Want to be in charge of your relationship?
Then maybe you should consider entering a female led relationship (FLR).
This type of relationship sees a reversal of the traditional gender roles. Basically, the woman takes the dominant role, while the man takes the submissive role.
Now, this type of relationship style won’t suit everyone, but the rewards are there to enjoy for many.
Let’s dive deeper into how to make a FLR work…
Table of Contents
What is a Female-Led Relationship?
As the name suggests, a female-led relationship sees the woman take a dominant role, whereas the man takes a more submissive role.
These gender roles can apply to every aspect of your relationship, or simply act as a foundation for it. This is a decision that each couple has to agree to.
At its core, a FLR includes the following:
- The woman initiates dates, including the first
- The relationship status is the woman’s decision
- The woman may take a dominant lead in the bedroom
- It’s the woman’s role to propose
- The woman financially supports the household, while the man stays at home with at the kids
The above bullets may seem extreme to some, so you can skip a few rules if you would rather a more toned-down FLR. For example, the woman may be in charge of the relationship direction, while each partner still shares household responsibility.
Most relationships don’t start with a female lead. In fact, a male-led relationship usually takes control in the first few months. It is only after discussing a relationship that a female-led relationship will start.
We can’t stress enough that there are no rules with a FLR. Just because you have a FLR, it doesn’t mean that the woman must take control in the bedroom.
The Different Types of Female Led Relationships
It varies on a case-by-case basis, but there are four main types of female-led relationships. The following information may help you in discovering the type of a FLR that you want to be part of.
This type of FLR sees the man asking the woman to take partial control of the relationship. As the man has requested the relationship changes, the woman isn’t the only one in control of the relationship and she has only a low amount of total authority.
This is one of the most common types of FLR. It involves a woman as the leader of the relationship, where she controls the majority of decisions. The man usually likes this dynamic as he has less overall responsibility. In moderate female-led relationships, boundaries are set for how far the woman’s dominance will go.
Here, the woman is the clear leader of the relationship. The traditional gender roles are completely reversed, which sees the woman as the main earner, while the man becomes a house-husband. Typically, the woman dominates the man during bedroom antics.
In this type of FLR, the woman has extreme control and servitude over the man. In fact, all aspects of the relationship will be controlled by the woman. The domination may lead to the woman controlling the man’s own schedule and possessions. This type of relationship can even be seen as abusive by outside parties.
What are the Benefits of Female-Led Relationships?
As with all types of relationships, a FLR comes with advantages and disadvantages. We will start by looking at the benefits of being in a FLR.
Usually, the man calls all the shots when dating starts. In a FLR, the woman has more control over where the date is, what time the date will start, and even when the two of you become exclusive or official.
This is an absolute game-changer, especially for women who feel pressured to go too fast. It’s also great news to women who are no strangers to calling the shots at work or in life. No longer are you forced to wait for the man to make a move.
In Touch with His Feminine Side
Men will be more comfortable about showing their vulnerability, rather than forced to “stay strong” at all times. This is a big problem in today’s world. The two of you should be free to discuss anything on either of each other’s minds, instead of bottling up emotions, which will improve mental health.
Your Needs Will Be Met
Men in female-led relationships are happy to step back and allow their partner to reach their personal and professional goals.
For example, if you want to relocate to earn a work promotion, then he is coming along for the ride.
Traditionally, the above example wouldn’t be possible. Your goal would likely have to take a back seat for the future.
No woman wants to wait another 10 years before realizing their goals. But you don’t have to wait with a FLR, as long as your partner wants you to succeed for the benefit of you both.
You should get want you want in the bedroom too. Remember, you come first, so make sure he doesn’t…
What are the Negatives of Being in an FLR?
Now, let’s look at why a FLR isn’t always the best idea…
Most Men Won’t Agree
This type of relationship will be a surprise to most men when you bring up the topic. Most men won’t even entertain the idea.
This fact significantly reduces your options in the world of dating. As such, it will likely take much longer to find the man of your dreams.
Can Lead to Toxic Behavior
Female-led relationships can lead to the woman abusing their new-found control. It’s important that men can still voice their opinion or feel comfortable talking about certain issues.
By all means, allow your man to support you, but be careful not to abuse his laid-back attitude. The relationship label shouldn’t affect equality.
Difficult To Go Backwards
Once a relationship dynamic has been chosen, it can be hard going back to the ‘before days’. For example, you may love a FLR when you’re 23, but what about when you’re 42 with a small child?
In such a case, your partner may love the dynamic, fully expecting to be a stay-at-home dad to his son. He has every reason to be annoyed, as he signed up for a female-led relationship, and now the rules have changed.
Why Do Men Want Female-Led Relationships?
