Urban Dictionary defines the Ugly Duckling Syndrome as a situation in which a girl, who used to be unattractive, becomes good-looking with maturity, but in her mind still thinks she’s ugly. Also known as a late bloomer in many ways, ugly ducklings have got so much going on for them, that goes above and beyond mere looks.
Do you suffer from ugly duckling syndrome? Here are some questions which will help you determine whether you’ve got it.
- Is your self-worth barely even there?
- Do you avoid wearing make-up?
- Do you struggle to accept compliments and think people are making a joke?
- Do you presume guys are always looking at someone else, but never you?
- Do you put yourself down?
- Do you value more inner beauty and intellect than conventional attractiveness?
If you answered “yes” to some, or most of these questions, then you definitely need to work on overcoming the ugly duckling syndrome, and letting your beautiful swan come out, once and for all! Of course, that doesn’t mean you need to change who you are, but it’s time to accept who you’ve become.
Here are some of the most common situations and examples of ugly duckling syndrome and what you can do to change them.
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1. You are not used to accepting compliments
If you grew up believing that you are not the most attractive girl around, then you are probably still seeing yourself as average-looking and nothing that special? Well, maturing into your beautiful self means that people will start to notice you, so you need to be ready for the attention.
And when we say people, we mean a lot of guys will start to notice you. And guys like to stare! Especially if a girl is a little shy, a little reserved, and doesn’t even realize how hot she is! A guy will most likely stare even more because he’d be surprised that you are so cool about your looks.
What can you do?
Next time people pay compliments to you and you feel like blushing, denying it, or laughing it off, pause and simply say “thank you”. The truth is a lot of women struggle to accept compliments and merely showing gratitude, not feeling the need to argue about the compliment!
Practice accepting a good word about yourself and the more you hear it, the more confident you will become with time.
2. You don’t understand why someone will be jealous
If you are in a relationship and your boyfriend is being jealous of every guy you talk to, it probably means that he can tell how guys perceive you, and he is feeling protective of you. If you are viewed as attractive and fun to be around, then he’d struggle to contain his jealousy.
You, on the other hand, will be absolutely oblivious of your power over men, and you might think your boyfriend is being completely irrational, which will probably result in some arguments with him.
What can you do?
Jealousy is not a nice trait in either gender, but when one party is hotter than they realize, then they probably don’t get how their behavior can be perceived as suggestive either. Be honest with your boyfriend and show him he has nothing to be insecure about, you are just coming to terms with your true, more good-looking self and that takes time.
3. You are a little clueless when it comes to flirting
If all you ever thought about yourself was that you are good at conversations and friendships, then suddenly being the object of desire might feel really strange to you, even scary! Especially if someone is flirting with you and expecting some sort of reaction from your side.
What can you do?
It’s truly adorable to be a little clueless when it comes to flirting, but you can practice! Next time a stranger chats you up in a bar, or a guy asks for your number, or someone wants to buy you a drink, think whether you are interested in them, instead of simply being shocked at the mere thought of someone being attracted to you! It’s really not such a crazy thought, is it!
4. You don’t look at yourself very closely
If you grew up just a little bit on the ugly duckling side, then you might not be used to staring at yourself in the mirror, or putting make-up on, or taking selfies, or any other expression of admiration for your own looks.
What can you do?
Forget how you used to feel about your looks, grab that mirror and take a good look today! What is it that you see in the reflection? A shy, unattractive girl, or a radiant young woman, full of confidence and worthy of love? Embrace your looks and stop hiding!
5. You think women are judging you
It’s hard being a girl, especially if you weren’t at all attractive or popular growing up. Chances are you’ve heard some nasty comments, or been rejected by guys, or felt left out. Or all of these!
What can you do?
First and foremost, accept your old you, and then focus on your new (much hotter) you here and now. She looks great and she knows it!
And if women are staring at you, it’s because you look hot (and they are envious), not because they wish to insult you, so get that nasty thought out of your head.
6. Using your looks
You know how this world works – it goes round and those confident enough to grab the opportunities presented to them, are the ones making the most of life. Have you recently found out that you can get nearly anything you ask for, or guys are ready to kill to get a date with you?
What can you do?
There’s no harm in using your looks once in a while to get your way, women have done this for millennia. Rely on your smarts and integrity as a whole, but don’t forget a little charm and feminine energy go a long way.
7. You can never tell when someone likes you
Even if he’s showing all the signs, and putting in a lot of effort, you might still friend zone him, because you just don’t know any better! It is a little adorable but you don’t want to be rejecting guys just because you don’t deem yourself attractive, do you?
What can you do?
It might go against everything your mum’s ever taught you, but you can just ask! He will appreciate the direct approach and will be able to be honest with you and just ask you out. You will save yourself wondering how he truly feels about you.
8. Make-up is a big mystery to you
Ugly ducklings usually grow up insecure and believing that whatever they do, they will stay unattractive. How have the tables turned, you might think! But actually, you remain just as clueless about girly stuff as ever, including make-up!
What can you do?
Make some time in your life to explore your femininity – the same for make-up and clothes! There’s no harm done in showing the world you’ve matured and blossomed! But make sure you wear make-up because you like it, and if you still prefer the natural look, then embrace it – it’ll definitely make you stand out from the crowd!
9. You value inner beauty more than good looks
Because you grew up focusing on your own inner beauty only, you value the same about others! It doesn’t mean that you aren’t attracted to beauty, you simply don’t care as much.
That might mean you go for more average-looking guys in your relationships, whilst hotties still pay a lot of attention to you.
What can you do?
Stay who you are! Because you have the best of both worlds, and you know what’s truly worth it!
10. You shine in so many ways
Growing up not so attractive meant that you probably focused a lot more on your inner beauty, intellect, hobbies, learning, friendships, the lot! And you grew up to be a great human being, who doesn’t just presume the world owes them something for their looks.
That’s a confident place to be in! But only with age, you will come to realize all the true benefits of growing up as an ugly duckling. You probably wanted to be the popular girl in school and have all the boys drool after you, but it’s not as glossy as it may look. Being pretty from an early age comes with pressure, and some girls never learn how to deal with it.
Not being attractive earlier in life probably meant you got protected from a lot of bad decisions, bad boyfriends, or bad influences in your life. It really is a double-edged sword!
And remember the ugly duckling syndrome is mostly an illusion because real beauty comes from the inside.
