It’s not easy to get over a crush on your best friend. You’ve spent all of your time with them, and they were always there for you when you needed someone the most.
It can be hard to imagine life without him or her, but here are some things that’ll help you move on…
1. Be honest with yourself.
Your best friend is someone you know more than anyone else. Consequently, you’re privy to their best and worst qualities. It’s important to remember these qualities to stop romantic thoughts from clouding your judgment. Remind yourself why this wouldn’t work out and regain control.
Do they spend a lot of time gaming? Do they have poor hygiene? It is often best to rely on reason, not emotions, in order to get over a crush.
2. Talk to someone else you trust.
It’s common to bottle up all of your feelings, but you should know that this will only make the crush feel worse. If you feel like your crush is taking up too much of your life, spend some time talking to a sibling or parent about what’s going on.
You don’t want these feelings to turn into an obsession that takes over everything else.
It’s important to only share these secrets with friends that can be trusted, though Telling multiple people is the quickest way for a rumor about you to spread throughout your friend group.
3. Don’t ignore the issue.
You may try to ignore your feelings for the person you have a crush on, but they won’t go away. The issue isn’t going to suddenly disappear. You can go on pretending that things are great or you could do something to change your circumstances.
The fact that you are reading this article shows just how committed and proactive you really are. It’s a good sign that you’re taking action to solve the issue – keep up the great work!
4. Limit contact.
If you’re not ready to cut off contact completely, start by limiting it. Try scheduling some time with your friends – like lunch once a week or coffee on the weekends.
If you’re going to be seeing your crush at work, try making friends with people in other departments. It’ll make it easier for you if there’s someone else who can help distract from the fact that they’re always around.
The less you interact with your friend, the more time and energy is freed up to explore other friendships. Besides, it also allows us to experience new activities in our lives that we may not have otherwise had a chance of experiencing.
5. Avoid social media.
One of the best ways to get over a crush on your best friend is to stay away from their social media. Removing oneself from the situation can help to reduce feelings of attachment.
A brief break from social media can be beneficial for the mental health of all of us, but especially when you’re infatuated by someone.
People are always glued to their cell phones, and it seems like social media has become a way of life for many. In fact, nearly half of all time spent online now goes towards checking out social media sites!
A study revealed that people who use Facebook more than once per day were shown to be anxious or depressed 12% more often than those who used the site less frequently – so in this case, limiting social media usage is definitely a good idea.
6. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
It can be challenging to navigate the tricky road of crushes on a close friend. It can also feel like you’ve “messed up” a perfectly happy friendship if you decide to have those feelings of interest acknowledged.
You didn’t intend for this to happen, but it just happened, and you get upset about it rather than feel excited. While you shouldn’t feel bad for having a crush on your best friend, it’s important to take control of these reactions.
7. Don’t get jealous.
You might be shocked to find that your friend is interested in someone else romantically, but it’s important not to let it ruin your friendship.
Even when things start heating up between the two of them, you should put your feelings aside and remind yourself that you’re just friends.
It’s understandably difficult to see the bright side if you have strong feelings for them, but if you want to maintain your friendship, appreciate the feelings and desires of your friend.
8. Remember why you’re friends.
It’s important to remember that this person is a special friend in your life. Do you really want to ruin that? If you respect them, care for them, and have great memories with them, then what’s the point of trying to go against that?
If you really love them as a friend, make a list of all the reasons why you’re such good friends. Focus on why keeping this person as a friend is a good idea.
You can focus on the qualities that make them a good friend or how they’ve helped to form your own personality, but if you really want some help writing this list, think about times you’ve appreciated them being there for you in ways that no one else could be.
9. Don’t fantasize.
It’s not uncommon to lie awake at night thinking about your crush and imagining what it would be like to date them. You may have even cried over the thought of never being with them – which can cause you to lose sleep obsessing over them.
But here’s some news: The more power you give this person by dreaming up these fantasies or crying yourself to sleep every night, the stronger they’ll become in reality.
One way to beat those pesky thoughts is by refocusing your attention. Instead of letting yourself get lost in the gutter, take a step back and realize what’s important to you.
Maybe it’s spending time with family or engaging in hobbies like painting or cooking. No matter what it may be, focus on other things for a while!
10. Try dating again – and find someone else.
If you’re constantly thinking about your friend as a potential romantic partner, it might be time to start looking for someone who can provide that type of relationship.
Rather than living in a fantasy world and waiting for something that may never happen, it’s better to move on and find someone else who won’t damage your friendship and sees you in a romantic way.
11. Get professional help.
If this issue is really damaging your mental health and well-being, you might want to seek professional help from a therapist. Doing this means getting advice from an impartial third party while also getting some feelings off your chest.
Seeking professional intervention when our mental state begins to decline is critical to maintaining a healthy emotional well-being. A therapist listens with compassion and won’t judge; we’re able to speak freely about what’s going on inside our heads without fear of ridicule!
The last thing you want to do is bottle up negative emotions, and a professional will also teach you how to control your feelings in a healthy way.
12. Give it time.
It’s difficult when you’re trying to get over a crush on your best friend. It’s natural for these feelings to linger, but you need time and space in order to heal.
Give yourself some breathing room so that the feelings can truly die and allow you to move into something new – as friends again.
The key to getting over someone is moving on with your life – not mourning what could have been. This might seem like a platitude, but giving yourself some space will do wonders in terms of getting over your crush.
We’re all scared of the unknown – but take a deep breath, and remember that this will be better in the long run.
13. Stay busy.
It’s easy to get stuck in a negative pattern of thinking when you’re not happy or dealing with mixed feelings. In order to break this, it’s important to stay busy to feel more productive.
You can add responsibilities at work by asking for more tasks from your boss and take up new hobbies, like creating pieces of art or trying a spot of gardening. All of these ideas will help keep you focused on things other than your crush.
It can feel like this person is your whole world – but leaning on other people or activities will help you get through this difficult time. You don’t want to miss out on life’s special moments because of a crush.
14. Tell them how you feel.
If you’ve tried everything else, this may be your best bet. However, make sure you don’t confess your feelings to a friend that already has a partner. Doing this shows no respect to their relationship, which is not what a good friend does.
In fact, doing this will change the dynamic of your friendship/relationship forever. It’s a huge risk!
Here are some tools that’ll help, should you decide to reveal your feelings:
- 20 Sweet and Easy Ways to Show a Guy You Like Him
- 17 Adorable Signs Your Male Friend Has Feelings For You
- 25 Surefire Signs That Your Crush Likes You Too
Once you get clarification about your friend’s feelings, you can move forward with this person or not. Sure, things will be different forever, but at least you gave it a chance!
15. Write in a journal.
If you don’t want to tell anyone, it can help to write your feelings in a journal. Say whatever is on your mind at the time or write all of your feelings into a letter that you’ll never send.
With honesty as your only goal, examine all aspects of the relationship that you’re questioning. This includes things that annoy or frustrate you about the person alongside any positives that you may not have appreciated before.
There’s no need to worry about anyone else reading this, so you can be 100% truthful with your thoughts.
The Bottom Line
If you’re crushing on your best friend, don’t worry! Lots of people have been where you are right now and were able to come out on the other side.
Take heart in knowing that there’s nothing unusual about having feelings for a friend; it’s a natural human emotion!
The truth is that time will play a big role in your life. It might not seem like it now because you’re feeling emotional and passionate – but those feelings are likely to go away.