We’ve all been there – crushing and pining over a man who seems too good to be true. The Prince Charming, the man of your dreams – the last person you think of when you sleep at night, and the first person you think of when you wake – this man has seemingly taken over your thoughts.
But unfortunately, that isn’t the tricky part. The problem is that he just doesn’t know you have feelings for him – while you’re left screaming inside, asking him why he doesn’t see just how much you adore him.
So, what should you do? Keep reading for a guide on what to do when you want to tell a guy you like him, and why it’s okay for you to make the first move!
Table of Contents
Here’s Why It’s Hard to Admit Your Feelings
You’re Afraid of Making the First Move
Logic, movies, and culture dictate that boys are supposed to fall fast and hard in love – not the other way around.
They should fall in love with the playful innocence of your eyes and how beautiful you look when you smile. They’re the ones who should be throwing a lasso around the moon for you.
You Think You’ll Seem Desperate
A big problem with how society shapes it out to be is the culture of carelessness. Girls are worried that if they make the first move, they’ll become the butt of a cruel joke – and be subjected to laughter, rejection, and humiliation.
You’re Waiting for a Fairytale
Even the least romantic girl wants a fairy tale in the bottom of her heart. You want the grand gestures or love at first sight, and think that confessing your feelings will take away that “fairytale romance”.
The truth is, a fairy tale romance isn’t always about grand gestures or love at first sight. Most of it is about mutual understanding and a friendship that can double up as a romance.
You’re Unsure of His Feelings
Another weird new trend with society’s culture of obliviousness is that people very seldom confess their feelings for a person, and when they do, it’s usually incoherent and awkward.
You don’t know how he feels about you, and don’t want to be rejected. You’re afraid of ruining the image of the two of you that you’ve build up in your mind.
The Influence of Popular Media
Think of your favorite romantic comedy or favorite artist, or even your favorite celebrity couple. All around us, popular culture and media are filled with examples of grand romantic gestures and happily ever after.
These gestures are typically made by the “alpha male” who falls head over heels in love with a girl, and will do anything to get her. This has made the average girl believe that she’s doing something wrong if she makes the first move.
It’s Okay For Girls to Make the First Move
While it is completely fine to wish for the perfect fairytale romance by the ideal man, it’s also a great idea to take our romantic life into our own hands. Girls in love shouldn’t care about what popular culture dictates, and just go with what their heart want them to do.
Not caring is considered “cool”, so we go out of our way to prove we care the least – but that actually damages us from the inside, and makes us feel like frauds. Because we can’t even deal with our own feelings, it’s hard for us to acknowledge someone else’s.
Girls should make the first move because it oozes confidence and self-assurance. And what could be sexier than that? It’s actually one of 11 Things That Every Man Looks For in a Woman and is a way to Instantly Become More Attractive to Men!
Before You Confess Your Feelings…
- Assess How You Really Feel About Him
Professing your love for someone is a big step, and you should only take it once you are completely sure you want to do it.
Do not confess your feelings to someone who might be just a fleeting crush or because you haven’t a crush in very long or even because of peer pressure. Be sure to take your feelings into account before jumping the gun.
- Churn The Rumor Mill
This might be a less-than-direct route, but it is effective. If you want to gauge his feelings for you, you can just tell your more gossipy friends that you like him. Then just wait a couple of days till everyone’s talking about it. It will only take some time for the news to reach him too.
His reaction will tell you exactly what he thinks about you.
- Ask a friend to ask Them about them. A surefire way to know whether he likes you is to ask a friend to ask what he thinks about you. If he laughs it off or denies it, then your answer is clear. Although it sounds disappointing, it’ll save you a lot of embarrassment in the long run.
- Check if he’s romantically involved with someone else. And by this, we mean he may be in a relationship with someone, may be crushing on someone else, or may be getting over someone he was once involved with. If so, steer clear of making a move because he isn’t available.
- Be prepared for the possibility of rejection. Understand the reality that your confession might turn out exactly how you’ve planned it out in your head.
20 Sweet and Fun Gestures That’ll Show Him You Like Him
1. Follow Him on Social Media
Let the potential man of your dreams know that you like him by sending him a follow request on Instagram or a friend request on Facebook.
Most guys will send you a follow request right back and viola – the beginning of a beautiful friendship (and hopefully more!). Just ensure that your social media profiles are up-to-date and showcase your best side.
2. Slip into His DMs
Boys who like us typically try to strike up a conversation by replying to our IG stories or commenting on our pictures or posts.
If that’s the love language he speaks, then you should speak it too. If he posts a lovely photograph of himself, comment something fun or flirty that’ll get his attention.
3. Start Simple Conversations
If this is a guy you see every day at school, college, or work, try to pluck up the courage to talk to him. Nobody expects you to blurt out your feelings right off the bat, building rapport first will help him see you as a potential mate.
Pro-Tip: Keep the conversations simple and light – and try to make them revolve around him. Guys eat that up!
