Are you currently dating someone you really like? You’re probably wondering how many dates is enough to be considered “official”.
Keep reading to find out.
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How Many Dates Are Enough to Be Considered Official?
There are two main opinions, which are:
- It Depends: You could argue that there are no set number of dates, as each person and situation varies. There’s also your own history that needs to be taken into account. For example, those who have recently broken up with someone may need to move at a slower pace.
- The Rule of 5: Many believe that you should go on a set amount of dates before you get serious with someone, with the magic number being five. After 5 dates, you’ll likely know each other well, have built some romantic connection, and won’t be interested in other people.
Going on a set amount of dates before committing yourself to someone can prevent you from making a mistake, especially if you use the dates to really find out who your dating partner is. It’s incredibly easy to get lost in each other, so much so that you might miss red flags and don’t actually know who you’re getting into bed with (literally). Five dates is a good rule of thumb, since it stops you from moving too quickly while ensuring you’re not becoming yesterday’s news.
Create your own timeline, such as only kissing on the fourth date or only introducing them to your friends after six dates. This will help you stick to a plan instead of being influenced to go at a faster pace. Having a set amount of dates before getting physical is also a great way to know if your date is genuinely interested in getting to know who you are.
Set a general guideline for the number of dates you go on before getting serious, but alter it to match the person you’re dating and the type of dates you’ve already been on.
Have a conversation with the person you’re dating so that you’re both on the same page about where the relationship is going. It will also clear up any misunderstandings and give you more confidence about how things are progressing.
Are You Already In a Relationship?
If you’re already past date five, then you may already be in a relationship. Although you may not have had made it official, the person you’re dating may think you’re already in one – so it’s vital to communicate your intentions as early as possible.
It all comes down to how you define the different stages of a relationship. Typically, a relationship will progress as follows:
- The Dating Phase
- You Become Exclusive
- You Make the Relationship Official
Exclusive vs. Official
When you want to only see that one person, you become exclusive. You see this person as a potential life partner, so you’re no longer interested in dating others.
However, some people find it hard to distinguish the difference between becoming exclusive and entering an official relationship. An exclusive agreement is essentially a “testing stage” just before entering a relationship.
What To Consider Before Making a Relationship Official?
If you think you’re ready to make your relationship official, make sure you are able to answer the following questions:
1. Do you want to date others?
The easiest way to tell if you’re ready for a committed relationship is figure out whether or not you want to see other people. You might be attracted to others, but you shouldn’t want to date others if you’re really interested in the person you’re dating.
You should also ask yourself whether the person you’re dating is still interested in others. What do the signs say?
2. Do you trust each other?
Trust is the foundation of any good relationship. In fact, having no trust is one of the biggest reasons why relationships end.
Is the person you’re dating trustworthy? Does he trust you back? Some people have been hurt by previous relationships and now struggle to trust their partner. This is something to look out for, as it can cause huge problems in the future.
You need to trust that neither of you will leave when times get difficult, and you need to be confident that your partner will always be on your side – even through bad times and disagreements.
If there’s trust between the two of you, then you have a great foundation to build on – and it may be time to make things official.
3. How happy are you?
It sounds like a simple question, but ask yourself if you’re truly happy with the person you’re dating. Relationships should bring fun and enjoyment to your life, and you shouldn’t settle for someone based on their looks or interests.
For a relationship to outlast the test of time, you need a partner that cheers you up on the bad days and that you can truly have fun with. .
If you feel like there is potential for improvement, it might be worth thinking of ways to make each other happier. If you’re able to work together to make each other happy, then you are already building a great foundation for a relationship.
Be honest with your feelings: Does this person brighten your day? If the answer is no, then that person may not be right for you
4. Can you see a future together?
Can you really picture yourself with this person forever? While things may be great at the moment, are you confident in your future together? What happens when things go south? Will you still be there for each other?
If not, then it may be a good idea to call it quits before things get more serious and ending things becomes more painful.
You should also make sure that your date can see a future with you. Make sure that they feel the same. It’s best to talk about these things before you get into a relationship. In fact, many relationships fail because they failed to actually think about the long-term plan and whether or not it would make them happy.
5. What type of dates have you been on?
While the number of dates you’ve been on is important for some, it’s also worth considering the type of dates you’ve been on.
- Have you only been on adventurous dates?
- Have you been getting drunk on every date?
It’s easy to go on fun dates and flirt all night, but a relationship needs more than that. Before making it official, you should consider how well you actually know the person. You need to know what makes them tick, what they have planned for their future, and if you’d survive the bad times together.
Going on different types of dates will allow you to see how the person acts in different situations. Try mixing it up by going on outdoor adventures, chilling on the sofa, cooking some meals, or going to a concert.
Final Thoughts
Only you will know when it’s time to enter an official relationship. If you tend to fall in love easily, create boundaries to avoid getting hurt. However, some people prefer to go with the flow and not put any restrictions on their romantic relationships – so that they don’t minimize the feelings of lust and passion that come with a new relationship.
It’s also important to consider the person you are dating. Even though you may be fine with no set rules, your date may want to progress to an official relationship after a certain number of dates.
The bottom line is to always communicate with the person you’re dating. Relationships are serious, so be careful not to rush into anything that either of you aren’t ready for.
