Do you find yourself yearning for a romantic relationship? We get it. All of us have experienced the craving for love and affection at one point in our lives.
But, this desire can be so strong that it actually prevents you from finding what you really need, and it can have a negative effect on your mental health.
With the rise in dating apps and almost everything around us focused on love, it is no wonder we can’t escape the feeling of being alone. But how can we stop craving a relationship? Is there a way?
Keep reading to find out how.
1. Keep Seeing People
While it may sound ironic, you don’t need to stop going on dates just because you don’t want a serious relationship. Just don’t go into all of your dates looking for “fairytale love”.
When you’re not looking for a committed relationship from a date, there will be a lot less pressure on you – so you can got at a slow pace, be your true self, and have a lot more fun.
With nothing riding on the success of your date, you’ll also be able to see things objectively and spot any red flags. This is a huge advantage that saves a lot of pain in the long run.
Just be sure to communicate the fact that you’re not looking for a serious relationship. If you don’t, you’ll likely break many hearts.
2. Be Picky
Many of us fall into the trap of falling for the first person who gives us attention. We might accidently ignore red flags and get into relationships with people we shouldn’t. You can stop yourself by getting pickier about the people you spend time with.
Don’t let your yearning lower your standards. Being picky will automatically reduce the number of people you date – and if you do find someone that meets your standards, at least you’ll know you’ve found someone special.
Think about what you want from your future partner, and then ask whether they are good enough for you or not – even if you’ve already been on multiple dates.
This will help you figure out whether you’re just looking for any relationship or if this person is extra special. If you’re not 100% satisfied with the person you’re dating, don’t be afraid to end things and move on.
3. Focus on Personal Development
A big problem that many of us face, is that instead of improving who we are we seek the approval of others, and try to fill a void. It’ll be easy to stop yourself from wanting a romantic relationship when you’re too busy working on yourself and focused on meeting your goals.
The more you improve your own life, the less you’ll need to rely on a partner. In fact, any future relationship will be an added bonus in your life – and won’t be your life completely. When you’re ready for a relationship, you’ll be in the best possible place to enjoy it and be a great partner.
Personal development can include:
- Joining a gym
- Learning a new language
- Starting your own side-hustle
- Fixing something that’s been bothering you for a while
4. Socialize More
If you want to get into a relationship because you’re feeling lonely, reduce this feeling by seeing your friends and family more often.
It’s amazing to be able to relax and be your true self with loved ones. Whether you see them to talk, ask for advice, have drinks, watch a film, or just enjoy a hug, remember that you’re already loved and appreciated.
One day you’ll experience romantic love too. But, it’s important to acknowledge that you already have love in your life. This will remove any desperation, and will help you realize that seeking attention from a new relationship just isn’t needed.
5. Remove Dating Apps
Deleting any dating apps from your phone is the quickest and easiest way to kill any temptations. After all, being a few swipes away from a potential partner is hard to resist.
While you don’t have stop dating, deleting the dating apps can sometimes be the only way to stop wanting a relationship. It’s a good idea to only use the dating apps when you are ready to be in a relationship again.
Fortunately, these apps can be paused – which means you won’t lose any matches if you want to stop swiping. Alternatively, you can just remove the app from your phone, without deleting your dating app account.
6. Stop Thinking About Past Relationships
Many of us think about past relationships as amazing experiences with no weaknesses. But, the more we put relationships on a pedestal, the more we immediately want to enter a new one. We think about those great feelings, and instantly want to relieve them again.
The truth is that all relationships have their ups and downs; it’s virtually impossible to have a relationship with no shortcomings.
Don’t fantasize about amazing memories from past relationships. Remembering the bad times as well will make you less desperate to enter a new relationship.
7. Fill the Void
Take the time to figure out:
- WHY you want a relationship?
- What do you GAIN from a relationship?
- What does a relationship give you that you currently don’t have?
Once you’ve figured out what’s missing, you can fill the void on your own. This could mean having dinner with a friend, cuddling with a new pet, buying a gift for yourself, inviting friends around for movie night, or starting your dream business.
It doesn’t matter what you do; the point is that the void is being filled with something (although it would be helpful if the activity was something that added value to your life). When you realize that you already have affection and support in your life, it will kill any strong desire to enter a relationship.
8. Understand the Meaning of Love
It’s hard to escape love and romance. It’s everywhere! Love is thrown in our face on a daily basis, and it’s something we’re all told to strive for.
This leaves us with a burning desire to experience society’s idea of “love” – but that isn’t what love is.
True love is a decision to make an effort every day.
Many people watch movies, and give up when things aren’t as exciting or when the spark fades. They go into a relationship with an idealized view of love, and quickly discover that love takes work.
When you understand that love isn’t this perfect thing that solves all problems, it becomes easier to not crave it so deeply.
9. Focus on Your Career Goals
One of the best ways to keep yourself busy and distracted is by focusing on your career – especially since it will directly benefit your life as well.
Having a goal will keep you working and striving to achieve it every day. In fact, there may not be time to even think about your lack of relationship.
Put some extra time into your job, try to win that promotion, or attempt to set a record earning month in your business. Just go for it!
10. Give It Time.
Time heals all wounds. If you’ve just exited a relationship and are craving some love and attention, just know that time is on your side.
The more time you spend on your own, the more comfortable you’ll become. Although it may hurt when you see other couples, this feeling will fade in time -just trust the process.
In fact, many people end up realizing that they never wanted a relationship in the first place – but just liked the idea of being in one.
11. Remember, Single Life Can Be Amazing
Society tells us that relationships should be our main goal in life, but it doesn’t have to be. In fact, many of your non-single friends might even be jealous of your freedom!
You might enjoy being single more than being in a relationship, but your mindset is what’s holding you back from enjoying single life to its fullest.
Being in a relationship means you’re always thinking about how your partner is feeling, what they’re doing, and more. Being single means you aren’t always forced to consider someone else’s feelings with every action you take. Simply put, you have the freedom to do what you want.
Want to go out and dance with someone? Want to have a weekend to yourself? Being single means you are in control of every part of your life. So for now, enjoy your freedom and make the most of what single life has to offer.
Final Thoughts
The love and attention that comes with a relationship is addictive for all of us. But, that doesn’t mean it’s healthy to always need to be in a relationship.
The tips above can help reduce the need to be in a relationship. The number one rule is to think about what you want, and acknowledge that you probably already have it in your life if you look a bit harder.
True love is more likely to enter your life when you aren’t desperate to receive it. When you change your mindset, you’ll be in a better position to experience genuine connection and love.
