A relationship can be one of the most rewarding experiences in life. A healthy, happy relationship may seem hard to come by, but it’s not impossible.
There are many things that can go wrong and lead to a breakup or divorce, but if you’re proactive about avoiding them, then your chances of staying together will increase exponentially.
In this post, we’ll discuss ten examples of relationship killers and how to avoid them, so you don’t have to deal with the pain and anguish they cause.
Table of Contents
1) Controlling behavior
One of the most common ways to nip a relationship in the bud is through controlling behavior. If you feel like your partner is trying to control your every move, then chances are it will lead to resentment and eventually break up or divorce.
The best way to avoid controlling behavior is by practicing assertiveness. If your partner tries to control you, then stand up for yourself and put them in their place.
If you’re the one being controlling, then you need to reevaluate your actions and figure out why you are behaving this way. Maybe you’re trying to control your partner’s every move because you’re afraid of them leaving. If this is the case, then it might be time for some serious soul-searching to evaluate why you feel so insecure in your relationship.
A healthy relationship requires trust and respect from both parties. It cannot happen if either party is controlling; this will only lead to resentment down the road.
It may seem like common sense now, but this relationship killer can sneak up on almost anyone if you let it get out of hand. Be proactive about avoiding controlling behavior so that both you and your partner can be happy!
2) Inconsistently showing love
Love can mean different things to different people. But for the most part, love is shown consistently in a relationship through small acts of kindness and consideration for your partner.
If you want someone to stay with you forever, then show them that they matter every single day without fail. If you’re always taking each other for granted and not showing love on an ongoing basis, it will eventually lead to resentment and break up or divorce down the line.
The best way to avoid this common relationship killer is simple: take time out of your schedule every single day just so you can tell your partner how much they mean to you!
Unfortunately, many couples make the mistake of only showing love on special occasions, like birthdays and anniversaries. You need to show love more often if you want your relationship to last.
The key is to keep the vibe alive by planning dates, using physical signs of affection, confessing your feelings on a frequent basis, and doing small acts of kindness.
3) Not communicating effectively
Once again, the best way to avoid this relationship killer is by being proactive. You need to communicate your feelings and emotions on a regular basis so that both you and your partner know where each other stands in the relationship.
This means expressing yourself with honesty, but also with tact! Don’t just blurt out all of your darkest fears without carefully thinking about what you’re going to say first. Also, don’t hold back important information just because you think it might make them feel uncomfortable.
A good rule of thumb for effective communication is asking yourself “will this help my cause?” If yes, go ahead and share accordingly, but if no, then maybe think twice before sharing something sensitive with another person.
Unfortunately, most couples let small annoyances build and build. They simply ignore the issue until it gets too much to handle. This doesn’t work out too well in the long run. Instead, take time out of your schedule to talk about these issues on a regular basis so that things don’t get blown out of proportion.
Relationships are not easy, and they will undoubtedly be problematic some days. But with effective communication, you can resolve any issue – without letting it build until both parties are ready to explode!
4) Failing to stay curious about each other
At the start of the relationship, you asked questions to learn more about the other person. But at some point in time, many couples stop asking questions and start taking each other for granted.
This is a major mistake because it means that both parties are not showing enough interest in each other anymore! You can’t expect things like love and respect if you’re only interested in yourself all of the time.
This happens to many couples that have been dating for a few years. They simply believe they already know who their partner is, so stop being curious and wanting to learn more.
It’s easy to get caught up in your own life down the line, but you need to take responsibility by being genuinely curious about your partner again.
5) Caught up in your own world
Once again, this all comes down to communication. If one or both parties are not interested in talking anymore, then that’s probably because they’re too busy with their own lives and interests.
This is actually good for short periods of time because it means you can still function as individuals even though you are romantically involved. But if this continues indefinitely, the negative effects will start to show up.
Many couples drift apart due to one or both partners emotionally neglecting the other. This leads them to look elsewhere for attention, either through work, hobbies, friends…or even another partner!
It might seem harmless now, but everything has consequences down the line. If you’re not on the same page when big decisions need to be made, then it’s highly likely that there will be problems down the line.
