The prospect of dating a guy who has never dated before may feel daunting or cause you to immediately run in the opposite direction. After all, how will you know if you’re what he really wants if he doesn’t have any prior dating experience?
Knowing how to date a guy who has never dated before is extremely helpful when navigating the dating world, regardless of your own level of experience. The more comfortable you become with men, no matter their dating histories and pasts, the easier it will be for you to find a partner who is genuinely a great match for you.
Table of Contents
1. Assess the situation (including your own wants and needs)
Before jumping into dating, it is important to assess your own wants and needs when it comes to pursuing a relationship. Are you interested in a short-term fling, or are you seeking a monogamous partner who is in it for the long haul?
Understanding your own wants and needs is an essential component to successfully dating anyone – even a guy who has little to no experience with dating. The more honest you are about your wants when dating, the less likely you are to end up in a situation that is uncomfortable or unwelcoming.
If you find yourself interested in a guy who has never dated before, ask yourself why you are interested and what type of relationship you are interested in. Consider the situation as well as his own wants and needs before you begin pursuing the relationship.
2. Open communication is key
Open communication and honesty are two key elements that are necessary for any relationship to work, romantic or not. If you are dating a man who has not dated in the past, open communication is a must.
A guy who has never dated before is not only more likely to come off as shy, reserved, and innocent, but he also may be naive and unfamiliar with relationship etiquette. If he does not know how to properly communicate his emotions and feelings, he may require a bit of nudging and guidance from you, his partner.
Communicating openly with a guy who has never dated before will help you to get to know him on a deeper and more personal level. It will also help him to feel more comfortable communicating with you and sharing his own thoughts and ideas.
It is important to be upfront, direct, and empathetic when dating anyone who has little to no experience in dating. By being upfront and direct, yet kind and caring, you can define and set boundaries that work for both of you, whether you are dating casually or searching for a more serious commitment.
3. Discuss your intentions (his too)
When you are dating a guy who has never dated before, it is imperative to discuss both of your intentions as quickly as possible. A man who has not dated before is more likely to find himself attached or “in love” quicker than those who have had serious relationships or even marriages in the past.
Discussing your intentions upfront can help to avoid awkward situations or hurt feelings, especially if he is interested in more than you, or vice versa. When you are discussing your intentions, ask him a few of the following questions to gauge where he is mentally and emotionally in terms of dating and relationships:
- What is it that you are looking for in a relationship? Are you just interested in dating casually and for fun, or are you seeking a serious and committed relationship?
- Do you feel comfortable sharing with me? What can I do to make you feel more comfortable sharing with me and opening up?
- How can I help you to feel more confident when we are together?
- How can I better communicate my wants and needs to you?
4. Avoid comparing him to past partners
When you begin dating someone who has never dated before, it may be difficult not to compare them to your previous partners or exes, even when you try to avoid it. However, it is extremely important to avoid comparing anyone you are dating to past partners, especially a guy who has little to no dating experience altogether.
Comparing a guy who has never dated before with your past partners is not only unfair, but it can lead to extremely high expectations that ultimately drive a wedge between the two of you.
No person is the same as another, which is why it is so imperative to remove preexisting notions of what a partner is, what a partner should be, and how a partner should act. When dating, it is important to treat your partner as an individual, not as a comparison to the amalgamation of your exes or the “type” of person you prefer to date.
It is especially important to remember that when you are dating a guy who has never dated before, you are more likely to encounter trials and errors along the way. Speedbumps are a naturally occurring part of any relationship, especially one that is romantic in nature.
When you are dating someone who is entirely new to the prospect of romantic dating, it is necessary to make room for errors in judgement, awkwardness, and even situations that you have never before encountered. Remaining open-minded and understanding is an integral part of making any relationship with an inexperienced partner work.
5. Don’t rush or force anything
When you make the choice to date a guy who has never dated before, avoid rushing or forcing the progression of your relationship. Going back to open and honest communication is key, even if you feel like it’s time to take the relationship to the next level.
A guy who has never dated before or who is new to serious dating may find it difficult to express his feelings and emotions, especially as it pertains to his romantic and sexual relationships. In order to help the man you are dating feel more comfortable, ask him what he is most comfortable with and explain that it is okay to be honest and upfront.
Do not rush or force anything on anyone who is inexperienced at dating, especially if it involves physical touch or interactions. With any relationship, it is always important to discuss what is and isn’t appropriate at any time. Having boundaries set in place and open dialogue is key when you are dating a guy who has not dated in the past, especially when you make the decision to get physical and intimate.