It may surprise you to know that some men are actively looking for a female-led relationship – But why it this?
Men have a lot of pressure on their shoulders. They are responsible for financial success, fixing items, and protecting their partner at all times.
A female-led relationship removes a lot of the stress and responsibility that comes with modern life. In such case, the man loves letting another woman take charge and make the decisions. You may find that many “mommy’s boys” show this type of desire and need.
Do Female Led Relationships Work?
Yes, female-led relationships work well.
Would they have worked in 1940? Nope.
But things are different now. Today’s women are strong, successful, and highly educated. The world is also a lot more accepting and open to this type of relationship.
Female-led relationships won’t work for everyone though, as you first need to find a man who will agree to the arrangement, and that isn’t a simple task.
We will now jump into the different ways you can make your FLR a success.
FLR Work Better with Beta Males
Men who have success in the dating world are usually confident and successful. This group of men can be described as alpha males.
Here’s the thing – alpha males don’t like to play the submissive role while you lead the relationship. There will be a clash of masculine energy, with neither one of you willing to back down.
The solution is to find a man with beta male tendencies. He should be willing to prioritize your needs and support your life goals. He will also naturally take on the submissive role.
Although your FLR is more likely to succeed with a beta male, there are cases where an alpha male can work too. You just need to use a different technique.
You see, masculine energy involves a need to complete goals and earn rewards. As such, you can motivate an alpha male to behave in a certain way, which just so happens to be submissive behavior.
The secret is for your man to make his goal to please you and support your journey together. This way, he can use his alpha qualities, like confidence, to support your success.
Good Communication is Essential
It goes without saying that every relationship in the world requires good communication. With that said, a FLR requires communication on a far more extreme level. ‘Good’ just won’t cut it.
This type of relationship is not common, so it’s understandable for one or both partners to have many questions about how things work. It’s important that everyone feels comfortable with asking questions. This will limit any problems in the future. Over time, a FLR will work on autopilot, but excellent communication is vital from the get-go.
Also, a FLR doesn’t mean that only your opinion matters. The dominant structure of your relationship shouldn’t be an excuse to not compromise over certain issues.
It’s crucial to answer the following questions:
- Who is the primary caregiver?
- Does one person take care of household duties?
- Is the FLR a secret or can it be common knowledge?
- What is the bedroom dynamic?
- Does the FLR change if a child enters the picture?
Although this can seem intimidating to discuss with your partner, it is crucial for a successful and healthy relationship. Failure to discuss these topics can lead to arguments and even break-ups.
The complicated nature of a FLR is a benefit, not a curse. You see, traditional relationships tend to skip the beginning communication stage, which is vital for building a relationship built on solid foundations.
How to Enter a Female Led Relationship?
Choose a Beta Male
Most strong women want a man that has alpha male qualities, like confidence and success. However, if you want a female-led relationship, you may want to think again before choosing the typical alpha male.
Female-led relationships are far more effective when the man isn’t an alpha male. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but it is generally the case that an alpha man won’t be okay with taking the submissive role.
But what does a beta male look like? You can expect the following:
- Emotionally sensitive to comments
- Failure to fight for his beliefs
- Struggles to complete a task without guidance
Typically, these aren’t attractive traits. However, if you are okay with a man who possesses some of these traits, then a FLR is worth looking into.
We will now discuss how you can attract this type of man. However, please note that the approach will change if you want an alpha male.
Show Your Dominance Early
It’s important to establish dominance early on in the relationship. In fact, you will want to show your dominance from the very first meeting or discussion. Doing so will allow you to meet a man who is receptive to this type of relationship.
You can do this by highlighting your masculine qualities, which can involve communicating via the following statements:
- “My goals come first, which means I weigh up the pros and cons of every choice ”
- “I started a business when I was 24”
- “Looking for a guy who isn’t afraid to support my aspirations”
The skill is to not look overly picky or negative with your comments. The goal is to effectively communicate that a FLR is the only type of relationship that matches your current lifestyle.
Take Control During Bedroom Antics
What you do in the bedroom is completely personal and unique to the two of you as a couple. However, a female-dominant bedroom can massively improve and maintain a FLR.
How To Establish a FLR Relationship When Dating?
When looking to build a FLR, you’ll want to use your masculine traits, rather than your feminine wiles. If you’re unsure of how to do that, here are some traits that will assert your dominance and masculinity:
- Take control of decisions
- Confident about thoughts and feelings
- Vocal about issues
- Provide resources
- Plan dates
Using these traits during the dating phase won’t work with every man. In fact, these traits may cause a clash of masculine energy. However, you will also attract men that are happy to take a back foot, which can lead to long-term FLR success.