You’ve been with the same man for what feels like forever. You’ve shared so much together, grown and learnt as a couple, and as individuals. You’ve been through thick and thin, and so far have withstood the test of time.
You’re a power couple. Your love is unshakable – one that others aspire to have, but only a few have achieved. Congratulations! You’ve got what everyone out there wants!
But what happens when a couple settles in together, and the excitement of The Chase and the flirting is over? You start to feel like there’s something missing in your relationship, and you can’t quite pinpoint what it is!
Netflix and takeout just won’t cut it anymore. You need more.
If you feel like you need to do something to spice things up, read on for the 8 best ways to keep your relationship exciting, and avoid getting stuck in a love rut!
1. Don’t forget the power of texting.
One of the things that become dead familiar in a long-term relationship is texting, or the lack thereof. At the start of the relationship, all you wanted to do was text that special someone, and stay up late thinking about him,
Now, the most exciting text you get from him is something along the lines of:
- Want takeout tonight?
- Red or white wine?
- Going out for a beer with the guys, don’t wait up.
What happened? When did you stop texting each other throughout the day, just to say “hello”, “I miss you”, or “I love you”?
Use the power of texting to remind him of you while he’s at work or he’s out without you. It can be incredibly exciting and surprising to get a text mid-day that says something sexy, or funny.
You’ll both feel desired by each other, which is an incredible turn-on. Try it for a week – and watch excitement come back into play.
2. Make time for surprise date nights.
Date nights are essential to a long-term relationship, but can be hard to schedule and plan – especially when both partners are working and constantly feeling like they’re racing against time.
A date night becomes a luxury no one seems to have time for anymore. Don’t let that happen to you! That’s where boredom and resentment can grow.
When you know you’re both free, that there’s nothing good on TV, and you both don’t feel like cooking, meeting up somewhere in town can be incredibly exciting, and practical.
It could literally be the highlight of your week! Next time you want to keep your relationship exciting, text your partner just before the end of the workday and tell him where to meet you.
You don’t even need to give him too many details. Surprise him, and just say that you’ll be waiting for him.
Make a little bit of an effort before the date, even if that means putting on a pair of heels and some red lipstick. It’ll transform your look from day to night, and will make you look and feel so much more desirable, which is key here.
3. Spend time with other couples.
Feeling stuck in a rut in your own relationship probably feels incredibly frustrating, but there are always clever ways around it. One of them is by simply spending time with other couples.
You don’t know how well you’ve got it until you start spending time with other couples. This isn’t about comparing yourself or wanting to uncover other couple’ issues.
The goal is to simply bring some perspective to your relationship, and have some fun with like-minded people.
The occasional double date or simply cooking dinner for another couple in your place can do wonders for your excitement levels. Open your home and your mind to things you can learn from others.
Another couple might also be extremely open about how they deal with the daily loss of excitement and might give you a really good advice. You don’t have to fight all battles on your own!
4. Get out of your couple comfort zone.
They say that comfort is where dreams go to die – and in long-term relationships, this can’t be more true.
If you’ve accepted that nothing new or exciting could possibly happen, you’re wrong! There’s so much more to life than sitting on the couch watching Netflix, and you know it. You just need to make the conscious effort to find time and energy for it.
Find something new for the two of you to try together. Perhaps a fun activity you’ve been hearing about everywhere, or a virtual class at home if you aren’t quite so brave about venturing out.
Bringing novelty into the relationship will help you relax and also have fun, and a shared activity is just what you need.
Pick something that is new and challenging, that both of you don’t know how to do or have never done – especially together.
5. Create goals and a bucket list as a couple.
If your relationship feels terribly predictable, it’s up to you two to improve that. One of the ways to bring something new and exciting to your relationship is to establish a set of goals together and create a plan for reaching them.
Creating a bucket list as a couple will make you feel like there’s something to look forward to that you can encourage each other to achieve. This can be anything, including picking up a new hobby together, going on an adventurous trip, or renovating the house.
An amazing goal a lot of couples choose is simply saving a certain amount of money towards a shared experience or purchase. It may not feel like a lot, but the process of doing it will bring renewed excitement – and achieving it will bring even more.
The beauty of it, is in sharing the goals and supporting each other along the way.
Perhaps start a bucket list together by each adding 3 things. This will help you see what your partner is focused on, and what he might be missing in the relationship and in his life.
Then, prioritize and set some due dates for your goals!
6. Go away for the weekend.
Couples who’ve been together forever tend to underestimate the power of regular getaways. Instead of scheduling regular breaks together, they may be more inclined to have one big holiday a year.
The downside to that is having to wait a year – and then it feels like it passes in a heartbeat. You come back from an amazing vacation, but feel depressed that you have no more trips to look forward to for a whole year.
If you want to keep your relationship exciting, make the effort to get away often. A change of scenery always does wonders for how you feel together.
Whether it’s a spa day in a nearby town, renting an Air-BNB, a road trip, or camping, make sure you find the time to do it.
7. Give your partner space.
It may sound counterproductive at first, but it actually makes a lot of sense, especially in long-term relationship. We all want closeness, and crave to find that special someone who we can be ourselves with – someone who’ll always be there to protect us and spend a lot of time with us.
Unfortunately, there it is possible to have too much closeness. Two individuals need space and time alone to find that true balance in their partnership.
This doesn’t mean avoiding each other – rather, just ensuring you’re still individuals and that your life isn’t all about the relationship.
Sometimes the best thing you can do to keep your relationship exciting, is simply to give your partner a day off from each other. Same goes for you! You’ll enjoy time with other people, and will then be excited to see each other again and share your experiences.
8. Show each other affection daily.
When was the last time you and your partner kissed? We mean a real steamy kiss, not just that “good night honey” peck. When was the last time you held each other and truly kissed, for more than a few seconds?
Try to do it more often. Make time to show each other affection every day. Showing physical affection is as easy as holding hands, scratching his back, or cuddling – but it certainly can’t be replaced with anything else.
Physical touch releases feel-good hormones, helps relieve stress, and improves our mood instantly. Couples who spend more time together and have more physical intimacy report a higher relationship satisfaction.
The Bottom Line
Strong relationships don’t just happen. They’re the result of hard work and a lot of commitment. The relationships that really thrive are ones where the two partners don’t take each other or what they have for granted.
Instead, they acknowledge that they still need to put in time and effort to bring excitement, novelty and fun into a long-term relationship.
If you feel like your relationship is getting stuck in a rut, remember that it only takes a bit of energy and a little bit of planning, and you’ll have a lot more excitement straight away.