To reject someone gracefully, be complimentary while you are being gentle. What do we mean? You can start off by telling them what a terrific person they are.
Then add that they will make a great mate for someone, but not for you.
Lastly, explain that you just do not have any attraction towards them.
If appropriate, you can invite him or her to be your friend. Do not do this if it will be too awkward or at all unwanted from them.
Table of Contents
Should you reject someone that is interested in you?
If you do not have the same feelings towards them, yes you should. You must be honest. Leading them on and making them think you like them back is wrong.
It can only lead to more misery for the two of you. You must be sensitive to their feelings, but you still have to let them down.
What if you liked them back at first, but now do not?
This can happen, folks! You start off with a mutual attraction for each other. However, your feelings have now changed.
Again, you need to be honest and tell them this. Explain it as nicely as you can, but definitely do let them down easily at this point.
Never drag it out any longer than necessary.
Is it ever appropriate to reject them in an email?
Years ago the answer would have been definitely not. Things have changed, however, and many relationships begin and end over the internet.
This is prevalent on social media sites. Again, it can start out great. Then one or both of you change and the interest dies. Now it is appropriate to tell them by email.
Why is a preparation period needed for letting someone down?
You have to prepare yourself for their response. No matter how hard you try, the other person is going to be hurt. This might result in crying or an angry retort.
Either way, you must be prepared for it. Maybe practice what you are going to say and do before taking action.
What should you do if this happens?
Above all else, be patient and understanding. Do not reply in an equally angry and insensitive manner. Remember they are acting out of hurt feelings.
At the same time, you should not back down and recant your statements. Over time, they will heal and get used to the concept of not seeing you again.
What if they react in a harmful way?
If you now suspect they could become violent towards themselves or towards you, contacting the proper authorities is the best thing to do.
At this stage, they require help you cannot give. It might be difficult for you to call for help for them, but you really ought to for everyone’s sake.
Can you reject them via a phone call?
In the case of long-distance relationships, yes you can. Even if it is in the same city, but too far away to drive there, a phone call is okay.
Whatever method you choose to let them down, it will be difficult. That is the nature of the beast. In the old days doing this in person was better.
Times have changed though, and now alternative ways are acceptable.
What you should not do when letting someone down
Do not do this without expressing compassion for them. Some people say you should not apologize, nor explain your decision.
We respectfully disagree. It is gentler to explain why you are rejecting them.
You can then apologize for hurting them, but still say your decision is final. Do be firm about this.
Another no-no when rejecting someone
If they have a physical trait or two that really bothers you, do not bring this up.
Even if it is your reason for rejecting them, they should not be told this. Instead, find some positive traits to compliment them on.
Then tell them you simply are not attracted to them. You need not go into hurtful details.
Is it okay to want to stay friends with them?
Most of the time it is not. You are at this point in your relationship where you feel you must reject him or her.
They probably have deeper feelings for you than you for them. This means being your friend will be too hard for them.
It will only result in more pain. Just let them go and both of you move on.
Don’t play games
What does this mean? You might have the notion that hurting them will be too rough for both of you.
So, you are tempted to play games and let them think you still love them when you don’t. This cannot go on! It only postpones the inevitable and misleads that person.
It is far better to be honest about everything.
Can you introduce them to somebody else you think will be a great match for them?
In today’s society, this is not a bad idea. It will not alleviate all the hurt feelings. However, maybe your friend will be a terrific match for them.
Many couples do meet this way. One or both of them could go forward and have a deep and lasting union.
Don’t let the process drag on
When you tell them, be direct and to the point. Don’t make an endless speech first and work your way towards the climax.
Again, you can offer an explanation for the rejection as well as an apology. But do it and get it over with.
It won’t be an easy process no matter how you approach it. Dragging it on only makes things worse.
Can you ever go back once you reject someone?
Why would this happen? Occasionally, after a while, the person who delivered the bad news has feelings of remorse.
This person now thinks he or she made a mistake and misses the one who is hurt. Can they go back and undo it?
Most of the time, no, they cannot. The person who was hurt will not trust you again.
It is better to learn from your mistake and move forward in your life without them. Let this be a lesson to you not to act hastily in making decisions like that.
What about rejecting someone you have been married to for a while?
Unfortunately, this can happen too. You and your spouse were happy for many years, but now your feelings have changed. What do you do?
Any method you use to tell your spouse will result in a broken heart. Most of the time they are not expecting this at all.
There will be tears and discomfort. Again though, you have to be honest.
In a situation like this, you really do owe them an explanation and an apology. They won’t be any less hurt. But maybe in time, they will forgive you.
Especially if kids are involved. Do your best to prepare for the outcome and good luck!
Should you stay in a marriage if your feelings have changed?
No! If your feelings for your spouse have changed this much, staying will only worsen things. It could result in cheating or resentful behavior.
You have to face the inevitable dramatic scenes and reject this person gracefully. It is the only way to resolve this unpleasant situation.