Sometimes it feels much easier to break up with someone through text. You don’t have to face their reaction and you can avoid the awkwardness of having a difficult conversation in person. But there are many reasons why this is a bad idea – 8 reasons, in fact!
Table of Contents
1) It’s not personal enough
If you’re going to put an end to something that was once very important for both parties, at least do it personally or over the phone.
Texting doesn’t respect the person you’re breaking up with or the relationship you’ve had.
Just think – your relationship included times of intimacy, like hugging, kissing, and talking about personal issues. Why would you suddenly act like you’re not even close and pass it off as if you never cared?
Even though it’s easier to break up through text, it’s not respectful and your ex doesn’t deserve to be treated in this way. At the very least, give him a call to let him hear your voice one more time.
2) There is no closure
Breaking up with someone through text leaves them feeling confused and upset.
There is no closure when breaking up like this, and it’s likely that your ex will think about the situation over and over again and try to figure out what happened – especially if he didn’t know there were problems with the relationship.
When you break up face-to-face or through a phone call, at least both parties can work their way through any issues together. By talking things through, they’ll be able to move forward quickly without having lingering thoughts or feelings of doubt.
Texting is quick and impersonal, which leaves one person feeling cheated because they don’t get a personal explanation for why it ended between them when they used to share such a strong connection.
3) It is cowardly
It is cowardly to break up with someone through text – it’s just not right.
Instead of thinking about yourself, think of how your ex will feel when he reads the “letting go” message you’ve sent him via text or email. Imagine his emotions and what he might be feeling at that moment. After all, this was once a close relationship for both people involved!
Don’t do something like this unless you’re ready to deal with future consequences. Breaking up face-to-face will be much better for everyone involved in the long run.
Breaking up over text lacks courage, empathy, and respect. If anything, it makes you look immature and selfish. It is really important to think before acting and take the time to consider what you’re doing before acting impulsively.
How would you feel if someone broke up with you over text? It would hurt! Not only because the relationship is over, but also because it makes you question everything about the relationship. Like, did they even like me at all?
Breaking up face-to-face shows respect for both people involved in the breakup. It also gives closure so that each person has time to process what happened before moving on with their lives.
4) You may regret it later
You may regret breaking up with someone through text later on because you realize that it wasn’t as fine as you thought. Although it felt like the right thing to do at the time, it’s likely that you will later feel guilty for what you did to someone so close to you.
There’s a possibility that your ex will be angry about how the situation went down and hold on to negative feelings for quite some time – especially since he won’t have closure from talking things over face-to-face.
If other people find out that you broke up with him or her in such a heartless way, then they might treat you differently. They may even judge and disapprove of your behavior, which would certainly cause problems within your social circle.
As you can see, it just isn’t worth the risk when there are so many other ways to break up without being cruel.
5) Always be kind
Remember that you are not the only one affected by your actions. Your ex is going to be hurt, upset, and confused after reading your text message or email – even if there were problems in the relationship.
Always think about how he will react before taking action. It’s likely that breaking up with him face-to-face is a much kinder option.
There are many reasons for breaking up with someone, but you should never do it through text or email. This is just an unacceptable way to end things between two people.
6) Karma could return the favor
If you break up with someone through text, email, or other forms of technology then it’s possible that karma will return the favor. This is because being so heartless to your ex could come back and bite you later on if you’re not careful.
It may seem like a good idea at the time, but there are always consequences for your actions. Take this into consideration before doing something that might hurt someone else.
7) It’s awkward if you see them again
You never know when you might bump into your ex again. This means that it could be really embarrassing if he or she brings up the fact that you broke up with them in such a cowardly way.
It’s much better to take this conversation offline and do something like meeting for coffee instead – even though it will still probably be awkward.
At least this allows everything to be out in the open and with no lingering hard feelings. It means you won’t have to keep avoiding bumping into this person because there is simply nothing else to worry about – everything has already been said.
