Have you ever been ghosted by a guy you were supposedly in a relationship with, only for him to send you a text after some weeks or months later?
Or did you get a text from an ex that broke up with you asking how you are?
Excitedly, you reply, thinking he wants to get back together with you.
But then you get ghosted.
He disappears without replying.
He does this exact thing repeatedly.
The fourth time he does it, you get mad and want to know WTF is going on?
If he is thinking about you as he says, why doesn’t he reply you and then show up months later with another text like a bot?
Should you text him back?
Before you call in your girlfriend or co-worker for advice, you need to know that men and women think quite differently.
When a guy texts you randomly, don’t try to assess his actions from a woman’s perspective.
And certainly don’t expect anything from him just because he texted you.
Most women get flattered when guys they were previously involved in reach out to them.
They get curious and hopeful of another go at their past relationship.
While most women try not to reveal their feelings in what they say or how they act, it is quite different for men.
The reasons behind their actions are usually not as deep or serious as you may think.
This is not to imply that they don’t have deep feelings, but you should know that what motivates their actions lay just under the surface.
Treat it as such.
They are more direct most of the time than women and simpler to understand if you know what to watch out for.
If a guy is texting you randomly months after breaking up with you or ghosting you, it may be for one of these reasons.
1. He is feeling lonely
If you broke up with your ex recently, you might get a text from him after 3-4weeks of no contact.
He may send a;
What’s up? OR
How are you? OR
I was thinking of you…
This is because he is used to speaking to you every day. So when you are not talking all the time, he is going to feel very lonely.
If you dated for an extended period, he is going to miss little texts you used to send like;
“How are you doing?
“How was your day?”
It may sound flattering that it is you he reaches out to when he is lonely, but your reply may serve as an ego boost to him, and you’ll get no response after you text him back.
This is because when you text back, it enhances his confidence in his masculine attraction.
It shows him you are still interested in him, so it allows him to move on as he sees no reason for him to continue chatting with you.
2. He is tipsy
Drinking does funny things to our minds when it goes on for long enough.
If your ex is still not over you or he thinks about you once in a while, you may hear his drunken voice out of the blue professing his love for you.
Or perhaps in a fuzzy, romantic, drink-induced state of mind, he craves the attention of a lady, or the presence of one in his life or yours in particular, and sends you a text.
You get texts like these late at night or in the wee hours of the morning when the party went wrong or is not going so well.
You may get texts like;
“I’m sooooo drunk.”
“U still up?”
“Remember that time we…? Hope you’re well!”
Or a couple of emojis like some martini glasses, salsa dancer, and wink smileys.
At that moment, texting you may seem like a great idea.
But as the morning after dawns brightly, a migraine pounding on his skull, it may not seem such a great idea after all.
It is most likely that you will not hear from him again for months till he drunk-texts you again.”
3. He wants to have sex with you
If you had a sexual relationship with your ex, that involved a lot of passionate chemistry. When he feels lonely, he may text you hoping to ease some of the loneliness with the passion you used to have between you.
Or he may call you, sounding sad, hurting, or something else.
Not saying all calls like these are not genuine.
It could be real, fake, or a mix whereby he is missing your body, not necessarily you.
Usually, guys are known to play the sympathy card solely to get sex, especially in situations like this.
The physical and emotional connection between you and your ex will take a while to diminish.
So both of you may be needing the quick fix of sex to ease up the pain of your healing.
When you get texts like it that, it may stir up your desire for each other.
Before you know it, you’re wide awake in his bed, wondering WTF you just did.
If he is texting late at night, being flirtatious, wanting to swap nudes, or wants you to come over to his place in the night, it’s most likely he wants sex.
This doesn’t mean he wants to get back together, and having sex with him won’t make him fall in love with you again.
Instead, it could hurt the possibility of you getting back together if you have sex with him outside a relationship.
It could make him feel like you are a lady that sleeps around. And he will not see any need to put an effort with you if he wanted to previously.
While guys like easy, no strings attached sex, they don’t like having relationships with ladies who do.
If you get a booty call text from a guy that ghosted you or an ex, delete it.
It is not worth your time or energy.
Ladies guys pursue ignore such texts.
4. You popped up randomly in his thoughts, or something reminded him of you
Have you ever seen something or visited a place that reminded you of someone?
It happens to everyone, so a guy that ghosted you or broke up with you may remember something about you and send you a random text to say he was thinking about you.
Or he could text you and say he was thinking about you if he remembers something, a pleasant memory you both share that made him miss you.
It is what it is that he was thinking of you and nothing more.
And it is usually short-lived, so don’t attach much meaning to random texts from a guy.
5. He just ended another relationship
When guys end relationships, it is not unusual to see him reach out to one of his exes, no matter how brief the contact is, just to feel loved again.
If a man texts you out of nowhere, it may be that he just broke up with someone and remembers you fondly.
So he reaches out to see what is up with you as a way to take his mind off the ache of the breakup for a while.
As soon as he is better, you won’t hear any more from him.
It sucks to be used by guys this way after months or years of no contact, but it is quite common.
Whether or not your previous contact ended nicely, he can chat you up for a few hours after a break up to get an ego boost or a reconciliation with you since his last relationship fell apart.
In this type of situation, it means nothing, honestly.
Such texts are not to be taken seriously.
6. He wants you back for real
It can be a little bit tricky to figure out when a guy wants to get back together with you.
That is why this is the reason you should consider last.
If he apologizes, wants to discuss the reasons behind what happened, wants to make it up to you, or in general does things to get back in your good graces, it may be that he wants to get back together.
You may get texts like
“I miss you. I was wrong…”
“I made a mistake.”
“I love you baby, can you take me back?”
It could also be that he was scared to contact you earlier, and that is why you got a text right when you were almost done getting over him.
But no matter what reason why he came back months later, it is best to be cautious.
Be friendly and open-minded. Hear him out.
Maybe he wants to have a relationship with you, even if it is not a romantic one.
But don’t expect that anything is going to happen.
Whatever it is going to be, it will be a wise choice to wait a while and watch, especially if you liked him a lot or still do.
You don’t want to waste your emotional energy on a guy who is likely to run off again.
If it works out and he really wants to be with you, you may have a future with him.
7. He is feeling guilty about how things ended with both of you
If your ex feels guilty about how things ended between you, he may reach out with a text like this.
“I am sorry I…”
“I made a mistake.”
“You deserve better.”
“I want to apologize for…”
“I wish I had never…”
You might get these a week or two after your breakup, especially if the split had something to do with his wrong actions.
If he cheated on you, asked for the breakup, or ghosted you for a long time, you might get a text filled with guilt from him.
Texts like these help clear or soothe his conscience about what happened and makes him feel less guilty about the breakup.
8. He misses your friendship
If he was truly your friend or you both had fun in each other’s company, his text may be a sign that he misses your company and the great friendship you had
It could happen after a few weeks to months
This may sound good to you, but it may not be such a good idea if you don’t want to be just a friend.
If he is texting to ask for advice on other women, complain about his problems, or he talks to you like one of his dudes, he most likely misses you as his friend.
The more friendly and available you are, the more he sees you like a sister and not someone to have a relationship with.
Whatever reason why a guy is texting you randomly, try not to attach much meaning to his texts.
Be open-minded and try to understand the motive behind his texts.
But if you are not interested in further communication, ignore him.
If he is not serious about talking to you, you may not hear from him till he sends another random text.
If he is serious about it, he will stick around till he can get you to talk to him and you have some meaningful relationship going on again.
Get involved with something more fulfilling.