In today’s times, we’re glued to our phones more than ever. It’s practically like an extra bodily organ!
We take our smartphones everywhere – to the bedroom, to work, and even to the toilet. Well, maybe not everyone – but we reckon a lot of you do!
Most of us who use smartphones engage in social media and messaging people. Texts and DMs are commonly sent across Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Whatsapp, Viber, and many more platforms.
Messaging has been the go-to activity for so many of us – and many people prefer messaging over calling.
There’s just something so cathartic about sending and receiving messages with emojis and receiving them – but one thing that’s not relaxing, but quite the opposite, is double texting. Read on to find out more about it – and whether or not it’s OK to do!
What is Double Texting?
Just like the name suggests, double texting involves messaging someone twice or more before they’ve sent you a response.
Have you done this recently? If you’re not sure, just look at your phone: See if your messages are blue – and if so, how many messages are there? If there more blue messages (i.e., yours) over white or green ones, then it’s most likely you’re double-texting too much.
The worst part is, even though you’ve done it and can identify yourself as double texting, triple texting, or even more – it can spiral.
Soon enough, it can end up out of control – and next thing you know, you’ve plummeted: there’s a pile-up of messages, calls, and everything else, all from your end.
The scary thing is, this can turn into a bad habit if not dealt with properly – and you might even do it to more than one person. Even worse, if you’re double texting someone you love, you could be easily pushing them away.
Trust us; you don’t want to be looking clingy or needy at all!
Why Do People Double Text?
Even if it doesn’t sound like you, the truth is, anyone and everyone can easily get caught up in double texting without even realizing it until they’re caught in a sticky situation, and by that point, it might be too late.
In fact, there are many moments in which you might double text, which include:
- You’re feeling impatient.
As humans, we can often become a bit impatient while anticipating a reply from another person as soon as we send a message. When they don’t respond, you think it might be easy to give them another ping and send a quick message to them – just so they feel like they have to respond.
- You’re scared of being rejected.
If you’re an overthinker, you might end up sending multiple texts to try and impress your partner or the person you’re dating. At the moment you’re sending that text, you might be thinking the receiver isn’t responding because they’re judging your first text.
They could very well be busy doing other things, not judging the message you sent originally!
- You feel a lack of options.
You might find yourself double-texting someone when you feel like you have no other options left to count on, i.e., there aren’t many other people out there you want to date or are interested in. Therefore, you might pool all your efforts into texting them and in hopes of a quicker response.
- You could be second-guessing yourself.
We’ve all been there. We’ve taken a lot of time to devise an epic text full of wit and humor and hit send – only a few seconds or minutes after sending, we start to doubt ourselves – and try to send another text to rectify the previous one.
- You don’t feel in control.
You might have been the one receiving all the texts at first, but now the game has changed. Perhaps now it’s turned the other way, and the person you’re dating takes longer to reply – making you feel less in control.
As a result, you think messaging him more will try to help you gain the control back – but it’ll only make it worse.
Why is Double Texting Bad?
1. You’ll end up driving the other person away.
Sometimes in relationships, you have to push and pull – or as the famous love guru Matthew Hussey says, “test and invest”. This means you can’t offer yourself on a platter by always calling/texting as soon as you feel like it.
If you’re constantly double texting your other half, they’ll just find you ridiculously clingy and want to shy away from you. You will also give the impression to the other person that you don’t have the time to think for yourself and do anything else.
In fact, this is one of 11 Things Men Hate About Women – so you definitely want to avoid doing it!
2. You’re handing the control over to them.
When you’re in the early days of courting, it’s a balancing act. Even after being together for a long time, you still have moments where you want the upper hand.
As soon as you send more than one text in a row and start doing so frequently, you’re handing back control to the other person. They’ll know they have your emotions and feelings in hand and have the power to control you at their fingertips.
Check out our guide to being a More Dominant Female in a Relationship, and learn how to deal with a controlling man so you can take back the control you’ve lost.
3. You increase your desperation.
Sometimes we double text because we want to have that contact with another person, even if it’s just to speak to them. However, that need for affection can come across as too desperate.
The longer you don’t have a reply, the more desperate you become in hopes of gaining some clarity – resulting in more texting on your end. This heightens your desperation and also makes it extremely obvious to him/her that you’re desperate and can’t live without their attention.
These are just a few insights into why double texting is bad; if you continue to do it, you might cause them to want to distance themselves from you and become less attracted.
Don’t worry too much though; double texting isn’t bad all of the time.
When is Double Texting Effective?
Sometimes you’ll be in a situation where it’s completely ok to double text. Ideally, you should double text no sooner than every 3-5 days, if you have to.
It’s essential you don’t double text when they’re online, and they’ve seen your message, though. If you plan on double texting him or her, aim to do the following:
Space Out Your Messages
Always remember to consider why the other person might not be responding to your messages. It could be a genuine reason – like they were in the shower, taking a nap, out with friends, or anything else.
If you’re going to double text, don’t do it on the same day. Wait at least 24 hours, and message again – but in a subtle, non-desperate way.
Treat the Message Like a Ping
You don’t want the other person you’re messaging to feel like they’re being suffocated. When you do text the other person more than once, try to do it as a gentle reminder.
You don’t want to push them or for them to feel like you’re trying to control them.
Make a Joke Out of It
If you plan on double texting and they’ve not responded to your first message, do it in a joking kind of way. Add some satire comment to follow up with, or provide them with a challenge. That way, they’ll feel like you’re trying to have fun with them as opposed to nagging them.
Double Texted? Here’s What You Can Do
There’s nothing worse than double texting and feeling the guilt of doing so. In fact, it’s in these guilt-ridden moments you may have the urge to message again, and even triple text. Don’t do that, though! It’s the worst thing to do. Instead, read on for some quick tips that’ll help you “kick the habit”:
1. Accept your mistake.
The first part to stop double texting from escalating even further is owning up to your mistake and accepting it. You can do this by acknowledging it and saying your mistake out loud.
Say, “I’ve just double texted, and I hold myself accountable for it. I will deal with the no response later.” This will allow you to hold yourself accountable and make you less likely to text the person further.
2. Don’t text or call.
Eventually, if the other person is interested in you or cares about you, they’ll take their time to follow up with another message. When they do eventually reply, don’t be moody or act bothered about the delayed response – this will just push them away even further!
If you feel like they aren’t genuine in messaging you, learn your lesson and never double text them again.
Also, if you’re still hung up on them, find out what you can do if a guy doesn’t call or text you for a week.
3. Keep positive.
Always stay positive, and never take things personally. If they don’t reply to you, that’s their fault and not yours.
You might want to scold yourself after deciding to double text them, but don’t beat yourself up too much. It’s important that you are you – and that you do what feels right!
Similarly, if they’re into you, they might find it nice that you’re attracted and excited to talk to them – but there are other 20 sweet and easy ways to let a guy know you like him.
The Bottom Line
As humans, we’ve all pretty much double texted at some point in our lives; it’s not that odd. It’s important that when you do double text, you use it as a lesson and don’t do it too much to push someone else away.
If you’ve caught yourself double texting to try and win over a man, STOP. Check out our guide to 11 Foolproof Ways to Make a Man Chase You Through Text for some tips on winning him over – and getting rid of your bad habit.