Long-distance relationships are hard, and can take some time to get used to – especially if you’ve been together regularly in person, and now you’re apart.
Whether you’re a few hours away, in different cities, states, countries, or even continents, long-distance relationships are complicated – but are worth it, if you can learn how to stick to them.
You might feel like you have a void to fill, and like you want to message and interact with them whenever you can – but the truth is, there’s probably nothing to update him about, and he may become a bit irritated.
When you’re always available and message him all the time, you’re not giving him the chance to miss you. It’s time to break the cycle, and let him make the first contact move.
Read on to find out how to do just that.
Table of Contents
1. Listen more than speak.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you need to accept that you both have your own separate lives to get on with. That means you won’t know what he’s up to all the time, and it’s normal for him to have other things to do when you’re not there.
It’s also normal for you to become a bit disconnected the more time you spend away from each other. One great way to build your bond and get him to connect back with you is by asking him questions about his day and listening to him.
By simply being there, listening, and empathizing, he may be more willing to open up about his good moments, frustrations, and sad times over the call. It’s essential to be ready to listen to him whenever he needs to share his emotions. Remember to always react positively, and he’ll be appreciative of your happy attitude.
This will remind him of the good times he’s had with you, and why you’re the one. It’ll also give him more reason to start talking to you, as he’ll miss your presence.
2. Have an end goal.
It’s crucial that your long-distance relationship eventually have an endpoint, meaning that the long-distance part is temporary – and in time, you’ll be together permanently. Otherwise, the relationship will ultimately (and unfortunately) fizzle out.
The truth is, it’s challenging to establish a bond or connection if there’s no end in sight, even more so if you don’t see each other in person regularly.
Set time to simply meet up, and create a schedule. Having time away and then being with each other will spark excitement and make the long-distance relationship worthwhile.
Make the most of the time you do meet each other, create new memories, and have fun. Doing this will undoubtedly allow him to be reminded of why he’s with you, crave the next visit, and miss you even more!
If you both can’t commit to frequent visits, don’t expect too much from the relationship. Keep it casual so that there are fewer unrealistic expectations, and your needs will both be met.
3. It’s all about self-love!
You’re both living your own lives now, right? Well, it’s true – and if you’ve both agreed on an endpoint, then you know it’s temporary for you both. Therefore, it’s important to enjoy your downtime while it lasts.
You have time to pursue things you want to do without having to make time for someone else. Learn a language or instrument, take a course you’ve always wanted to do, get back into a workout routine and bring out the most of your body. The best project you can ever work on is yourself.
Once you start doing the things you love, you’ll realize that time will soon fly by. Your next meeting will be sooner than you think, and the time spent apart will be nearly forgotten. Plus, you’ll have become stronger – and more confident in yourself!
Investing in yourself is actually a top Way to Instantly Become More Attractive to Men. He’ll know that you can live your life and get the most out of it without having to be dependent on anyone else. Plus, because you’ll be working on being the best version of yourself, he’ll probably be even more in love when you see him next, as you’ll be ready to give it your all.
It’s also important not to completely ignore your partner either. You should still make him a priority and take time to call and text him, instead of being completely mysterious and leaving him guessing. If he feels the effort in the long-distance relationship is not equal, he may lose interest.
4. Maintain the right amount of communication.
In any relationship, long-distance or not, communication is key. You’re not an acquaintance, you’re their other half – and that involves some effort from your side. While you can’t be there to show effort in its physical form, the least you can do is communicate with them.
- Depending on where you’re both located, set up a schedule of when you speak to each other. That could be in the morning, evening or every couple of days.
- Choose an appropriate method of communication;, such as phone or video call.
- Have long and engaging conversations where you both talk about your future, play games, discuss vacation plans, and more.
- Sending him hot selfies, deliver gifts, text him good morning or good night, and just make him miss you in general.
By communicating and making your presence felt without being overbearing or nagging, he’ll be bound to miss you and want to see you even more.
5. Find happiness in yourself.
Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or not, a man shouldn’t be the go-to source for your happiness. You should already be happy with your life and in yourself – so if you’re seeking happiness from your partner, then that’s a major red flag.
Everyone gets enjoyment from the little things in a relationship, such as cuddling, kissing, and watching movies together – but you have to be happy on your own too! When you’re not together, try your hardest to replace those small moments of happiness with something else.
Take ownership and be responsible for your own happiness. If you choose not to, you could become too dependent on him, which could actually make him unhappy. Looking inwards to find happiness will also help develop yourself and make you stronger.
6. Be sexually active with him.
One of the most important things that makes any relationship exclusive and intimate is obviously sex. Just because you’re far away and speaking to him through a screen doesn’t mean you can’t leave each other feeling satisfied!
Everyone has urges; it goes back to our primal instincts, and it’s perfectly normal for all of us to crave some sexual pleasure! Present him with some opportunities for him to imagine hot, steamy scenarios between the two of you.
- Send him some sexts
- Nude photos are always helpful
- Have phone sex
- Tell him the wet dreams you had about him
- Tell him the things you’re thinking about doing together
Get creative and add some intensity to the relationship; you never know what you could both achieve. This will make him miss you more and give him an intense desire to want to be with you.
7. Self assure yourself
Confidence is sexy – and jealousy is just ugly. It’s only natural to feel a bit insecure when you’re so far away from him. But, it’s important to remain positive and make sure not to reflect the insecurities in your conversations with him.
The moment you show you’re insecure, it becomes really unattractive – and he’ll become more distant. It’s up to you to remind yourself of the good times and the love he feels for you in the relationship while he’s away. To learn how to trust him, check out 6 ways of how to trust your boyfriend.
While doing long distance, you must remind yourself how lucky he is to have you as his partner. When you feel good and secure in yourself, you won’t need to look to him for constant validation.
8. Surprise him.
Sometimes people have different love languages, but no matter what your partner’s love language is, he won’t be disappointed by a surprise. Send him delivery of his favorite candies to his house, or surprise him with a visit!
Sometimes the routine of relationships can become predictable, and can get quite monotonous. If you mix things up, you’ll keep him on his feet, and add a spark to the relationship to keep him excited.
9. Be honest with him.
Relationships are built off trust and loyalty. If you’re out drinking with the girls or a mixed group, tell him. If someone tries to hit on you when you’re out, tell him that too! You may think the truth will hurt, but he’ll appreciate your honesty a lot more if you tell him what happened.
Similarly, it’ll only strengthen your communication skills, and he will be reminded of how much of a wonderful partner you are.
The Bottom Line
Long-distance relationships take a lot of effort from both sides. However, you definitely don’t want to be the only one putting in the effort by sending him lots of texts and calls all the time. You need to give him space to miss you.
It’s equally as important that you’re there to communicate with him, are honest in your communication, spontaneous, and have an end goal to your relationship.
Finally, when doing a long-distance relationship, it’s important to invest in yourself and learn to be happy without him – but you should also know when to call it quits.