Dealing or living with a narcissist is often a stressful and challenging road, even if you believe yourself to be mentally and emotionally strong.
The narcissist is extremely manipulative, charismatic, and great and homing in on weak spots they perceive in others.
If you are ever surrounded by a narcissist for any reason, you may wonder why they tend to talk in the third person, even if they don’t do so all of the time.
Typically, a narcissist will talk aloud in the third person to demonstrate just how highly they think of themselves, even when in public and in front of others.
While the idea of talking about yourself in the third person may seem off-putting and embarrassing, a narcissist will see nothing wrong with it.
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What are some common characteristics of a narcissist?
Spotting a narcissist is not always easy, although it is much easier once you are familiar with the defining characteristics that most narcissists have.
Some of the most common characteristics that you are likely to encounter when engaging or dealing with a narcissist might include:
- Selfishness: The narcissistic individual is known for being noticeably more selfish than other individuals who do not exhibit narcissistic tendencies and behaviors. A narcissist will seek self-serving pursuits over those that benefit others in their lives, even close family members, spouses, and children of their own.
- Self-driven: Many narcissists are self-driven and extremely motivated or ambitious, allowing them to easily climb ladders in the workforce as they pave their way through the world.
- Arrogant: While a narcissist may feel as though they are simply confident in themselves, they will often appear arrogant and self-centered to those on the outside. In many instances, a narcissist will remain blissfully unaware of this and how others view them until they are confronted with their actions and behaviors head-on.
- Oblivious: Another defining characteristic of many individuals who are narcissistic is their seeming ability to remain oblivious to everything and everyone else around them. For a narcissist, it can be difficult to keep their attention or focus on another individual if it does not serve their own interests or pursuits.
- Cunning: You may also notice that individuals who exhibit narcissistic behavior rarely feel bad for doing so, even when it is at the expense of others. A narcissist may come off as extremely cunning and emotionless at times, as they are typically thinking of their own goals and pursuits, rather than considering the feelings or emotions of those around them.
- Lack of empathy: Many narcissists may find it difficult to empathize with others, even if they pretend to feel sorry for someone else. Typically, a narcissist may pretend to feel sorry for others while not feeling or experiencing empathy whatsoever, as they are too focused on themselves and their own goals and life pursuits.
Can someone be narcissistic without having Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?
Yes. In fact, many individuals across all age ranges, genders, and cultures can experience narcissistic personality traits and behaviors.
It is possible for just about anyone to exhibit narcissistic behaviors in the right scenario and under the proper circumstances.
Individuals who have been raised by narcissists or who have experience around those with narcissistic personalities are much more likely to exhibit narcissistic behaviors around others themselves.
When will a narcissist talk about themselves in the third person?
If you spend enough time around a narcissist, you may begin to notice that they do not shy away from talking about themselves in the third person.
While this may strike you and others as odd, it is not uncommon for those who have NPD, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, to do so without thinking twice.
A narcissist is most likely to begin talking about themselves in the third person when they are telling a story about themselves or even speaking in public in front of others.
They will especially not shy away from the opportunity to speak about themselves in the third person when they are doing so to build themselves up or to compliment themselves in some way or another.
Why do narcissists think so highly of themselves?
Narcissistic individuals appear to think extremely highly of themselves and may come off with an inflated sense of confidence and self-esteem, especially whenever they are in front of others or even in public.
However, many narcissists typically struggle with insecurity or the inability to live up to their own standards and expectations, which results in the projection of overconfidence and arrogance.
Many individuals who exhibit narcissistic behaviors and personality traits have either been raised by parents who also struggle with NPD or have been surrounded by others who display narcissistic behavioral traits.
Manipulation, lying, and having a self-serving attitude are all common traits that are carried by most narcissists, regardless of age or gender.
Getting to the bottom of why an individual thinks so highly of themselves typically requires plenty of concentrated therapy and a willingness of the individual to want to heal and get better.
Is it normal to talk about yourself in the third person?
