Today, many couples move in together before tying the knot.
One of the biggest issues with doing so is that you just might not get married at all. After all, you’ve already taken a major step towards living your life together.
Understanding the disadvantages of living together before marriage can help you to determine if cohabitating is the right next step for your relationship.
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Getting married might get put on the backburner
If marriage is a top priority for you, you may want to avoid rushing into the prospect of living with your significant other before you get serious.
Those who choose to move in too fast with their partners have a reduced chance of ever tying the knot, as there is less of a motivation to do so when you have already moved in with one another.
Before moving in with your partner, it is important to consider whether or not marriage is on your mind or whether it is a top priority for you.
If you do not want it to become an issue, speak directly to your partner to see how he feels about marriage.
If he is adamantly against marriage altogether, you may need to move on for other reasons aside from your current living situation.
You may rush into getting too close too fast
Opting to move in with your partner right out of the gate may seem exciting and refreshing, especially if you are new to the dating scene or if you have recently gotten out of a bad relationship.
However, it is important to avoid rushing into any relationship and getting too close too fast.
Getting too close with a partner may sound positive and healthy at first, but it can lead to strains further on down the line, especially if you choose to pursue a long-term relationship with your partner.
Moving in with your partner may cause you to get to know him a bit sooner than you would like.
From sharing towels and walking in during bathroom breaks, it can all get a bit too comfy too fast if you’re unprepared.
You may not be ready to be that vulnerable or intimate with a new partner, and you may need more time to date.
If you want to leave a little mystery to yourself and to your partner, skip the prospect of moving in together immediately after you begin dating.
You may shake up your current relationships for the worse
In some instances, moving in too soon with a new partner may cause your friends and family members to feel concerned or worried.
They may also feel negatively towards your relationship and even towards your partner, depending on your individual situation.
While it is always important to go after relationships that are fulfilling and right for you, your loved ones may also express themselves in ways that are unexpected and displeasing to you.
If you are unsure about how a friend or loved one feels about you moving in with a new partner, ask them.
Remain open-minded without becoming defensive, especially if your loved one says something that is difficult or frustrating to hear.
If you ask for honest advice, try to take it without losing your cool.
In most cases, loved ones may simply voice their concern about you rushing into the relationship too fast, which may or may not be true.
Getting opinions from a third party can help you significantly when you decide whether or not it is the right choice to move in with your partner before marriage.
You might notice a lack of sex drive much sooner than anticipated
Unfortunately, moving in and getting comfortable with a romantic partner too fast can leave you wanting more when it comes to your sex life.
Getting too comfortable with a romantic partner too soon can cause the mystery to fade and a lackluster sex life to enter the picture.
For some long-time monogamous couples, living in a marriage that is sexless is normal or accepted.
In other relationships with partners who cohabitate, a lacking sex life is accepted as normal.
If a high-functioning sex life and sex drive are important to you, avoid rushing into the prospect of moving in with any new partner, even if you have the urge to do so at first.
A short-lasting courting period can leave you wanting more
Do you enjoy the courting period of any relationship and going out on dates? Do you love surprising one another and keeping things interesting?
If so, you may want to pump the breaks when it comes to the possibility of moving in with one another.
A short-lasting courting period is not only a way to cause the passion to drain from a relationship sooner, but it can leave you wanting more, especially if you dive headfirst into the serious aspects of a relationship.
Moving in immediately with a new partner can cause you to feel as if you were never truly courted or that you missed out on the opportunity.
In order to repair your relationship, you and your partner can begin dating again and leading separate lives, especially if you have become too co-dependent early on.
Too much stress too early on in the relationship
Entering into a serious relationship that involves cohabitation early on is not always healthy and can lead to excessive and unnecessary stressors.
When you begin living together with a new partner, new bills and expenses will begin to add up.
If you do not know your partner well enough, you may begin to discover personality quirks and idiosyncrasies that you never noticed before, which may become annoying for you.
You may find yourself stressing over lifestyle choices, diet, spending, and even major life decisions.
When you are still new to a relationship, this can be difficult, as it is not always easy to define boundaries and to lead separate lives when you are living in the same home together.
If you begin to struggle financially or if you are unable to set clearly defined boundaries, you may find yourself stressed and overwhelmed much sooner than expected.
You may begin to live more as friends than lovers
If you choose to move in too soon with a partner, you may find yourself living more like friends than like lovers.
When there is no courting involved and no time to get to know one another independently, you run the risk of developing more of a platonic partnership and companionship with your partner before marriage.
While this does not always occur, it is possible if you are not careful with your decisions when it comes to moving in with your partner.
Before moving in with your partner, it is imperative to have a discussion regarding how both of you see your future as well as the relationship you have established with one another.
It can be difficult to establish relationship responsibilities and expectations
Any time you move in with another individual, it is important to establish responsibilities as well as expectations, whether you are moving in with a new roommate or a partner before marriage.
Moving in with a partner before marriage without setting expectations and discussing household responsibilities can quickly lead to unwanted tensions and strains, especially if one partner feels as if they are contributing more than the other.
Once you and your partner have made the decision to move in with one another, sit down to discuss the relationship expectations you have for one another as well as the household responsibilities each of you is willing to take on.
Dividing household chores, discussing work hours and contributions as well as finances are all important matters that should be brought up and discussed as soon as you decide to move in with one another.
You may not understand your complete financial situation yet
Although it is not always easy, it is necessary to discuss your finances prior to moving in together, even if you are jumping into a brand-new relationship.
Not discussing financial income and the current financial status of the partner you are willing to move into with can lead to disastrous outcomes down the road.
It may be a hot topic or an uncomfortable issue to bring up, but it is necessary to ensure you are both on the same page.
The last thing you want to experience once you move in with a new partner is financial instability due to their inability to hold a job, contribute, or provide anything to the relationship in a meaningful way.
Getting the difficult conversations out of the way before you move in can also help you to better gauge how your partner will react when discussing mature and important topics such as finances and their ability to contribute once moving in together.
You can feel bogged down and unable to live as you please
If you choose to move in with a partner too soon before you are married, you may develop feelings of resentment and feel tied down.
Feeling bogged down and unable to live as you please can leave you feeling angry and resentful, causing you to wonder if there is someone else who is right for you.
If you are the type of individual who enjoys your freedom and unrelenting independence, it is best to avoid rushing into the prospect of moving in with any partner right off of the bat, even if you feel the desire to do so on the surface.
Whenever you are feeling the pull to move in with a partner, it is important to cover all of your bases.
Are you satisfied with the way your life is going and the path you have created for yourself? Are you financially stable?
Are you open to living in a monogamous relationship? Are you ready for a relationship with open and honest communication?
Asking all of these questions can help you to determine if moving in with a partner is right for you.
If you are unsure about the idea of living with a romantic partner, take your time and allow the relationship to grow and bloom at a natural pace.
While there are some disadvantages to living together before marriage, not all relationships that cohabitate end in disaster.
Before choosing if moving in with your partner is right for your relationship, it is best to simply have open and honest discussions regarding the matter at hand.
With the ability to communicate directly and to remain open and honest, moving forward with major relationship decisions such as moving in together will become much clearer.
