friends with benefits” relationship, it can feel like ending a traditional relationship, but if it’s what you want and you’re absolutely sure, then you should end it.
As you can see, it can be very possible to have a relationship just for fun, especially if you’re young and haven’t decided what you want out of life yet. For many people, a sex-only relationship can be difficult because there is always the possibility of falling for your sex buddy, which could certainly complicate things.
However, some sex-only relationships can be a positive way to get to know each other before becoming involved in a traditional, loving relationship. Everyone is different, and every sex-only relationship will have a different outcome.