Have you been thinking about giving up on your relationship? Does your relationship seem to be losing its spark?
There are many reasons why your relationship might be on the rocks and headed towards a breakup, and there are ways you can save your relationship – so read on to find out!
1. You Don’t Understand Each Other’s Love Language
Wouldn’t it be a great world if we could all act and think the same? Well, we’re sorry to break it to you: that’s not the case, and never will be.
The truth is, men and women both think differently, and are motivated and influenced by different things when it comes to love. Your partner might actually have a different love language than you do!
If so, it might take a lot of learning and patience to know how to support and love them.
What fuels their desire?
What makes them feel loved?
Men often have an innate need to provide for and be needed by their woman, and feel a sense of importance to them. Generally, men want to feel like the hero who always saves the day.
If he doesn’t feel like a hero in the relationship, he probably isn’t feeling valued and isn’t feeling like he’s fulfilling his purpose in the partnership.
One thing you can do to make him feel this way is to show him and tell him what you need, but at the same time, not playing the victim card. If you demonstrate this effectively, he’ll be able to step up and fulfill your needs, and his own.
2. You Don’t Communicate Effectively
Two primary factors to a fulfilling, life-long relationship is undoubtedly trust and communication – and many relationships fall through the cracks because partners do not communicate properly.
When there’s a lack of communication, contempt can slip in and cause people to become more frustrated. Ineffective communication can often cause you to hate your partner.
Therefore to successfully communicate with your partner, we suggest trying to put yourself into your partner’s shoes and seeing things from his perspective. Then, be sure to alwayskeep it calm, with no drama involved.
It’s also really important to learn about the 13 Tips for Communicating Effectively With your Partner.
3. You’re Insecure With Yourself
Sometimes, when we’re in a relationship with another person, we tend to forget that we’re two separate entities. We can forget that we have lives of our own, and become so entwined with our partner that we forget what we want from life – and, as a result, can leave us with an underlying feeling of unfulfillment.
In these situations, it’s very easy to project this feeling onto your partner, which is really unhealthy for the relationship. The reality is, you need to take time out and give yourself a lot of self-love.
- Take some time for introspection, and work on yourself to make yourself feel better.
- Sometimes having a third-party perspective (read: therapy!) can be refreshing, and can help you realize your potential and figure out how to best work on certain areas of your life.
- Meditation serves as a great way to improve mindfulness and allow you to breathe and focus in a more positive manner. It can set you up to be more control of each day.
- Exercise to release hormones known as endorphins, which triggers a sense of happiness and a natural high.
Most importantly, remember to do things for you – and when you do, you’ll most likely be a better version of yourself for you and your partner. Check out these 27 Self-Care Ideas for some ways you can work on yourself to be a better you.
4. It’s Become Mundane
After the honeymoon phase is over, reality sinks in. The passionate feelings start to die down, and idolization begins to diminish.
Yeah, it sucks, but it’s actually completely normal. We all have lives to live, jobs to attend, families to help, and so forth. We can’t dedicate 24 hours a day to our partner.
So what can you do?
Just because the honeymoon phase has faded away, doesn’t mean we can’t play our part to bring spark to the relationship.
- Take time to give your partner flowers, bring home chocolates, and surprise them with small meaningful gifts or gestures.
- Give them compliments often.
- If you both have busy schedules, allocate a certain evening of the week for just the two of you.
- Have regular or weekly date nights, away from distractions.
This is pretty much essential to adding a bit of flavor back into the relationship. Dedicate your attention to one another.
For some ideas, you might want to check out 30 unique dates that’ll add spark to your relationship.
5. You and Your Partner Need Alone Time
It’s common for one or both partners to feel a bit smothered in a relationship. After all, we’re in constant communication with our other half, and may even live together too.
No matter how much you think you don’t want to spend any time apart, remember that you both had a life before you both started dating or getting married.
If your partner goes out with their friends and you don’t get invited, don’t be offended. Your partner might be needing the space from you and to spend time in the company of others.
It’s important to connect with other people you love and have fun also.
Plus, if you give each other space to do your own things, you’ll both come back happier and with a more positive energy to bring to the relationship.
6. There Are Financial Difficulties
Money can be a major problem to any relationship, and is a big cause of many divorces. Whether you’re paying off a big loan, you owe money, or are trying to make ends meet, it can be difficult.
Sometimes, when we’re going through something hard, we tend to want to deal with it on our own – especially when it comes to something so personal and sensitive as our finances.
But that’s where the problem lies: if we keep financial troubles hidden, and the problems spiral even more out of control, it makes it extremely difficult to tell our partner – which is why honesty is key.
To help save your relationship, discuss any financial problems with your partner. Work together and try to discuss short and long-term financial goals, and create a plan to achieve them as a couple.
Don’t ever blame your partner for their financial difficulties. Plus, never hide any of your own income or debt. It’s good to show each other financial documents, including reports, statements, and bills to allow you to tackle the financial problems together.
7. Household chores
Not everyone has the same set of priorities as their partners do, especially when it comes to prioritizing household chores.
If you both don’t do it at a certain pace that matches the other, one partner typically ends up doing more than the other – resulting in feelings of being taken for granted.
Similarly, if this happens often – especially when there are other things going on in your lives – you might feel fed up with each other.
One great way of resolving this is having a conversation about splitting household chores. Having a clear plan will help with accountability, and will ensure that each partner feels like they’re contributing equally.
The Bottom Line
If you’ve noticed any of the above signs, your relationship may be on the rocks. No matter which of the 5 types of couples you and your partner are and what type of relationship you have together, it’s important to keep the spark alive – and to recognize when it’s time to call it quits.
If you and your partner want to keep your relationship going strong, here are 20 things to try before giving up on your relationship.