Guys are giving up on dating! It’s time to raise the alarm!
You must be wondering, what is going on with guys? Why is it harder than ever to find someone to go on a date with, let alone have them stick around for even a few weeks?
Texting seems to make them bored in a matter of minutes. They don’t know how to act on a first date. Everything is kind of awkward and it’s getting worse…
You may be shocked to find out that the reason you’ve been single for a while now is not that there aren’t enough available guys, but because their hearts are not in it. It’s a shocking fact, but many guys are simply giving up on dating. It’s literally the last thing on their priority list.
Whether they feel crushed by social norms and expectations or have been hurt too many times, men all over the world are putting bromance, work, travel, and hustling before women and settling down.
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What’s behind this horrific trend?
You probably know exactly the type of guy we are describing here. You’ve got one in your circle of friends or family for sure. It’s the guy who says any or all of the following:
I am really busy with work right now.
I just don’t have time for a relationship.
I can’t be bothered with dating apps.
I don’t know what women want, I’d just rather chill…
She wasn’t that great, so I didn’t call her back.
It’s becoming more and more common.
There are many reasons why guys are feeling reluctant to date. Here are 12 reasons why guys are giving up on dating.
1. Dating and chivalry are confusing
Men feel certain pressures when they ask a girl out. They are expected not only to pick the best spot to take her to but to pay the bill, too. A girl can just show up, and she might not even appreciate the guy’s efforts.
Guys are being told left, right, and center that they need to treat women as their equal, and yet, when it comes to dating, all the antiquated conventions still apply. A guy can never know if he’s done it right or if he has failed miserably.
If no second date plans are made, or there’s no kiss at the end of the night, he can be almost certain he will never hear back from that woman.
Another confusing part of modern-day dating is that most women don’t even want to meet a guy until they’ve weighed in the pros and cons and had long chats online. They are pickier than ever and guys are starting to give up on waiting around.
A guy is constantly being compared to the other guys she’s chatting to, so it’s no wonder he won’t feel excited about taking a girl out. It can be a lot of pressure!
Women also tend to send hints that are nearly impossible for guys to interpret. No man can read minds, and yet he’s expected to know exactly what she means when she says she “doesn’t want a birthday gift.” (Of course, she does, she just doesn’t want to ask for it.)
2. Women choose the wrong guys
Men are told that if they are nice, they will get the girl, no matter what. Then their dream girl comes along, and she’s everything they ever wanted. But he is invisible, or friend-zoned, or basically someone she would never sleep with.
Women choose the wrong guys and stay with them for years. Then they get their hearts broken and move on to another guy, who’s exactly like the previous one. Good guys are giving up on dating because they never seem to win.
3. Once bitten, twice shy
A guy who’s giving up on dating is usually one who’s been hurt before, the one who just can’t get it right with a girl. The frustration alone can make any guy think twice before asking a woman out.
The truth is, most of the guys who give up on dating are good guys. They are kind, dependable, and sweet. And yet they usually fall for the woman who is after a certain type of guy – complicated, mysterious, a bit bad, and hot.
There is no way a nice guy can compete with that. At least that’s what he thinks. So with that mindset, he’d rather take a step back and focus on other things in life than be hurt again.
4. Girls are mean
One reason why guys are giving up on dating also involves the ladies.
How often have you noticed that the hotter a girl is, the meaner she is, especially to guys? It’s as if she’s allowed to because she knows how beautiful she is.
Mean girls are often the best-looking girls, and they tend to treat guys poorly. They might even toy with men and give them attention, only to mock them after.
It’s true that men chase, but women choose. It’s the oldest rule in the dating book. Why would guys want to put forth the energy when their efforts are only met with unkindness?
5. Guys can be lazy
Modern-day dating can be exhausting. Navigating dating apps and making small talk can literally take up all of one’s free time. Not only that, a guy could spend weeks talking to a girl he feels he’s got a great connection with, and then she ghosts him.
Dating can be so time-consuming and demanding that it’s no wonder a lot of guys are simply giving up on it. It’s often too much work for little or no reward.