4. Give Him Undivided Attention
When you do talk to him, whether in person or online, try to make him feel loved. Make jokes and lighthearted puns, and make it seem as though there’s no one else in the world you’d rather talk to (without seeming “clingy”!).
If the man is any smart, he’ll put two and two together, and pick up the subtle hints you are dropping him.
5. Compliment Him
Contrary to popular belief, even the most “macho” or popular men receive little to no compliments.
If you truly like him, you might’ve picked up on his delightful idiosyncrasies. Surprise him by complimenting him on something no one else sees – for instance, how his nose scrunches up when he’s focusing too hard.
6. Show Up To Events He Cares About
Most people forget that the most powerful form of love is a strong bond of friendship. Nothing will make him see how much you like him better than showing up to something he cares about.
For example, if he has a football match coming up, wear the team jersey and say hi from the stands. If he likes to sing, show up to the seedy bar he performs in even when nobody else does.
7. Improve Your Texting Game
Texting is the most used form of communication, and while you can’t see each other every day, you can text back and forth. Check out 11 Foolproof Ways to Make a Man Chase You Through Text.
For him to like you back, you need to have an irresistible online persona. Be attentive, be fun, and most of all, be understandable. Nobody wants to receive texts full of typos or lame emojis.
8. Flirt a Little
Whether you’re texting or talking in person, remember to turn your flirt on. Try to send him texts that hint that you’re available if he says the word. This is actually one of 20 Surefire Ways to Get a Guy to Notice You.
Text him when you think he looks good or smells good by being coy, but direct. Ask him what he’s looking for in a girl. If he hasn’t been living under a rock, he’ll understand exactly what you’re trying to say.
9. Be There for Him
The best way to concrete yourself as someone important in his life is by being there when he most needs a friend. Let him vent about his problems and be the confidante he’s comfortable sharing his most intimate issues with.
10. Tell Him Directly
This one is bold, brave, and only for the brave at heart. If you feel like you don’t want to play coy games or drop hints, you can just tell the guy you like that you like him.
Ask him to meet you alone or take him for dinner, and you could even do it over text. But remember: no sappy, over-the-top romantic confessions – because that might just make him queasy.
11. Remember the Tiny Details
When you talk to someone a lot or hang out with them regularly, you learn about their unique habits. For example, you might know exactly how much sugar he takes with his coffee or how he uses the “bunny ear” method to tie his shoelaces.
Whatever the tiny details might be, notice them, remember them, and subtly slip them into the conversation so that he knows that you’re definitely into him.
12. Give Him a Meaningful Gift
If you’ve successfully understood his likes and dislikes and the tiny secrets he keeps to himself, it is time to give him a gift he’ll cherish.
If, for instance, he likes comic books, find a vintage comic book he might like. If he likes to wear sportswear, buy him a jersey with his initials and favorite number on it.
13. Ask Him if He’s Single
This is the most direct way to be indirect about liking someone. Even the most clueless boy on Earth will be able to tell that you have feelings for him if you ask if he’s single.
Nobody asks another person if they’re single or in a relationship if they’re not interested in them. However, try to keep it subtle and classy.
14. Be Playful Around Him
Most guys show their love for you by being physically affectionate. To tell a guy you like him, you could be a little physically affectionate too.
This type of physical affection needs to be subtle, yet precise. For example, when you’re hanging out, smile, wave, and hug him when he arrives. While talking, lightly touch his hand or maybe let your thigh rest against his.
15. Write Him a Love Letter
Sure, we know – you aren’t Juliet, and he isn’t Romeo. But you can be!
Surprise him and confess your feelings by going old school. Write your feelings in the simplest, most poetic way you know how, and confess what you feel about him. Try to write about the feelings he gives you and how you feel when you look at him.
16. Tell Him You Miss Him
One of the weirdest ways love works is in the absence of the lover. The less you see them, the more you want them.
If you haven’t seen him in quite a while, drop a text telling him you miss him. Just be careful not to write a sappy paragraph.
17. Bond With His Friends
Be the center of his attention by becoming a part of his friend group. Hang out with his friends and have casual bonds with all of them. When he sees how much they like you, he’ll feel the love for you blossom in his heart too.
18. Laugh at His Jokes
This one is the best way to get him to say yes to your confession of love. Once he sees how well you understand his sense of humor, he’ll automatically start considering the idea that the two of you are meant to be.
19. Ask for His Help
Men love helping women out in physically laborious tasks. We guess it’s evolution or maybe just hardwired into them.
Whatever the reason might be, ask for his help in a task – even if it is something menial, like opening a can of Coke.
20. Plan a Romantic Confession
This one is for the ladies who are writing their romantic comedy. If you can’t wait any longer and want to tell him just how much you love him, then take him to a surprise romantic picnic or the beach and confess your feelings to him.
The Bottom Line
Congratulations on falling in love! It’s a rollercoaster of emotions. It’s a brave decision to step out of your comfort zone and to pursue the guy, instead of the other way around.
However, just remember that your self-worth is not defined by what happens, no matter what his reaction is.
