After failing at online dating, getting back into the dating scene requires persistence and patience. You’ll also need the willingness to try new things as well as the ability to have fun.
Failing online dating doesn’t mean you’ll never enjoy dating again, but you may need to rebuild your confidence by taking a break.
Dating should be fun and memorable, but a series of bad dating experiences can really damage your self-esteem.
You may have started going to first dates asking yourself questions like, “How bad will this date be?” and “What better ways could I be spending my time?”
If you’re thinking this way before or during a date, chances are, your attitude toward dating has shifted due to your experiences.
Remember the time when dating was fun? If online dating isn’t working, these changes will help.
1. Switch to traditional dating
While online dating consists of browsing profiles, traditional dating involves in-person meetups.
So, if you’d rather ensure you get what you see, traditional dating is the way to go, as the risks associated with fake photos and profiles are non-issues.
Trust sits at the center of dating. Meeting someone in person first means you can skip the dread of possibly driving miles and miles just to meet someone who isn’t what you expected.
You should switch to traditional dating when the disadvantages of online dating make it impossible for you to find a match.
Rather than withdrawing into yourself, learn to appreciate your strong points so you can get comfortable with yourself and head out on the town.
2. Evaluate your personality
Responsibility. Humility. Fairness and integrity. Honesty and loyalty. Respect and compassion. These are some of the most intriguing personality traits.
But among them all, emotional maturity tops the list of what singles want – according to a Match survey of 5,000 singles.
Recall your relationship history. Were there signs the person you once dated casually was beginning to pull away?
Did you feel like you had to try harder to be yourself but felt like someone different at the same time?
If so, now’s the time to reexamine your personality. That means building upon your strengths, so you won’t seem too boring or distant.
- Brainstorm topics for conversations before your next date
- Choose date night locations that allow you to be your best self
- Focus conversations on your achievements when appropriate
If you strive to act pleasant and sincere, you’ll be more approachable to potential dates. Chances are that the dates who are interested will notice.
Best advice: never change solely for someone else. As long as your personality reflects your best self, you’re sure to attract the attention of dates worth meeting.
3. Make dating profile adjustments
From your cover image to your profile picture, down to the information you include in your profile.
The odds of you being successful in online dating diminish significantly if your profile is inaccurate or poorly written.
Depending on how you chose your dating site, you might be able to make some minor adjustments that can make a major impact.
It’s worth double-checking to make sure your profile picture isn’t grainy. While first impressions matter, no good can come from making yourself look bad.
Sloppiness will be ignored on platforms like eHarmony, as sincerity and seriousness are the names of the games.
Even for more casual sites, if you don’t put in the effort, you shouldn’t be surprised if you’re not getting messages and invitations.
People don’t like people who appear sloppy. So, it’s worth putting more effort into creating your profile.
Choose a cover image that reflects what you love and delete subsections that draw attention away from what you want people to see.
Even better, add relevant keywords to showcase your profession, hobbies, interests, or ideas.
You’re better off with a wholesome, complete look than one that’s rushed and incomplete.
4. Take a break from online dating
You might need to turn your profile to private, hidden, unavailable, or whatever status option suggests you’re not dating at the moment.
You can easily burn out from meeting so many new people. If you have failed at online dating, a break from dating may be exactly what you need.
The trick is to define your break. Do you want to forego dating altogether or quit online dating in particular?
Quitting permits you to stop trying so hard so you can enjoy life independently and leave dating for another time.
Take a break to focus on your needs, goals, and priorities. You’ll be in a better mental state later, plus more eager to get back to dating.
5. Have more fun while dating
Ever get the feeling that your attitude toward dating might have changed?
One date went wrong. Then another, and another. And before long, you’re not sticking to the most important rule: have fun.
If you find you’re going into new dates with a close-minded perspective, then open your mind.
Increase your chances of having fun by:
- Trying new activities, venues, and experiences
- Sharing intimate details about yourself
- Having crazy or silly conversations for fun
- Bringing along friends
- Photographing or recording portions of your date
The more willing you are to have a good time, the better. Give yourself permission to feel free to express yourself with your date.
Whether that means sharing what’s on your mind when you’d prefer to stay quiet or trying something spontaneous to see the results, your dating experiences should feel refreshing and exciting.
Conclusion
If online dating isn’t working well for you, you can always take a break and focus on other parts of your life.
Alternatively, you can embrace traditional dating and learn to have more fun on your dates.
If you want to stick with online dating, you can make slight adjustments to your existing profile in order to boost your chances of finding a match.
