If you’re trying to find your special someone and you just ended a serious relationship, you undoubtedly need time to heal before dating again. Breaking up with someone that you really cared for can be difficult, but by taking the time to reflect, you will be ready to resume searching for your soul mate again – in the future. You may be wondering, however, just how long to wait before dating again.
There is no specific amount of time that a person should wait to date again after ending a relationship. Everyone is different. If you were in a relationship for a year or more, then you might need 1 or 2 months or even longer before dating again. Psychologists state that waiting an adequate amount of time in-between relationships is important. This waiting period gives you time to not only grieve the loss of your relationship but also provides you with the opportunity to determine what you may have learned from your relationship.
The amount of time you should wait to date again after a relationship will also depend on your specific emotions. If you are still madly in love with your ex, then you need some time to deal with those emotions, and that could take months. If, on the other hand, you had fallen out of love with your significant other and you were ready for the end of the relationship, then you will likely require a lot less time to process your feelings before dating someone new.
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What is dating on the rebound?
Dating on the rebound refers to the act of jumping into a new relationship right after a breakup. Many people jump from relationship to relationship as quickly as possible. People do this because they are afraid of being alone and of facing the hurtful feelings that surface following a breakup. For some people, dating on the rebound can be helpful, but for others, it could be disastrous.
Sometimes a breakup is only temporary. Perhaps the couple simply needs time apart in order to work out their feelings. By immediately getting involved in another relationship, a person faces the chance of complicating things even more. With a third person involved, it can make reconciling with your ex nearly impossible. At the very least, someone is going to end up with hurt feelings, which could have been avoided had you taken a break from dating after your breakup instead of immediately finding someone new.
Can dating on the rebound be healthy?
Though most psychologists and relationship experts agree that anyone who has just ended a serious long-term relationship needs a break from dating in order to process their emotions, some believe that dating on the rebound can be healthy in some cases. First of all, dating on the rebound can fill the void that the loss of the previous relationship has left. This can sometimes help a person to heal faster and help them avoid laying around crying and feeling sorry for themselves.
Another reason why some psychologists believe that dating on the rebound can be healthy in certain instances is that it can help improve a person’s self-esteem. According to a study that was published in 2015, the sooner a person becomes involved in a new relationship, the more quickly they’re able to come to terms with their previous relationship while ensuring their mental and physical health remains intact.
The publishers of the article also reported that one negative aspect of dating on the rebound is the likelihood of comparing their former and current mates. Their research found that the sooner a person became involved in a new relationship after a breakup, the more likely that person was to compare the new mate to the previous one. People don’t like being compared to other people, especially when it’s their significant other’s ex, so this could certainly cause some friction in the new relationship.
What are some negative aspects of dating on the rebound?
While dating on the rebound can be the right thing for some people, for others, it’s not so great. In fact, statistics show that 90% of rebound relationships end within three months. The inability to sustain a long-term relationship following a recent breakup is likely due to the fact that the “rebounder” still has some emotions from the previous relationship that weren’t properly addressed. These emotions can range from anger to anxiety and may be taken out on the new significant other.
Many people fail to realize how powerful emotions are, and for some people, it takes time to deal with the emotions that surface after a breakup. Jumping into a new relationship right away is not fair to the new person, who has no idea that you are likely still in love with your ex. It takes time to fall in love with someone, and falling out of love takes time as well.
As long as you’re no longer emotionally attached to your ex, it can be easy to disengage from the relationship and quickly begin a new one. Perhaps you had never been in love with your ex, or maybe you stopped loving your ex a long time ago, which means that even though you’ve recently broken up, you’re not necessarily dating on the rebound, so the same “rules” may not apply to you.
Despite the negative aspects of dating on the rebound, entering into a relationship shortly after ending a serious relationship can be healthy, long-lasting, and fulfilling.
Hookups and one-night stands
It’s normal to miss intimacy and sex after a breakup, and this desire often leads people to opt for hooking up with new people or seeking one-night stands. As long as you take the necessary precautions to protect yourself, doing so is not likely to be damaging emotionally. Many people find a “bed buddy,” or a relationship that is strictly based on sex, with no strings attached, after breaking up with a serious lover. Then, once they’ve had the time to heal and mourn the loss of their previous relationship, they can end things with the bed buddy and find a more suitable person to have a relationship with. However, no-strings-attached relationships can get complicated, so proceed with caution.
Reflect on what you learned from your recent relationship
Whether you decide to take a break after your recent breakup or immediately become involved with a new person, you should take the time to reflect on what you learned from the relationship that just ended. Why did you break up? Were you somehow at fault? Could you have salvaged the relationship had you done something differently? Were you open and communicative, or were you lacking in this department? You should spend some time thinking about the answers to these questions because the answers could help you eliminate problems in future relationships.
What to do while you’re taking a break from dating
It can be lonely after a breakup, especially if you and your ex spent a great deal of time together. However, you don’t have to sit around in misery, as there is a lot that you can do to distract yourself while you get over your ex. Here is a list of ways to keep yourself occupied while you process your feelings after a breakup:
- Find a new hobby – You may be interested in learning to knit and have always wanted to take a class. Now is the perfect time to do so. Knitting is therapeutic, as well, which can help you get over the loss of your relationship.
- Spend quality time with friends – Chances are you weren’t able to spend as much quality time with your friends as you would have liked to have while you were dating your ex. Now you can spend as much time hanging out as you want.
- Get a makeover – One thing that can really help you spiritually after a breakup is to get a makeover. You can opt for one as simple or as extravagant as your budget and time will allow. Getting that awesome haircut, buying that new outfit, or getting that fancy facial will help you feel so much better. Splurge a little, you deserve it.
This isn’t an exhaustive list of things to do while you’re recovering from a breakup, because the sky is the limit. You might want to take an extended vacation if time and money enable you to. You could also take a class, work a second job to save for something special, begin an exercise program, and much more. If you’re not sure what to do, sit down and create a list of some things that you enjoy or have always wanted to do.
Ending a serious relationship can be very difficult, as there are often residual feelings that must be adequately dealt with before beginning a new, healthy relationship. Some people feel that finding someone else to date as quickly as possible is the best way for them to heal, but others believe that waiting a few months before dating again is ideal. Everyone is different, and every relationship is different. As long as a person carefully assesses their emotions, desires, and expectations, they can begin dating again after a breakup whenever they please and not have to worry about it not being healthy.
