Divorce is a daunting prospect for those who intend to remain married for the rest of their lives.
And, while divorce rates in the US have climbed to an estimated 50% of all couples, there is still a chance for couples who have divorced one another to rekindle the flame.
Approximately 6% of all divorced couples have gotten back together after they were already married and divorced.
Why do people get back together after getting a divorce?
Sometimes, there is simply no way to stop love.
In some cases, couples who choose to get back together with one another after they have already finalized the divorce process may choose to do so for a number of reasons, including:
- Still feeling in love with your ex-spouse
- Spending enough time away from one another to determine that they are meant to be together
- Forgiving one another for past indiscretions or shortcomings
- Attempting to change in order to be more compatible with one another again
- Wanting to work out the relationship for the sake of any shared children or businesses they have with one another
Is it normal to get back together with a spouse after divorce?
Because the term “normal” is subjective, this will all be relative based on the relationship you have with your spouse as well as the surrounding relationships you have with others in your life.
While most couples do not get back together after going through the process of filing for and finalizing a divorce, it may not be out of the realm of possibility for others.
If you have a strong enough bond and attachment to your ex-spouse, you may find it difficult to go on without him or her in your life.
How many people are open to reconciling after going through a divorce?
Various studies show that up to 60% of those who are going through a divorce are often open to reconciliation, at least at some point throughout the process.
If I try to reconcile with my spouse after a divorce, will it work?
This will depend on what caused your divorce.
It will also be important to consider the type of relationship and the strength of the bond you had with your ex before considering if reconciliation will work.
If your current ex shows little to no signs of interest in rekindling the relationship or attempting to repair your current marriage, it is best to move on.
You may also need to give one another space while going through the initial stages of a divorce, as it can quickly become stressful and overwhelming for those who are not familiar with the process.
If your spouse has a track record of cheating or getting involved with illicit affairs, it may be much more difficult to trust them, even if they are adamant that they will be loyal and faithful to you in the future.
How do I know if I should get back together with my ex after our divorce has been finalized?
This will also depend on the current dynamics of the relationship you have with your ex-partner or ex-spouse.
If you feel that both of you are still in love and have a strong bond and connection, it may be possible to reconcile and get back together, even after a divorce.
If you have both made efforts to improve your lives and yourselves and you are equally as open to the idea of reconciliation, it may be worth a shot once you are ready to take the next step.
Signs a rekindling of the relationship might work after a divorce
It is not always easy to tell from the surface that a relationship may work, especially if you do not see the dynamic of the relationship in private.
However, if you want to know if rekindling the relationship you had with an ex-spouse will work for you, consider the following:
- How do you feel when you think of your ex-spouse? Do you think of him or her fondly, or do you feel anger, bitterness, and/or resentment whenever their name is mentioned?
- What type of relationship do you want with your ex-partner? Are you raising children together and do you want a friendly partner, or are you interested in rekindling the romantic flame of your relationship?
- Is it possible for you to forgive one another? In every marriage or relationship, problems are likely to arise from time to time. If you are thinking about the prospect of getting back together with a former spouse, you both will need to forgive one another. It may also be necessary for both partners to agree to forget past transgressions and indiscretions in order for you both to move on properly together.
When you ask yourself important questions regarding the relationship you had with an ex-spouse, you can discover valuable insights that can help you with making your decisions moving forward.
If you are self-aware of the relationship you had with your ex-spouse and you understand what to expect if you get back together, you can make a decision that will ultimately benefit you and your happiness in the long run.
Is it healthy to get back with a spouse after a divorce?
While some may argue that it is never healthy or positive to get back together with an ex, especially an ex-spouse, others claim that separation was one of the best moves for their relationship as a whole.
In some instances, spending time apart and actually completing the divorce process can be extremely beneficial for both partners involved in the separation.
When you spend time apart from your partner, you will discover whether or not the separation is the right move for you.
How do I know if I am ready to get back with my spouse after a divorce?
If you have recently gone through a divorce but are thinking of getting back with your spouse, you may be wondering how to tell if you are ready to do so on your own.
You can tell if you are ready to get back with an ex-spouse by remaining self-aware of your thoughts and actions, such as:
- The preoccupation of thought: Being preoccupied with the thought of getting back together with your ex-spouse is a surefire way to tell that you may be meant to be with one another.
- Open and ongoing communication: If you are still openly communicating with your ex and discussing life plans in a positive manner, you may do well attempting to reconcile your separation.
- Romantic feelings remain: In some cases, love is unstoppable and unbreakable, even when it comes to divorces after long marriages. If you find yourself wanting to be with your ex-spouse romantically and he or she feels the same ever after finalizing your divorce, it may be possible for the two of you to get back together at some point.
How do I maintain a healthy relationship with my ex-spouse after a divorce?
After going through a divorce, you are likely to experience a wide range of emotions and responses.
Whether you are angry, sad, or relieved, knowing how to maintain a healthy relationship with your ex-spouse is essential for the best possibilities that may arise in the future.
After getting a divorce, maintain an amicable relationship by keeping the following tips in mind:
- Give your ex-spouse as much space as possible, especially during the early weeks and months after your divorce has been finalized.
- Avoid going out and dating others immediately after finalizing your divorce if maintaining an amicable and potentially romantic relationship with your ex-spouse is a priority.
- Remain calm, polite, and upfront when discussing plans and learning to live on your own independently again.
- Remain open to discussions and always speak honestly when working through relationship issues with an ex-spouse.
How can I tell if my ex-spouse is thinking of getting back together?
If your ex-spouse is thinking of you and can’t get you off of his or her mind, they may want to get back together.
Some signs that your ex is thinking of getting back with you might include:
- Constant and ongoing communication
- If he or she is hinting at spending more time together or going back to “how things once were”
- An increase of interest in your hobbies, schedule, work, and social life
- Asking questions about you personally in an attempt to show his or her interest in you personally
- Attempting to spend time together, even after you are divorced
- Attempting to spend time with you in a physical capacity as well as in an emotional capacity
How long should I wait before attempting to get back together with an ex-spouse?
There is not always a right or wrong answer to this question, as each relationship you enter will vary in terms of dynamics, needs, and the type of bond you have with your partner.
If you are thinking of getting back together with an ex-spouse, you should wait at least a few months before you attempt to rekindle the flame.
Attempting to rekindle the flame too soon may send your ex-spouse running in the opposite direction.
It is essential to give proper time and space to your exes as they also may be working through emotions and feelings that they still have for you.
Does remarrying a previous spouse ever work out?
Yes. Surprisingly, rekindled romances and relationships may feel deeper and more emotionally intense than others, which can result in a long-lasting bond that is difficult to break.
While more than 60% of all second marriages in the US end in divorce, with 73% of third marriages experiencing the same fate, rekindled romances and marriages differ in many ways.
Many studies have shown that couples who have divorced one another only to get back together with one another again in the future have a much greater chance of staying together.
Additionally, those who give a “lost and found” relationship a chance are much more likely to experience an emotional connection that is unlike any other from previous and past relationships.
Am I right for a “lost and found” love?
If you have a desire to give your heart to your spouse for life and you have the ability to forget and forgive, you may be right for a lost and found love.
Loving someone even after you have divorced them and separated may show true commitment and dedication to another individual, which is not always easy to find.
When you find a partner who feels as committed and as dedicated to you even after going through the entire process of divorce, you have likely made the right choice to reconcile.