It is not typically considered normal to talk about oneself in the third person unless someone is doing so purposefully and with intent, while telling a story, referencing someone else’s words, or even speaking professionally.
When an individual makes a habit of talking about themselves in the third person, there may be deeper issues at play.
In some instances, those who speak about themselves in the third person are diagnosed with NPD or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
While it is not necessarily true that all individuals who speak about themselves in the third person have NPD, many people who have been formally diagnosed with NPD are more likely to exhibit these behaviors.
How do I know if I am surrounded by or living with a narcissist?
Knowing if you are living with a narcissist or if you are surrounded by one in your everyday life is not always a simple task.
Many narcissists are excellent at masking their narcissistic behaviors and tendencies when they do not serve them, including when they are around others such as friends, family members, and even their own spouses.
In order to know if you are living with a narcissist, you may need some time to observe the behaviors they exhibit and the type of narcissist tendencies they display over time.
While it is not always easy to spot or pinpoint narcissistic behavior, it is possible once you are familiar with what a narcissist is and how they can make their way into anyone’s life.
You may begin to notice that someone you live with who is narcissistic cannot stop thinking about themselves, even to the detriment of their own relationships with you and with children or other members of their family.
Narcissists think very highly of themselves and are not afraid to tell the world. They may appear obvious when bragging or building themselves up.
They may also appear overconfident, even if deep down they are weak and fragile inside.
What do I do if it bothers me that someone around me is talking about themselves in the third person?
Hearing someone constantly refer to themselves in the third person is not only off-putting, but it can quickly become annoying and grating.
If you are dating someone who refers to themselves in the third person, it may be best to discuss the matter in private to hear their thoughts and response on the matter first.
If someone is speaking about themselves in third-person non-stop and refuses to recognize this behavior, it may be best to cut ties and go your separate way.
Attempting to fix an individual who has a narcissistic personality and who is unwilling to work on improving themselves is often futile and can quickly become draining.
If someone will not stop referring to themselves in the third person, what can I do?
At times in life, others will exhibit behavior that you find irritating, annoying, and grating.
If someone is talking about themselves in the third person and you are uncomfortable or aggravated, it is best to simply remove yourself from the situation.
The situation becomes trickier when it is your sibling, parents, friends, co-worker, or even your significant other who begins exhibiting this behavior.
If someone you know begins to talk about themselves in the third person, you may need to step back to evaluate why they are doing what they are doing so you can speak to them directly about the matter.
It is important to note that even if you approach the subject as gently as possible, there is a chance that the person you are confronting about speaking about themselves in the third person may be oblivious or they may become offended.
Is there any way to get someone help who will not stop talking about themselves in the third person?
It may be possible to get someone help who will not stop talking about themselves in the third person, but this will often require the willingness and cooperation of the individual themselves.
When someone is struggling with NPD, it is not always possible for them to understand how they are coming off to others, even in public social situations.
Anyone struggling with narcissistic tendencies will need to be willing to face and confront their own issues head-on before any changes can occur.
If someone is interested in getting help for the narcissistic behaviors they exhibit and display in front of others, they can do so by attending individual counseling and group therapy sessions.
There are also specialized therapy programs designed for those who are struggling with NPD or with narcissistic tendencies in their everyday lives.
Can someone with NPD truly change?
Yes. Someone living with NPD or with narcissistic tendencies and behaviors can change if they truly want to and if they are able to recognize behaviors and actions that have been detrimental to their own relationships.
When someone with NPD is honest about their actions and how they affect and impact others, they can seek the assistance necessary to begin repairing their behaviors and relationships.
When dealing with a narcissist who refers to themselves in the third person, it is not always easy, and it can quickly cause you to feel uncomfortable if you are not expecting that behavior.
If you are familiar with what a narcissist does and how they are likely to express themselves, you can pinpoint when someone is genuinely attempting to distance themselves on purpose in a story and when someone is doing so due to narcissist tendencies.
While dealing with a narcissist in any capacity is not always easy, it is possible once you know what you are working with and how to approach the behavior they are demonstrating head-on.