6. Sex is easier than dating
Another reason guys are giving up on dating is that they just can. Getting laid is so easy that there’s no need to commit to buying someone dinner just to get some action after. Tinder and other apps are perfect for casual hookups.
A lot of guys prefer no-strings-attached relationships where they can keep their independence and options open. And surprisingly enough, a lot of women are preferring to the same and are in no rush to settle down either.
7. Work and entrepreneurship are becoming more important
When dating isn’t easy, guys choose to spend most of their time on their careers or hobbies. It’s an escape from the frustrations and disappointments of dating.
In this day and age, with the accessibility of the internet, it’s never been easier to start your own business or side hustle. But it can take up all your free time, so who has time for dating?
Dating can be incredibly distracting, so a lot of men are choosing their careers instead. Dating is also expensive, especially when you don’t live with your partner. You will be spending a considerable amount of your salary to simply meet up and do things together. It’s a big financial commitment.
8. Being cheated on is a killer
Let’s talk about the guys who got their hearts broken by someone who cheated on them. Cheating is one of the nastiest ways to end a relationship, and society still tells us that guys cheat more than girls.
A guy who’s been cheated on will be scarred for a while. He will feel totally rejected and worthless, and he might not be willing to open up to anyone new for the foreseeable future.
It will take a lot of convincing to get a guy like that willing to trust someone again.
9. The “Me Too” movement
The “Me Too” movement started as an opportunity for survivors of sexual abuse to speak out and see that they are not alone. It’s one of the most powerful movements of the modern age. It calls out systemic, global discrimination and abuse of women – both in life and the workplace.
But what the “Me Too” movement has achieved comes at a high price…men seem afraid to even speak to women anymore. Some men claim that they don’t dare chat up a woman in a bar anymore out of fear to be called out.
Misogyny in the workplace has always existed, but now more than ever men are afraid to even flirt. It’s becoming harder and harder to draw the line between old-school flirting and behavior that would be labeled inappropriate.
10. Long-term commitment is scary
Dating can be fun, but once a guy has had a few dates with the same woman, he knows a conversation is coming – the defining-the-relationship chat. And that can be scary!
Some guys opt out of dating because the idea of long-term commitment feels daunting. They would much rather play the field or have casual sex than have to commit to a relationship after a few dates with the same woman.
Keeping it casual seems a lot easier – they don’t have to worry about emotions getting in the way!
When a woman wants a serious relationship with a guy, she starts to make certain demands of him and have certain expectations. Not all guys want to meet those demands though, so they’d gladly break things off before it becomes too much.
11. A lack of femininity
Another reason so many guys are giving up on dating is that can’t find a woman with traditional feminine values. The third-wave feminism in Western society seems to have created a special breed of women, and not every man wants to be involved.
Women are stronger and a lot more masculine than ever before. They want a career, status, and success. In that sense, women are becoming more similar to how most men have been raised. And some men don’t find that sexy!
12. Some guys are just happier alone
Another reason why guys are giving up on dating is simply that they are just happier that way. No one can make you date if you don’t feel like it. And when you’ve had your fair share of disappointments, it just seems easier to stay clear of serious dating.
Should men give up on dating?
We are firm believers that no one should ever give up on dating. It’s true that a guy could struggle to connect with a good woman. He might struggle to open up after a breakup, but all hope is not lost.
One of the most incredible qualities women have is that they can make any man better. When a woman believes in a man and wants to truly see him happy, she will support him while he becomes his best self.
When a guy becomes better, the world around him instantly improves and he sees himself succeeding a lot more. It’s the law of attraction.
And at the end of the day, it’s love that makes life worth living. It’s having someone there for you at the end of a long, hard day. It’s having a loved one to tell all your deepest thoughts and secrets to.
It’s building a life with someone who just gets you and wants to be only with you. There’s so much joy in finding the right person, but that can’t happen if dating isn’t a priority.
As hard as it is to meet the right person, one should never stop looking.
