There are several reasons why someone would desire a boyfriend. Many want to feel special, loved, and wanted. Others seek safety and security – no longer wanting to be “alone.” Some simply long to have a family one day.
This article lists a few of the reasons why you may want a boyfriend and tips on how to get the one you deserve and desire.
1. Companionship
One reason why you desire a boyfriend is that you simply want some company. You want to live life with a special friend with whom you can spend memorable and intimate moments. Whether it’s cuddling on the couch, watching TV in front of the fireplace, or going hiking and camping, it is always better with a significant other.
You want someone you can trust, who makes you feel secure and special, like the only person in his world when you two are together.
You also want a boyfriend to listen as you share your thoughts, speak your mind, and, when needed, to share his perspective.
In short, you desire a companion who is there with you, maybe as a lifelong beau. A boyfriend to accompany you to family functions and social gatherings with friends. This partner will give you a sense of closeness and the companionship that comes from being with another person.
He is someone who always tries to impress you. He also seeks to make you laugh, has a great sense of humor, and endeavors to keep you smiling. A companion can help reduce stress, offer social engagement, and a physical connection. Lastly, you seek companionship from a boyfriend with whom you can pursue common interests. He helps to keep your mind active and keep you from experiencing social isolation.
2. Loneliness
Recent research has shown that lonely and isolated people are more likely to have heart disease, stroke, immune system problems, and may even have a more challenging time recovering from illnesses. It’s clear to see that loneliness is closely connected to depression and may even lead to premature death. Loneliness can have a wide range of adverse effects on a person, both physically and mentally.
Women often say they would have tried a trendy restaurant or gone to see a blockbuster movie, but they did not want to do it alone. So many have felt alone in the world and have no one to turn to for support. You often want to talk to someone just to talk. You are fed up trying to chat with friends who are too busy or unable to make time to speak with you.
Lonely people are often sad because they desire company. Friday and Saturday nights spent eating ice cream alone and watching Lifetime love stories on TV can be relaxing every now and then, however, if you are lonely and want a boyfriend, you get no joy out of it like you once did and feel unfulfilled.
Studies have shown that being with someone and having physical touch (such as holding hands) can expand trust in a relationship. Something you don’t get when you’re lonely. A boyfriend is someone to spend time with and offer some form of physical touch. His touch can inspire positive thinking, reduce social anxiety and stress, boost the immune system, and lower blood pressure.
3. You want to feel wanted
Women love to be wanted and desired by someone to whom they’re attracted. In fact, you want a boyfriend to express his desire for you – letting you know to some extent that there is a chance for the relationship to grow and be long-lasting.
You are not looking just for love in a boyfriend; you are looking for lust. You want to be wanted, need to be needed, and desire to be desired.
A woman does not go into a relationship simply to be loved – she goes into it to be longed for, sought after, and dreamed about. She wants to feel that there’s a man who has a magnetic attraction for her – the same as she does him.
4. You want to know if you’ve still “got it”
It is common to wonder what other people think when they see you. We can get in the habit of putting ourselves down, thinking we aren’t intelligent, interesting, or pretty enough. You want a boyfriend to prove you’ve still “got it.” You want to know if you can still turn heads as you once did in your 20s and 30s. You want to see who thinks you are still worth the effort to pursue.
You’re asking yourself, is there anyone who is boyfriend material? Someone who opens the door for you, or pick up something if you drop it? You wear your favorite dress and heels because you just want to hear and feel that you are beautiful.
The fact of the matter is this: You want a boyfriend because even on your worst days, you long for someone who still finds you attractive and irresistible. Just remember that it is what’s on the inside that matters the most. Self-confidence is key. People value things about your personality, too – the outside is icing on the cake.
Here are a few ways to know if you’ve still “got it.”
- Men are drawn to you.
- Men seek to protect you.
- Men act awkwardly around you.
- Men are shocked when you can’t take a compliment – they are surprised you don’t see the same thing in yourself as they do.
- Men stare at you.
5. You’re tired of being the third wheel
You are tired of being the “third wheel.” You go out with your friends who are in relationships, and it becomes very awkward very quickly. You feel out of place as you watch them holding hands, kissing, and sharing stories of their experiences together.
