Shyness and nervousness are all signs of finding someone attractive.
We’re all familiar with the butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling that happens when we see someone we’re fond of – and how this can lead to nervousness and even nausea!
Fortunately, these feelings are normal, but they might be why some guys avoid girls that they like.
Being shy, not knowing what to say, or feeling as if they’ll say the wrong thing can all be reasons why some guys choose to avoid the girls they’re attracted to.
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How do I know if a guy likes me?
There are many reasons why one of your friends, co-workers, or acquaintances starts to back away from you and avoid you more often.
However, if you notice he avoids you plus shows other signs of liking you, it might be that he’s simply too shy to be around you!
Here are some tell-tale signs that will let you know how this guy feels about you.
Texting Habits
Texting is probably the most standard form of communication out there. This isn’t always a good thing, since it’s pretty difficult to discern from texts alone whether a guy likes you.
Fortunately, there are ways to break down texting conversations to see if a guy likes you.
For instance, if a guy is always texting you to get home safely, call him when you’re home, or even asks how your day was, these are all texts that show that he cares about you.
Texting you good morning and good night are also subtle signs that he wants you to think about him when you wake up and before you fall asleep (how romantic).
Still, even though the texts between you two might be sweet, it doesn’t guarantee he’ll be able to interact with you in person.
But studies have shown that texting has been able to help shy teens and young adults communicate better and be more open with others.
However, even though he might be great at responding to your texts and having conversations with you through the phone, he might still avoid you in person if he’s shy and likes you!
Seeing him more often
If a shy boy likes you, he’ll find opportunities to be neat to you. Creepy?
Perhaps, but more often than not, even though he might be in the same class, group, or party as you, your secret admirer might still avoid talking to you.
For more confident people, striking up a conversation with their crush might be exciting and fun, but for shy people, this is a nerve-wracking experience!
Subtle compliments
If and when you do interact with your admirer, they’re bound to try to flatter you and make you feel noticed.
Through small compliments, like telling you your hair is nice, that you smell pretty, or that you’re looking refreshed today, a shy guy can express his affection for you while still remaining subtle about it.
If you notice he gives you compliments but still avoids a full conversation with you, don’t worry about it!
This just means he’s trying to open up and break out of his shell. In time, perhaps he’ll stop avoiding you and try to make an effort at setting up a date or some alone-time with you.
Nervousness
Of course, there might come a time when your secret admirer chooses to be bold, or you might even reach out to them and strike up a conversation.
Stuttering, tense body language, and showing signs of nervousness can all indicate your crush is incredibly shy and into you.
You might even catch them smiling and blushing, which can mean that they’re experiencing that familiar butterfly sensation in their stomachs!
There’s actually a medical reason behind that, where dopamine levels flood our system as soon as we see our crush, leading to excitement and nervousness.
There’s no hiding this, so it’s one of the surest signs that a shy boy is in love!
Is he avoiding me because he hates me?
Sadly, not all avoidance is a good thing.
Although some guys might avoid girls they like because they’re shy and don’t want to seem nervous around them, some guys might also avoid women they can’t stand!
It’s a reality that you might have to face if you notice someone you’ve recently been dating or texting suddenly starts avoiding you.
How to tell the difference
First and foremost, if a guy tells you he’s avoiding you because you did something to offend him or he simply doesn’t want to continue the relationship, this is the surest sign that he’s avoiding you because he doesn’t like you anymore.
We know. It’s heartbreaking. However, it’s better to get a solid reply and answer rather than having to spend time figuring out if he’s ghosting you or just too shy to talk to you.
In fact, many men nowadays choose to ghost women instead of telling them upfront why they’re avoiding them. There are various reasons for this, including:
- Emotional immaturity
- Trying to avoid confrontation
- Cheating and not wanting to get caught
- Not wanting to sound mean
- Not wanting to sound petty
- Thinking they don’t owe you an explanation
The last one is quite common.
With so many dating apps, bars, clubs, and get-togethers, it’s easy for men to find another love interest and simply stop or avoid talking to you altogether.
Remember, he doesn’t owe you an explanation (sadly), so it’s best to cut your losses and start looking for someone else rather than waiting on a call or text.
Similarly, if you’ve offended him and now he’s not talking to you, you can either apologize and try to remedy the situation or understand that he might take time to come around again.
Whether it was a rude comment, being unavailable, sending a nasty text, jealously, you name it – these can all be reasons for why he is now avoiding you.
The bottom line is, if he’s avoiding you but doesn’t show any signs of being shy or liking you, it’s probably because he doesn’t want to date or talk to you anymore.
How do I start a relationship with a shy guy?
If you notice a guy is avoiding you and also shows subtle signs of having a crush on you, there’s no shame in initiating contact and getting him to talk to you more!
Starting a conversation or even asking someone out on a date can be a great way to start a new relationship.
Although some guys might avoid girls they like because they’re shy, there may be other reasons.
Being unable to impress you
Many men feel like they’re not able to impress the woman they’re interested in, and so they avoid talking to them even though they might like them.
Avoidance is a way to ensure they don’t have to face rejection, which can be extremely painful and cause a hit to their self-esteem.
Fortunately, you can reassure a man that’s interested in you that you’re also interested, and that he doesn’t have to impress you to win your affection!
Talk to the shy guy and let him know you already like his personality, his compliments, his look, even just being around him.
If you’re willing to have a sincere conversation and be vulnerable about your feelings, this might be enough to break the ice and start a relationship with the man who’s been avoiding you.
Low self-esteem
Similarly, some men might just struggle with low self-esteem for one reason or another. Around 40% of men say they have low self-esteem due to issues with their body image.
Giving subtle compliments about the way the guy who’s avoiding you looks (within boundaries of course), might be enough to give him a boost of self-confidence and get him to talk to you more.
Unfortunately, even if you give the shy guy a compliment, it might not be enough to fix deep-rooted issues of anxiety and low self-esteem.
If this is the case, it’s best to give this man space and allow him to work on his self-confidence before he starts trying to date you.
Dating someone with low self-confidence or self-esteem issues is possible, however, it takes time, dedication, and patience and can be overwhelming for some.
Being intimidated by you
A strong, confident, and beautiful woman can intimidate anyone, men included! Some men might avoid you even if they like you simply because you intimidate them.
This is especially true if you two work in the same environment – especially if you’re his supervisor!
In these situations, it’s best to take things slow and wait for the guy who’s avoiding you to see another side of you that isn’t so intimidating to him.
Over time, he might see that you love to watch romantic flicks, go hiking, spend time with your pets, or other personality traits that don’t seem so intimidating after all!
If you’re willing, show your softer side to ease the tension, but remember, you don’t have to change who you are!
Not knowing where to start
Finally, your love interest might be avoiding you simply because he doesn’t know where to start! Should he make simple conversation? Ask you on a date?
Where would he even take you? Is it too soon? These are all questions that can run through his mind and cause him to avoid you.
In these situations, it’s best to take things slow and let the relationship happen naturally without forcing a date or conversation.
Takeaways
If you find that a man – a friend, co-worker, or even a former love interest – is now avoiding you, it could either be that he’s totally into you, or not.
The first step to figuring it out is asking them upfront! If he tells you he has moved on or no longer wants to speak to you, cut your losses.
If you notice he’s avoiding you but giving mixed signals and showing subtle signs of a crush, feel free to break the ice!
