If you keep ending up dating the wrong guy, over and over again, then this article is for you.
There are reasons why you’re attracted to a specific type of man, and a lot of it boils down to your own personality, character, fears, desires, expectations, and beliefs.
You attract the love you think you deserve.
It can be a good little exercise to review your list of ex-boyfriends and try finding a pattern. It can help set you on the right track to finding Mr. Right.
Here are the 9 different types of men – and what dating them actually says about you.
Table of Contents
1. Mr. Narcissist
We all know narcissists; they’re common among both men and women. But while you might be okay with a friend exhibiting some of those traits, the man you love could be too much to handle.
To spot a narcissist early on, he’ll likely be some or all of these:
- Charming
- Charismatic
- Successful
- Handsome
- Well-spoken
He seems to cast a spell on everyone, wherever he goes – but once hooked, you’ll have to face his true colors:
- Low self-confidence
- Criticism
- Self-centredness
He wants to always be right, and always be the center of attention – and it begins to take its toll on you.
What does dating him say about you?
If you’re attracted to a narcissist, chances are you exhibit some of those traits too – and in reality, you dislike yourself immensely. The best way to heal a narcissist is with an open and honest conversation, time, and courage.
2. Mr. Emotionally Unavailable
This man just won’t show up for you the way other men do. Instead, he’s always full of excuses as to why he’s not quite ready to commit yet. He likes to talk about the past and compare situations or people as if to justify his commitment issues.
He might tell you he likes you – but he equally warns you that he isn’t looking for anything serious. If you try to talk to him about it, he pretends there’s nothing to talk about. He’s the type of guy who Keeps You Around Without a Relationship.
Emotionally unavailable men aren’t easy to date or to love. You might spend months or even years with someone who just keeps you at an arm’s length and doesn’t seem to commit to you.
What does dating him say about you?
You have low self-esteem and don’t feel deserving of true love. You pick a guy who’s difficult because you know it won’t work out, and then you can blame him instead of yourself.
This feeling of unworthiness probably started in your childhood or teenage years when a significant person in your life failed to show up. Children of divorced parents can often seek emotionally unavailable partners because it’s easier to anticipate the abandonment – and therefore choose it, rather than waiting for it to “inevitably” come out of nowhere.
In order to start going for a different type of guy, you need to confront yourself and forgive the person who failed you. It’ll take some healing but it will be worth it.
3. Mr. Damaged
The guy you feel needs to be fixed seems to be just the right type of guy for you. You see him as a diamond in the rough, and he sees you as a queen. He feels beneath you – like he cheated on the lottery to get you.
You see him as a project and as a challenge to yourself. You love the idea of fixing a man and making him great – and making him someone you’d be proud to date.
What does dating him say about you?
You over-compensate and love the idea of him, not actually him. You believe anything or anyone can be fixed, and always walk into relationships with a toolkit. You put your needs second – and at some point, you’ll regret it.
You can’t do the growing for someone else; it’s their path – and you have to make way for them to figure their life out.
4. Mr. Bully
We’ve all met bullies in our lives, but try dating one and you won’t know what you’ve come up against. The bully treats you badly and you know it. He does any or all of the following:
- He emotionally manipulates you.
- He blames you for everything.
- He uses an intimidating tone with you and others.
- He criticizes you openly, including in public.
- He talks to you like a child.
- He uses derogative language.
- He’s jealous and constantly falsely accuses you of cheating on him.
The list goes on…
What does dating him say about you?
If you’re in love with a bully, you likely struggle to maintain emotional boundaries. You want to be liked so badly that you’d even let a man walk all over you just to please him.
You feel responsible for others and feel like you’re to blame if he’s angry with you. You accept responsibility for other people and carry their burdens.
You need to learn to respect and love yourself enough to spot a bully from the very beginning – and have the courage to walk away before it’s too late.
5. Mr. Commitment-Phobe
Similar to Mr. Emotionally unavailable, this man is just bad news, and you know it. His whole dating history is one short relationship or fling after another. He’s simply not mature enough to stay with a woman for more than a few months and you can tell he won’t make an exception for you.
He’s terrified of commitment!
He acts like he has plenty of time to settle down. He talks down to women, as if they aren’t worthy of his time. His favorite line is “one day”.
What does dating him say about you?
You may be a needy woman in need of rescuing. You thrive on attention from men and you don’t care how little or infrequent it might be given. You think you have time to find someone who will actually commit to you, and just want to enjoy the present moment.