You won’t admit it, but secretly, you are jealous and desire a boyfriend of your own. You want what your friends have.
If something bad happens, they have each other for comfort. You have no one.
You’re tired of getting unsolicited relationship advice from them. Even worse, your friends assume you are lonely (which you are but wouldn’t tell them). These friends attempt to fix you up with someone you aren’t the least bit attracted to and criticize you on your appearance or personality to help you find a relationship. Again, it stinks being the third wheel, and you want a boyfriend.
6. There is someone you are currently interested in
You want a boyfriend because there is someone that you are interested in. Someone who you are very attracted to and find intriguing.
When you have a conversation with him, you stand or sit in the intimate zone (0–18 inches from him), leaning your body towards him. It is your way of trying to strengthen your connection with him.
While in that intimate zone, you try engaging in a lot of mutual eye contact. It makes you feel closer to him. You increasingly touch him flirtatiously in conversation to show him you are completely comfortable around him and want to get closer.
Other men approach you, but you are holding out hope for this guy who has captured your interest. You don’t just want a boyfriend – you want him. You have fantasized about what a life with him would be like.
7. You want to find a lifelong partner and start a family
You desire a boyfriend; someone you can discover is “the one.” You want to get married and live happily ever after. Or maybe, you just want someone to have children and start a non-traditional family with.
It has been such a long time since you have even been in a serious relationship. Although you long to be a mom, your biological clock is ticking, and you’re beginning to wonder if it’s ever going to happen for you.
You are at a place in your career where you have accomplished the things you have set your mind to, but a family would be icing on the cake. Your potential boyfriend would have to be just as ambitious as you. He would have to be loyal, dependable, hardworking, resourceful, funny, and attentive to your needs. You two would share the same interests, including having a family.
8. You crave romance
You get in bed late one night – feeling a little stimulated. You hug your pillow tightly, pretending it was the man who delivers your packages at work. Maybe he’s a client at work or a coworker. You begin kissing the pillow only to say to yourself, “This ain’t cutting it!”
You crave romance in the worst way and find yourself attracted to guys you wouldn’t usually be interested in.
You don’t want to come off as being too promiscuous. You want a boyfriend to be romantic with – someone to enjoy long walks on the beach with, to dine with in dimly lit restaurants, or take a long weekend trip with. You desire a thoughtful boyfriend who will buy you “just because” gifts, something that you have always wanted.
You want someone who will cook for you from time to time and buy you flowers and chocolates. A special guy who leaves little love notes, and when you’re together, he will tell you all the things he loves about you.
All those things go through your mind as you squeeze and kiss your pillow, thirsting for romance.
How to get a boyfriend
Now that we’ve discussed why you want a boyfriend, here’s how you get one.
- Be Confident – Be confident, someone and take care of yourself. Show men that you don’t “need” a boyfriend, but “want” one. Everyone wants to be wanted, especially a boyfriend.
- Stay active – Keep doing activities that fill your time and help you feel less lonely. While out and about, you may just find your boyfriend. He will see you enjoying life, totally in your element, or you may even realize you two have similar interests and hit it off.
- Be Open; it could happen any moment – You could be out walking your dog, in a business expo, or out with your friends at a restaurant. Put effort into your appearance and show off your beautiful smile when you see an attractive guy. He could be your next boyfriend.
- Be open to who you meet – Be open when considering guys who may be boyfriend material – whether you are viewing an online profile or a guy who has already asked you out on a date and shown interest. The guy who asked you out may work at the mechanic shop where you often take your car. You’ve only seen him covered head to toe in grease but who knows, he may clean up nicely. Be open to who you meet. Even if you go on a date with one of these guys and they aren’t boyfriend material, you could still become good friends.
- Flirt (DUH) – Flirting will make you feel good and give you confidence, boosting your self-esteem. It never hurts to show genuine interest and pay sincere compliments to someone. Flirting shows your playful side and your willingness to be present and in the moment. It may be the green light your potential boyfriend is looking for to ask you out. Most importantly, just be yourself.
- Make the first move – Ask him out! – If you’re interested, ask him out. Instead of waiting on an oblivious guy to notice your flirtatious vibes and gestures, simply invite him out to lunch or to grab some coffee. Some guys just need you to be blunt; they have no idea how you feel, even with subtle cues.
