Each couple is unique and so is the answer to this question; it depends upon the two people involved.
There are instances where the victim of the infidelity feels the marriage is worth fighting for. Others never recover at all.
One thing is certain, the relationship will never be the same.
Table of Contents
What is infidelity?
Infidelity is where one or both people have a relationship outside the marriage. It does not really matter if that relationship involved sexual encounters or not.
If a person is intimate (emotionally or physically) with someone other than their spouse, it IS considered cheating.
What happens in a marriage after a person is unfaithful?
Infidelity destroys trust. Even if the couple stays together, they will always have that incident between them.
The victim will be suspicious every time his or her partner leaves the home.
What does the research say?
The results of a study done by the American Psychological Association discovered that 53% of couples who experienced infidelity ended their marriage within five years of the incident.
What about faithful couples?
The same research showed that only 23% of couples who remained faithful got divorced after five years.
It should be mentioned that, in both scenarios, marriage counseling was sought before deciding to divorce.
Is it always the man that is unfaithful?
Absolutely not! A woman can cheat just as easily as a man; a man can definitely be a victim of an unfaithful spouse.
He will feel just as much pain as a woman would in this situation.
Can infidelity occur in a same-sex marriage?
Yes, infidelity is not exclusive to heterosexual marriages. Same-sex couples can experience everything that heterosexual couples do.
The concept of being unfaithful in a marriage knows no boundaries.
Are there different ways of cheating on your spouse?
This is another subjective area. If a person watches pornography, participates in a sex video chat, or goes to a strip club, their spouse might consider that to be cheating.
Again, it depends on the individuals who are involved.
Are there factors that make infidelity seem worse?
Yes, lying about it. It is not only the act of infidelity itself that is harmful but all that time spent lying about it.
Making up excuses for where you have been, denying there is another lover when confronted with the question – these are all different ways of lying about infidelity.
Just the notion that your spouse no longer loves you is painful. To the victim, all of these things are points of no return in a relationship.
Once a person makes the choice to cheat, their marriage will never be the same.
What about just communicating with someone other than your spouse?
At the outset, it might seem silly to think of your spouse sending a text message to someone else as cheating.
However, to the partner who finds this out, it is equally painful. The spouse obviously has a desire to be open with that person instead of you.
How can that NOT be cheating? The intent is still there!
What are some reasons for infidelity?
Many people that were caught cheating claimed that their spouse was at fault in the first place. They were doing things that led the partner to be unfaithful.
What would some of those reasons be?
If you caught your spouse cheating and he or she claims one of these things is the cause, you might try fixing it before deciding on a divorce. Let’s take a look.
- My spouse no longer cares about me
- Lack of communication
- My spouse is not affectionate towards me anymore
- Mental health problems with my partner
- Changes in life cycles, such as becoming parents
- Physical health problems
- Too much separation between myself and my spouse
- Drug or alcohol addiction
- Addiction to sex or gambling
- Empty nest syndrome
- One partner has a serious lack of self-esteem
What should you do if you discover infidelity in your marriage?
Do not rush into any critical decisions. This is a time of emotional trauma for the victim and for the cheater.
Take some time to talk things over and hash them out. Maybe seek the services and advice of a marriage counselor.
Remember that a marriage takes work from both spouses. It is a commitment to each other beginning the moment you get engaged.
If things have spiraled downward to the point where one or both of you are cheating, it will take a lot of work to repair the marriage. However, divorce is often messy and also takes a lot of work.
If there are children involved, you must think of them as well.
Will the pain caused by infidelity ever stop?
That depends on the individuals. According to research, the pain goes away after about two years. However, some people never get over it.
These people carry that pain around for the rest of their lives. Many choose to never even date again, let alone marry, because of sadness and bitterness.
If you cheat on your spouse, is it possible to still truly love them?
In some cases yes. Maybe one spouse is no longer interested in sex, but the other one considers it a crucial part of the relationship.
The person may still love their partner but end up searching for sex elsewhere.
Does the unfaithful spouse ever feel remorse?
Yes, very often they do, whether it is the man or the woman doing the cheating.
Even when the affair goes undetected, the perpetrator will still feel a lot of guilt. This may cause a change in his or her behavior.
What are some signs you should divorce after infidelity?
If any of these signs apply to you, it is probably best to begin divorce proceedings as soon as possible.
- If you feel mentally or emotionally drained
- If you will not even speak to your spouse
- You do not feel counseling will help
- You refuse to accept their apology
- You see signs they are continuing to be unfaithful
- You do not think you are at fault
- The children are distressed
- You do not see any possibility for reconciliation
- You do not wish to fight to keep your spouse
Are there ever good reasons to cheat on your spouse?
No, not really. Even if there are problems between you, such as those we described earlier, you should never be unfaithful.
You can choose to separate or divorce instead. Then you will be free to see other people. Cheating is not the way to go. It can do irreversible damage to your partner.
Can you find love with someone else after a spouse has been unfaithful?
Yes! There are a lot of kind and loving people out there waiting for someone like you to come along.
Why should you punish yourself and remain alone the rest of your life because of one bad apple?
If you divorce due to infidelity, can you still have a good life?
Again, yes! No matter which path you choose, your life can still be fun and fulfilling.
If you choose not to see other people, but instead to concentrate on your children, your family or friends, or your career, you can still have a good life.
On the other hand, if you elect to find someone else to share your life with, that can also have its own rewards.
Life should be cherished and enjoyed despite any hard feelings left over from your divorce. Why not start doing that today?