6. Accept that there will be insecurities
Dating is hard enough as it is, let alone without any previous adult experience. If you are dating a man who has never dated before, it is essential to keep in mind that he is likely feeling overwhelmed and has plenty of insecurities, especially if he knows that you are experienced in the dating world.
When you are dating a guy with no relationship experience, accept that insecurities will rear their ugly head at one time or another. Men who have not dated in the past are not likely to know when they are doing something right or when they have upset you. They are much more likely to feel anxious and overwhelmed when dealing with even the smallest issues and relationship quarrels.
Patience, understanding, empathy, and communication will go a long way in supporting them If you do not consider yourself the patient, empathetic, and communicative type, it may be best to seek a dating partner who has a bit more experience in order to avoid unnecessary tension or disappointment.
7. Let go of your own ego
Regardless of your initial intentions, you will likely encounter difficult times if you choose to date an inexperienced guy. If you are experienced in dating, have experience with long-term relationships, or if you have even been married, it may be difficult to keep your ego in check once you make the decision to date someone without these same experiences.
Checking in and letting go of your ego are essential components to a long-lasting relationship, regardless of a partner’s history and dating past. When an ego interferes with the connection you have with another, you are much more likely to cause friction rather than coming together, connecting, and feeling closer.
When you are dating a man who has never dated before, you may find yourself confused, bewildered, and even irritated at times, especially when you first start navigating your relationship.
A guy who has never dated before is likely to struggle with public displays of affection (PDA) formalities, communication, and common relationship etiquettes that seem obvious to you. It is important not to judge too quickly, respond harshly, or use sarcasm to condescend to your partner, even if you are doing so in a joking manner.
If you are searching for a genuine and authentic connection with a man who does not have dating experience, you must enter the relationship with an open mind while keeping your ego at the door. Allowing your ego to belittle the man you are dating because he is inexperienced will damage his own confidence and self-esteem, making it extraordinarily difficult to open up and grow in the dating world.
8. Avoid being his teacher 24/7
If you are your boyfriend’s first partner, it is common for you to assume the role of teacher or guide, especially if the man you are dating has never been physically intimate before. When you first start dating, it may feel instinctive to begin teaching your partner proper communication and PDA etiquette based on your own dating and relationship experiences.
While it is nice to help your partner learn more about relationships, it is also important for you to set your own boundaries and limitations regarding what your role actually is with one another.
It is important not to become so consumed with trying to teach your partner that you begin to feel unfulfilled and unsatisfied in other areas of your relationship. Keep an ongoing, open dialogue to discuss your feelings and emotions in addition to listening to him and guiding him through the dating process.
If you feel you are becoming too much of a teacher, make sure you let your partner know so that you two can focus more on being romantic partners.
9. Discuss PDA and physical boundaries
When dating someone who is inexperienced, maintaining open and ongoing dialogue is a must. It is also essential to discuss PDA and physical boundaries so that you are both comfortable in the relationship.
Men who do not have experience with dating may not know when it is appropriate to get physical or to physically touch their partner, even if they have only good intentions in mind. Setting boundaries and discussing your own preferences for PDA is a good way to avoid awkwardness or unnecessary disagreements in the future.
Be upfront about your thoughts on PDA as well as what you feel comfortable with and what is inappropriate to you when in public. Allow the partner you are dating to express his own feelings on the matter to gain a better understanding of his personal worldview when it comes to dating.
Both men and women internalize what is deemed appropriate by observing those around them and by what they see portrayed in the media. If personal boundaries aren’t discussed, one partner could make the other partner uncomfortable by crossing a boundary they didn’t know existed.
A guy who has never dated before may believe it is entirely appropriate to kiss a girl on a first date without warning. He may also believe that showing off with physical touch in front of others without discussion or ongoing consent from both partners is appropriate, when it may not be okay for you.
When you take the time to discuss PDA and boundaries before you get serious with someone who has not dated in the past, you will feel more comfortable moving forward with your relationship. Once both partners are on the same page, it is much easier to maintain a cohesive dynamic as you get to know more about one another as a couple.
Feeling comfortable with the prospect of dating a guy who has never dated before is a way to take the dating world by storm, regardless of the type of relationship you desire. When you feel self-assured and confident in your dating preferences, nothing can get in your way.
When you are comfortable with dating men from all walks of life, you will keep yourself open to possibilities and opportunities that may lead you to find the love of your life.