The best way to avoid this relationship killer is by being proactive and communicating with your partner more often. Ask them questions about themselves without criticizing how they answer so that both of you can learn new things about each other every day!
6) Constant negativity and criticism
It’s easy to get caught up in the negative things about your partner. Maybe they didn’t do something that you had asked them, or maybe it’s just a bad day and nothing is going how you’d planned.
No matter how small or insignificant these little things might seem on their own, if they’re happening consistently over time, then there will be problems. Try not to focus on all of their flaws, instead focus on what makes them amazing people with so many great qualities!
Pointing out every mistake they make without acknowledging any of the good deeds is discouraging, to say the least. It doesn’t make people feel appreciated for who they are at all, which can lead to low self-esteem and resentment.
It’s important to be an active listener when your partner is venting or talking about their problems, whether it has anything to do with you specifically or not. This will make them feel like someone understands where they’re coming from and cares enough to listen without judging.
7) Money issues
Money issues are one of the most common sources of problems in relationships.
When you first start dating, it might be easy to put your differences aside and enjoy each other’s company without worrying about how much money is spent or where all that money is coming from.
But once bills come into play, so do debt problems, which can cause both parties a lot of stress down the line, depending on what happens with their financial situation.
This relationship killer becomes even more prominent if there are kids involved because they have needs too. Often when kids are involved, only one parent works while the other stays home to take care of the little ones.
This puts an immense amount of pressure on the working partner, who will eventually resent having less time for themself since they’re constantly taking care of everyone else.
The best way to avoid this relationship killer is by having a couple’s budget that both parties agree on and stick with. This will keep any spending from going overboard because you’ll have an understanding of what can be bought with the allocated monthly amount.
8) Not helping with chores and other tasks
When you first start dating, it’s easy to not notice that the other person isn’t doing their fair share of work around the house. Maybe they’re just playing video games while you cook and clean up after you both…
If this goes on for a long time without any change in behavior, the person cleaning will feel like the other is taking advantage of them or purposely avoiding helping out.
This causes tension between both parties and can lead to fights that may end with one person storming out of the house…or into someone else’s arms!
The best way to avoid this relationship killer is by figuring which tasks are the responsibility of each partner. This way, there are clear expectations in place and each person knows what they are held accountable for.
For example: If one partner makes the lunch every day while the other does housework (or vice versa), then there’s no tension because everyone is doing their bit.
9) Not trusting each other
Without trust, it’s impossible to have a healthy relationship. In fact, trust allows you to build strong foundations that will bind both parties together for years to come.
If one person is constantly suspicious or jealous without any evidence or proof, then this can cause major problems. It simply puts an end to any idea of a long-term relationship.
It may take some time to build, but it’s important to arrive at a point when you both trust each other unconditionally.
The best way to avoid this relationship killer is by being honest with your partner from the start about how important trust means for you in a long-term commitment. This will help shape their behavior throughout the length of the relationship so that they know when boundaries are crossed or pushed.
Never break promises or say something unkind or hurtful. It’s easy to make mistakes in this department, but you need to keep your eye on what needs to change if you want a healthy long-term relationship.
10) Codependency
If you’re codependent, then your self-esteem will be extremely low. You’ll rely on someone else to make decisions for you and won’t try to do anything that might upset them or cause problems in the relationship.
This can become a serious problem if you’re constantly giving in to what your partner wants or expecting them to change the way that they treat you.
Codependency is extremely damaging and will eventually lead to one person feeling unhappy with their relationship…causing it to come crashing down!
The best way to avoid this relationship killer is by trying new things and not being so afraid of upsetting someone else. If something doesn’t go according to plan, then simply laugh about it and move on without getting upset at each other for making mistakes.
It’s also important to be aware of your self-worth and not let anyone make you feel less than who you are. You need to take responsibility for yourself, no matter what the other person does or says.
Conclusion
If you want a healthy and fulfilling relationship, the key is to show love every single day without fail. Make time for your partner, be honest and communicative, and support them in their efforts and you’ll have the key components to a happy, long-term relationship.
