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How do I know my boyfriend is sensitive?
If you have a sensitive boyfriend, you might find yourself always having to explain yourself to him, constantly providing feedback, and overall having a difficult time getting your boyfriend to relax. He might just be more sensitive than others.
Having a sensitive boyfriend can lead to a difficult relationship if you don’t work to understand him and that he is simply just more sensitive than other people.
Being highly sensitized can be a sign of anxiety, heightened stress, or an anxious body type. Luckily, there are treatments for all these issues, and being sensitive doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker in a relationship.
To help you and your relationship, here are 20 tips to help you deal with a boyfriend who is highly sensitive.
1. Listen to his feelings
First and foremost, it’s important to listen to your boyfriend when he mentions his feelings, any stressors throughout the day, or anything else he needs to get off his chest. Listening to your boyfriend allows him to feel confident that your heart is in the right place and you’re a person he can come to when he becomes highly sensitized.
It’s not just highly-sensitized people that need to be heard in a relationship. In fact, studies have shown that one of the most important parts of a successful relationship is the ability of partners being able to listen to each other.
2. Validate his feelings
It’s not enough to just listen to your sensitive boyfriend. You must also be able to validate his feelings and be able to provide feedback if he asks for it. For instance, if your boyfriend is feeling stressed at work and thinks he was in the right about a situation, listen to and offer validation of his feelings.
This can be as simple as saying you did the right thing, or, maybe next time you’ll be able to handle it better. A little validation goes a long way in helping your boyfriend feel secure in himself – and in your relationship.
3. Make sex a priority
One of the most important (and fun) ways to make your sensitive boyfriend feel valued and less insecure is to make sex a priority! Sex is a great way for two people to bond, feel vulnerable around each other, and feel as if they’re truly connected.
Making sex a priority can help your relationship in so many ways, including making your sensitive boyfriend more confident in himself and in the relationship.
4. Make date nights all about him
Sex is great, but sometimes, a date night can be one of the best ways to help your boyfriend feel valued and appreciated. If he wants to go to a football or basketball game, go with him and make it fun!
Or, if your boyfriend wants to visit that new art gallery, why not tag along and show just how much you care about his interests? Making your boyfriend feel valued during date nights can help in creating a sense of confidence in the relationship.
5. Ask what he wants in the relationship
If your boyfriend is sensitive and you’re in the beginning stages of a relationship, it can be difficult for your boyfriend to speak up and make the relationship official.
From feeling insecure to feeling as if you aren’t ready for a serious relationship, your sensitive partner might feel too shy to ask what you want out of a relationship. Because of this, it’s important to ask your partner what they want out of the relationship, whether it’s a casual fling, steadily dating, or something more serious.
6. Set boundaries
You can set boundaries early on in a relationship without hurting your sensitive boyfriend’s feelings. In fact, setting boundaries is important not just for your boyfriend, but for you as well. If your boyfriend is sensitive and doesn’t like you going out so often with your friends, talking to ex-partners or male companions, or anything else, these are all important issues to address early on in the relationship.
7. Encourage sharing feelings
Men are often taught early on not to share their feelings – or else be considered less of a man. This is simply not true, and for your sensitive boyfriend, hiding their feelings can be catastrophic to themselves and to the relationship.
Encourage your boyfriend to open up about his true feelings, whether that’s anxiety, depression, or anything else that might be bothering him. If your boyfriend feels as if you hurt him and is holding on to that hurt, it’s not healthy for him to keep them bottled up inside. Bottling up emotions can eventually lead to anxiety or even a blowout.
Help your boyfriend by encouraging him to share his feelings often.
8. Don’t emasculate him
We all have our weak moments, from not being able to open a jar lid to not being able to change a car tire. These sound funny, but men are taught at a young age to be providers and only enjoy “manly” things. Just like not showing emotions, being unable to dot these simple things can lead your sensitive boyfriend to question his manliness and lead to feelings of insecurity.
If your boyfriend suddenly loses his job, doesn’t enjoy traditionally “manly” things, or just doesn’t conform to “manly,” standards, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. In fact, the best thing you can do is not make your boyfriend feel weaker or “less manly” during hardships. Doing so might be a sign that you’re abusive or at the very least need to change your expectations and let go of thinking patterns that support toxic masculinity.
9. Consider talk therapy
If your boyfriend has serious feelings of insecurity, depression, anxiety, or stress, sometimes it’s best to get them the help they need through talk or other therapy.
A trained therapist can help get to the root of your boyfriend’s sensitivity issues, whether that’s a horrible past relationship or past trauma. These can all lead to someone suffering from insecurity and self-esteem issues in the future. No matter what you do, you cannot fix these issues, and a trained therapist is the best option for your boyfriend to get the help they need.
