If you’ve been in a no-strings-attached relationship with a guy and you’ve fallen in love with him, then that is nothing to be ashamed of.
For most people, sharing intimacy with another person without involving emotions can be almost impossible.
In fact, many romantic relationships and even marriages start out as friends-with-benefits or even platonic relationships.
You might be wondering how you can tell your “friend” about your feelings, a potentially awkward conversation.
Despite the fact that it can be incredibly awkward at first, you need to sit your guy down and simply talk to him.
Ask him questions and see how he is feeling before you make your big confession – you don’t want to ruin your friendship if he doesn’t feel the same way you do.
Here are eight ways to assess whether your guy’s feelings might be reciprocated.
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Has he been staying over longer after sex?
People in strictly friends with benefits relationships typically don’t linger and hang out together after sex.
Usually, immediately after sex, the guy (or the girl) leaves, because their only connection is sex.
However, if you notice that your guy has been staying over later and later and maybe sometimes even spending the night, then he likely feels the same way about you.
The next time he stays over, gauge how he acts and what he says.
Is staying over simply more convenient for him? Does he sleep on the couch? Does he leave first thing in the morning?
Or is he sleeping in the same bed with you, sharing breakfast or coffee with you the next morning, and acting as if you guys are a couple?
There’s a big difference between these behaviors, so pay attention.
Has he been buying you gifts?
Guys love buying gifts for women that they care about, so if your “friend” has suddenly started buying you gifts, then he may have fallen in love with you, too.
This is especially a possibility if the gifts are expensive because most guys aren’t going to spend a lot of money on a woman they have no feelings for.
Even if the gifts aren’t particularly expensive, it could still indicate that he has feelings for you.
Obviously, he’s thinking about you outside the times you’re in bed together and he’s taking the time and putting thought into buying special gifts for you.
This is huge, but don’t get your hopes up until you have assessed him in other ways as well.
However, if he’s buying flowers, especially roses, then that could be his way of letting you know he cares about you without coming out and saying it.
Has he been calling or texting you just to talk?
When two people are in a friends-with-benefits relationship, there is usually not much talking and texting unless it’s to plan a day, place, and time to hook up.
However, if your guy has been calling or texting you at random times just to talk, he may be falling for you.
The purpose of a friends-with-benefits relationship is to enjoy sex without getting your emotions involved, but if your guy has been calling and texting and asking you about your life, then even if he doesn’t realize it, he’s more emotionally invested than he might realize.
Next time he calls or texts, pay attention to what he’s really saying during the conversations, and you might be able to determine what he’s trying to tell you.
Has he been cuddling more and showing more affection?
Showing more affection, through kissing, hugging, and even cuddling before and after sex, is a strong indication that he’s emotionally involved.
Again, a friends-with-benefits relationship is strictly about sex, and any affection or cuddling indicates an emotional connection.
Since he obviously enjoys being affectionate by cuddling, kissing, and hugging, why don’t you initiate some of the affection?
First of all, it will feel good for you to be cuddled by the man you’re falling in love with, and secondly, it’s an indirect way to show him that you have romantic feelings for him.
Perhaps he doesn’t realize that he has feelings for you, but when he sees you showing more affection towards him, it might help him to realize that you two are destined to be more than just sex-only buddies.
Has he been telling you more about his life?
If your “friend” has been more talkative about his life, his job, family, and friends lately and has even asked you to meet his family or friends, that is a huge sign that he wants more with you than a sexual relationship.
Most people in friends-with-benefits relationships don’t discuss important things outside sex, especially intimate things about their personal lives.
And if your guy has asked you to meet his friends and/or family, then you can be pretty sure that he feels the same about you.
Since he’s opened the door, you should spend as much time as you can getting to know your guy’s friends and family.
In fact, why not introduce him to your friends and family as well?
The more he gets to know you outside of the bedroom, the more likely he is to realize that he wants more with you than mere sex.
Has he asked you out on dates outside the bedroom?
If your guy has asked you out on dates outside the bedroom – to go out to eat, to the movies, and other places – this is certainly good news.
While it’s not a guarantee that your sex-only buddy wants to ask you to be his girlfriend, it’s certainly a strong indication that he does.
The more you guys get to know each other and the more you spend time together laughing and enjoying each other’s company, the more likely you are to fall in love.
That’s how people fall in love, by spending time together enjoying each other’s company, which is why people who are strictly friends with benefits refrain from spending time together outside the bedroom – they don’t want to fall in love.
Many relationships start out as sex-only, friends-with-benefits type relationships until the couple starts to trust each other and eventually falls in love.
Despite this fact, it can be difficult to not only admit that you are falling in love with your “friend” but also to open your heart to potentially getting hurt again.
People in friends-with-benefits relationships also struggle with the possibility that their relationship dynamics could change.
It can be terrifying to switch from a “safe” sex-only relationship to a romantic relationship where your feelings are out in the open, especially if there has been significant emotional trauma in the past.
Many people prefer friends-with-benefits relationships because they don’t want to get emotionally involved for fear that they’ll get hurt like they did in the past.
However, people are only human, and spending time together and having sex can cause even the most emotionally damaged person to heal and fall in love again.
Even if, after carefully assessing your “friend,” you aren’t sure whether he feels the same about you or not, you still need to admit to him how you feel.
If he says he doesn’t feel the same, he may simply be afraid of letting you into his heart.
Give it time, and if it’s meant for the two of you to become more than friends, then things will soon fall into place. If things never progress, then don’t get too upset.
Perhaps the two of you can remain friends, but if not, at least you will know you were brave enough to admit how you feel.
