Breaking up can be difficult, especially if it wasn’t your idea to break things off and you were still in love with your partner.
What do you do if you’re just getting to the point of accepting that things are over, but your ex arrives at your house or calls you up on the phone, apologizing? How should you respond if your ex apologizes?
Determine If Your Ex Is Sincere
Before jumping back into your ex’s arms, determine if he or she is sincere about their apology.
If your ex is sincere, then you might be able to work out your problems and reconcile if that’s what you both want.
However, if your ex’s apology lacks sincerity, then you shouldn’t take him or her seriously, regardless of how much you still care.
If your ex isn’t sincere about his or her apology and the ex simply wants to reconcile for selfish reasons, then this isn’t good.
If you reconcile, then you could end up experiencing the same problems that led to your breakup in the first place.
This is why it’s important to ensure your ex’s apology is sincere before you even think about getting back together.
If you get back together and your ex’s apology was just feigned, then you will likely break up again very soon.
Why Is Your Ex Sorry?
If your ex comes to you and apologizes for his or her wrongdoing, be sure that you have them explain exactly why they are apologizing.
If they are genuinely sorry that the relationship ended, then this is completely different from being sorry for something that they did to cause the breakup.
Don’t be in such a hurry to rush back into a relationship that might be doomed to fail again.
If your ex is truly sorry for behaving in a certain manner in the past, then things could possibly work out for the two of you in the long run.
Don’t Accept Your Ex’s Apologies
If your ex treated you badly throughout the relationship and often belittled, insulted, or even abused you, then you shouldn’t accept your ex’s apologies.
Just because you may still love your ex doesn’t mean that you must accept his or her apology.
You deserve more than being made to feel bad about yourself or to suffer abuse, so don’t feel compelled to accept your ex’s apology just because he or she is apologizing.
What Is Your Ex’s Ulterior Motive?
If your ex’s main reason for apologizing to you is simply to rid him or herself of guilt in order to move on, then don’t feel pressured into accepting the apology.
It’s not your job to ease your ex’s guilty conscience, especially at your own expense. Take your time to evaluate things before responding to your ex’s apologies.
If you make an immediate decision based on your emotions, then it could be the wrong decision and might cause you some regret.
Take Some Time If You Need It
It can be an emotional moment to hear from your ex again after you’ve been apart for a while, so it’s only natural if you feel overwhelmed and filled with mixed emotions at first.
Don’t hesitate to take some time to try to sort out your feelings before agreeing to a heart-to-heart, if necessary, but be sure to explain things to your ex.
Then, once you’ve had adequate time to sort out your feelings, you can sit down with your ex and listen to his or her apology if you desire.
Then, you will be better able to make the right decision regarding a possible future or permanent breakup with your ex. But only have a heart-to-heart once you’re ready.
Should You Listen to What Your Ex Has to Say?
If you and your ex broke up on bad terms, your ex did and or said some things that were extremely hurtful, and you don’t want to hear from them, then there’s no law that says you need to listen to what he or she has to say.
Whether you need more time or you have decided that you never want to speak to your ex again, your feelings matter, so don’t do something that you don’t feel comfortable with.
You don’t owe your ex an explanation; he or she is an ex for a reason.
Should You Ghost Your Ex?
If you’re still angry about the breakup and you don’t want to hear from your ex, you might consider ghosting him or her after receiving a text message or phone call.
If you ghost him or her for long enough, then he or she will certainly get the message that you don’t want to be bothered.
However, if your ex fails to stop attempting to contact you, then you may need to simply reply explaining that you want to be left alone and that you have nothing to say to them.
Sure, your ex’s feelings will be hurt, but you can’t help that. You have to prioritize your own feelings, you deserve it.
What If Your Ex Can’t Take “No” For an Answer?
If you decide that you want nothing to do with your ex, you accept their apology, and you just want to be left alone afterward, then that’s fine.
However, people sometimes have difficulty letting go, and things could become uncomfortable or even potentially dangerous.
If your ex fails to stop contacting you, even after you’ve requested it, and he or she seems to be desperate, then you may need to involve law enforcement.
Many people have been in relationships that have ended, yet the other person didn’t want to let go and ended up becoming a stalker.
If you notice things becoming similar to this in your life, then don’t hesitate to file a police report and obtain a restraining order if necessary.
Stalkers have the tendency to become dangerous and may lash out physically, so don’t think that your ex isn’t capable of such behavior because you “know them well.” Sometimes you never really know a person.
Realize That Not All Couples in Love Can Be Together
If you and your ex argued a lot during your relationship because you could never agree on things, then you might need to face the fact that you’re incompatible.
Many incompatible couples fall in love and attempt relationships and even marriages, but these unions often end in disaster.
So, if your ex apologizes to you and wants you back but you feel that you two are incompatible, you might need to pass on a reconciliation.
While you and your ex may be very much in love, if you’re incompatible, then you will likely be miserable more often than you’re happy.
For most couples, this isn’t acceptable, and many agree that they deserve to be happy more often than they’re miserable.
Get The Closure You Need
After a breakup, many couples not only need time apart but also may decide they need to formally apologize to each other. Apologizing to each other and discussing the reason for the breakup is a great way to get the closure that you may both need.
Even if you don’t feel you did anything wrong, it’s okay to apologize to an ex if you two are trying to get closure before moving on. It can be a very healthy way to end a relationship.
Provide Your Ex with an Apology as Well
In a case where you and your ex both did wrong in the relationship and were both equally at fault, then it is perfectly fine if you apologize to your ex as well.
This may be exactly what the two of you needed to fix your relationship – time apart, and then a reconciliation.
However, just because you both apologize to each other doesn’t mean that you will necessarily reconcile, as you may decide that you’re better off as friends in the end.
Should the Two of You Sit Down and Talk?
You and your ex broke up for a reason, so it’s necessary for you to talk things out before you start making out and ending up in bed.
Sometimes, strong feelings can surface when you see an ex that you’re still in love with, so unless you’re absolutely sure that you want your ex back, then refrain from jumping right into bed without first resolving things.
Having sex with an apologizing ex without discussing the reasons for your breakup in the first place could make things even worse – if that’s at all possible.
Sometimes, a breakup is good for couples, as it can provide them with much-needed time away from each other so they can think and work out issues that prevented them from being happy when they were together.
So, if you and your ex broke the relationship off but he or she comes back to you sometime later, apologizing, then maybe you’re meant to get back together.
However, take the time to make sure this is the case before your open your arms to your ex again.