10. Consider couples or marriage counseling
If you find that the issues with your boyfriend are more serious than you expected, but he doesn’t want individual counseling, then couples counseling can help. Couples counseling is proven to be effective at mediating communication between couples, and, as we know, communication is essential if your boyfriend is sensitive and reserved.
11. Introduce him to your friends
It can be difficult for a sensitive partner to feel comfortable around their significant other’s friends. This is especially true if your boyfriend is extremely shy, insecure, or just doesn’t know where you two stand in your relationship.
To help your boyfriend feel confident in your relationship, introduce him to some friends to help him feel more integrated into your life. Introducing your boyfriend to your friends can be the reassurance your boyfriend needs to make him feel like he is an important part of your life.
12. Make them feel purposeful
If your boyfriend is struggling with finding his purpose in your life, or simply feels as if he is insignificant in your life, remind him of how important he is to you and your relationship. Does he add humor to your serious lifestyle? Does he make you feel like things are ok? Does he make you feel like a priority or cared for?
All of these are valid reasons for why you might love your partner, and reminding your boyfriend of these can help in making him feel purposeful. In addition, it allows your boyfriend to know that he is loved and cared for as well.
13. Don’t criticize too harshly
We all have our downfalls, from not cleaning the bathroom enough to leaving our clothes on the floor, to not cleaning the dishes, you name it! However, if your boyfriend is sensitive, all these issues can be a sign of depression.
It’s important to not criticize your boyfriend too harshly, and understand that he might just not know how these little actions are impacting your day-to-day life. It’s not just cleanliness either. If your boyfriend is having trouble with his family, at school, or at work, it’s never a good idea to be a harsh critic.
Instead, engage in active listening with your partner and remind them of their positive characteristics.
14. Create a safe space in your home
If you and your partner share a home, it might be beneficial to add a relaxing, safe space where your partner can feel at ease. This can be a den, a corner of the living room, or another area of your home where your boyfriend can go to clear his head and release pent-up emotions.
Perhaps your boyfriend likes writing or playing music. Why not set up a desk or small music shop in your home? The possibilities are endless!
15. Meditate together
One of the best ways to treat anxiety and other issues that plague highly-sensitized people is meditation and mindfulness. Meditation can help your boyfriend (and you) release negative thoughts and re-frame your thinking. If your boyfriend is hesitant to start meditating, offer to begin meditating with him during the morning or evening hours. This is a great way to relax, get rid of excess stress, and connect with your significant other.
16. Notice signs of increased stress and get help
If your boyfriend is more irritable, easily angered, or simply feels overwhelmed, it’s important to recognize these signs of increased stress and get help for your boyfriend.
Being overly stressed can not just cause your boyfriend to be irritable, but also feel as if he can’t handle the relationship or be easily triggered over small issues. Take the time to talk to your partner about stress and get help with stress management.
17. Encourage alone time if needed
If you or your boyfriend are having trouble communicating, consider taking some time apart throughout the day, or even in your relationship. Sometimes, a little alone time can be enough to let your sensitive boyfriend reset and take care of his mental health. Without taking time for himself and resetting, his highly sensitized state can continue to drive a wedge in your relationship.
18. Have some boundaries for yourself as well
It can be difficult to constantly reassure your sensitive boyfriend and to make sure the relationship is working out between the two of you. If you feel you’re doing everything you can to listen and validate your boyfriend’s feelings, but aren’t listening to your own feelings, it’s time to set boundaries.
It doesn’t matter how sensitive your boyfriend is. The bottom line is that your happiness and health come first. Constantly caring for a sensitive boyfriend can be exhausting. Make sure you dedicate enough time to yourself and set boundaries in your relationship. For instance, if you want to spend a girls night out and your boyfriend seems against the idea, be firm and remind him of the boundaries you have set.
19. Celebrate his strengths
When dealing with a boyfriend who is overly insecure and sensitive, it’s important to celebrate their strengths. Your boyfriend might feel as if his accomplishments aren’t good enough for you, or aren’t even good enough for himself.
Reminding your boyfriend that he is an accomplished man and celebrating his small wins, whether at work, home, or school, can increase his self-confidence and make him less sensitive. This practice is known as positive reinforcement, as is one of the best and effective ways to change behaviors in a person.
20. Don’t go to bed angry…seriously
In the end, it can be difficult to deal with a sensitive boyfriend. However, if you want things to work out between you and your sensitive boyfriend, you must practice patience, understanding, and compassion in your relationship.
This means never going to bed angry and resolving issues as they arise. Without resolving issues, your boyfriend might feel left in the dark and have increased anxiety about your relationship.
It’s important to always communicate your feelings with a sensitive boyfriend, even if they’re not the best. Communicating and finding solutions to problems when they come up can be one of the best ways to combat negativity and make your boyfriend feel secure.