8) Face to face is easier if you need to pick things up
Breaking up with someone through text, email, or messaging is an easy way to get out of a relationship because it feels like there are no real consequences.
However, that doesn’t mean it’s the best solution. Breaking up in person means it’s much easier to arrange to pick up things or sort out any paperwork.
Imagine sending a text, and then realizing that you still need to collect your things from his house, or even sign the paperwork for any joint contracts…awkward!
It’s much better to do things in person because this ensures that everything goes smoothly and without any problems.
FAQ
You may still have some questions about how to break up with someone without being too mean, so here are some answers that might help.
Can I ask for my things back if we broke up through text?
Yes, but you need to be polite about it, especially as things are going to be more awkward than usual. Don’t send a text saying, “Hey, I want my stuff back.” because he is unlikely to respond. In fact, he may still be angry after you broke up with him through text.
Instead, try something like, “Hey, I was wondering if you still had my ____? If so could you drop it off at the coffee shop on ___ street?” This makes things easier for both of you.
How can I break up with someone without being mean through text?
The best way to do this is by being honest and kind. If you have been unhappy for a while, it’s okay to say so, but try your very hardest not to be mean or rude about it.
For example: “I’ve been thinking a lot lately and I realized that our relationship isn’t going anywhere.” This gives him the opportunity to talk things through and he might even be able to change your mind.
“I’m sorry, I know this is hard for both of us.” That way it’s clear what the situation is without ill intentions. He will understand eventually.
What if I’m still friends with my ex?
If you are both mature adults then there is nothing wrong with being friendly when it comes to breaking up. You can text or talk about what happened and how each of you feels without any awkwardness.
In fact, it’s actually a good idea to do this because you can end things amicably and even become friends – if that is what you both want. You may even realize that your relationship was never going to work, so being mature about the breakup will ensure everything goes smoothly without any hard feelings between the two.
But when is okay to break up with someone through text?
Dumping someone over text message is usually wrong, there are still some situations where it is the best option.
For example, if you live far away or are constantly busy, then it’s not possible to meet up to explain things in person. The solution here would give to tell him over the phone. It is best to hear it from you as directly as possible so that he can understand better.
If your relationship is toxic and abusive, then a breakup in person could be dangerous. It would be best to end it ASAP regardless of how it’s done. Text is also helping as it can serve as evidence in case things escalate.
If there are serious reasons why it’s not possible for you to speak with your ex in person, then a text or phone call is okay in this situation. However, it would be best to give him a call first and explain the reason behind breaking up.
Why do so many people break up through text?
It seems like almost all of us have been dumped by text at some point in our lives, but why does this happen?
It has to do with consequences. In the past, we would mainly date within our friend groups, which meant that ending on good terms was a better idea.
However, social media and online dating have created a world that lacks connection. It’s incredibly easy to message your partner and then casually move on to the next task on your phone.
It’s a lot less confrontational than telling someone in person that things aren’t working out. It saves you time, energy, and anxiety – not to mention the potential for hurt feelings or anger when their response is negative.
However, there are many downsides to this method. It lacks courage, empathy, and is immature.
Conclusion
Breaking up through text is impersonal and leaves one partner cheated out of a personal explanation for why the relationship ended despite their best efforts.
If at all possible, it is recommended to break up with someone face-to-face, because it shows respect, gives closure, and is much kinder overall. It’s better for both parties involved to end things in person.
If you have already broken up with your ex via text, then you should find a way to talk with him face-to-face. Don’t do this over text, call if you can and try to show your partner the respect they deserve.
Be sure to apologize and tell him why you used text messages to break up with him. Let him know that you understand that it was a cowardly thing for you to do and explain why the relationship failed from your point of view.
After this, if they still want to stay friends with you, then that’s great! If not, at least apologize once more for hurting their feelings. Overall, face-to-face is the best way to break up because it provides closure so both parties can move on emotionally.