6. Mr. Pushover
Have you dated a guy who seems to agree with everything you say – to the extent that he won’t even choose his own dish at a restaurant and simply tell the waiter “I will have what she’s having”?
It can be so incredibly frustrating to end up with a pushover, but a lot of women do. He’s the guy with low self-esteem, the indecisive one, and the one who doesn’t want to make a fuss, offend, or be the center of attention.
He needs a woman to tell him what to do, and preferably, one who’ll do it all for him. He won’t voice his opinions or desires, so you’re left making all the decisions in the relationship.
What does dating him say about you?
If you’re often attracted to this type of man, you’re probably incredibly controlling and always want to stay on top of things. Controlling women easily attract pushover men, in fact, they may actively seek them. (See: 12 Signs You Are a Control Freak in the Relationship)
The pushover man will be grateful for you to tell him what to do, and he won’t complain. He’ll be your “Yes Man” no matter what you say – but unfortunately, this type of relationship really isn’t sustainable for either party in the long run.
You’ll end up feeling as if you’re mothering your partner, and he won’t do any growing or evolving. You’ll both end up permanently frustrated and disappointed.
7. Mr. Parasite
The Parasite man might not exhibit his traits straight away. In fact, they are often concealed behind a narcissistic nature, a charismatic personality, or a pretty face. Deep down, however, he wants to leech onto you – and that’s just his way of getting what he wants.
He’s TLC’s definition of a “Scrub”. He doesn’t care about you; he only wants whatever help he can get – at your expense. Mr. Parasite can be spotted exhibiting one or more of the following traits:
- He never has money, and is always “just a pay check away” – so you have to lend him money or pay for things.
- He’s always “misunderstood” at work or doesn’t have a solid job, so expects you to pull some strings to get him a “proper” job.
- He doesn’t feel the need to work at all – and lives with his parents… or on your couch.
- He has an opinion on everything and tries to outshine you in front of your friends.
What does dating him say about you?
No offense meant, but you’re an extremely insecure woman – and you probably know it. You have low self-esteem, no matter what your achievements are. The Parasite man needs you a lot more than you need him, and yet you can’t see that he’s ultimately using you.
You want the attention, you’re desperate to have someone, and are petrified of being single – but those aren’t reasons to allow someone to take advantage of you. Here are some useful resources to take advantage of:
- 18 Reasons Why It’s Good to Be Single
- 8 Reasons Why You Are Still Single (There Is Nothing Wrong!)
- 12 Reasons Why You Don’t Have a Boyfriend – and How to Fix It
8. Mr. Taken
Mr. Taken is so attractive that you can’t stop thinking about him – mainly, because he’s not available. You see this as a challenge, which excites you! He’s married, engaged, or in a serious relationship with another woman – and yet, you take it upon yourself to impress him.
Mr. Taken is bad news because he’ll leave you heartbroken and won’t leave his partner. Just think about the toxic relationship between Carrie and Mr. Big in Sex and The City.
Mr. Taken doesn’t owe you anything – but he’ll take the attention, the sex, and the perks of being with you, and leave you hanging in the end.
What does dating him say about you?
Put frankly, you’re a side chick. You need to work on your self-esteem and self-love – and you had better start now. Carrying on with this type of “relationship” is simply bad for you, and you know it.
The truth is, no matter how much you like or even love him, you are ultimately dating a cheater. That’s who he is!
Is that who you want to end up with? He’ll easily do the same thing to you. What kind of loving relationship is that?
9. Mr. Perfect
This is the guy every woman dreams of meeting. He’s “the one”, the knight in the shining armor, the one you can’t wait to introduce to your parents. He just does things the right way. He adores you and treats you with the affection and respect you know you deserve.
Mr. Perfect isn’t necessarily the most good-looking guy in the room. But, he’ll catch your eye and capture your heart – because he’s got that special something you’ve been looking for – and his attraction is undeniable.
Open your eyes and ask yourself: has Mr. Perfect been hiding in plain sight all along? Is it the guy you put in the friend-zone? Your best friend’s brother?
Is he, perhaps, someone you’re used to overlooking?
The Bottom Line
The above type of men (other than Mr. Perfect, of course) are always bad news. While they might form a solid connection with a certain type of woman, you’d do well to stay clear from them and focus your efforts on finding someone who will treat you right and help you grow.
Relationships are hard work, so it’s important to choose well from the get-go. Itll save you a lot of pain and frustration later on.
Keep in mind that Mr. Perfect will be different for every woman. He’s out there – and you deserve to be with someone who treats you like the rare gem you are.
