You’ve done the deed. You met a guy online, either on Tinder or Facebook, or even had a one-night stand with a bar hookup. You’d think you’d be over him, but you’re not – and now you’re wondering how to make him chase you after you’ve already slept with him.
Read on to find out how to do just that!
Table of Contents
1. Set Boundaries
This all depends on you and your desires. What do you want out of this hookup? Do you want him to chase you for more sex, or do you want him to chase you to go on actual dates and possibly form a relationship? It’s important to figure this out early on.
Be upfront about your wishes and set boundaries early on.
2. Don’t Be Too Available
Being available 24/7 for someone else is never a good thing. Even if you were in a relationship with him, that doesn’t mean having to answer their desires all hours of the day (or, ahem, night).
Let your one-night stand know you’re not going to be available hand and foot for all of their requests. You also don’t want to be on the other side of that coin and be demanding and intrusive.
Learn to keep doing what’s important to you without having to drop everything at a minute’s notice for someone else. This will make him chase you… and savor every minute once they catch you!
3. Be Yourself
It’s hard to keep up appearances, and even harder to keep up lies that you tell about yourself. In fact, it’s fairly easy for your hookup/date to tell you’re lying.
Lying about yourself can make someone lose interest in you, view you as untrusting, and make them not want to hook up with you again.
Worse yet, you ruin the trust you could have had in a relationship later on. Keep lies to a minimum (including those fake orgasms)!
4. Respect His Limits
If your hookup wants to keep things casual, he has every right to tell you without you hurting his feelings. The same can be said for your hookup if they want to go on more dates and hook up less often.
Respecting his limits can be a great way to set the tone for a casual relationship that also has mutual benefits. Don’t ever force someone to hook up more than they want to.
You can respect his limits while also respecting your boundaries as well.
5. Find Time for Fun
Hooking up can be fun, but it’s not the only thing in the world. Sex is a great outlet for stress, but so is going out with your friends and family.
Find time to do what makes you happy, and continue to make him chase you in between your life. The more he sees you’re committed to your fun, the more he’ll want to chase you for not just sex – but to join you in on your daily activities!
6. Don’t Play Mind Games
Contrary to popular belief, no one likes to have mind games played on them. Ignoring someone for 3 hours or purposefully ignoring calls doesn’t lead to anything except disappointment.
A simple text back saying “I’m busy,” or “I don’t feel well today,” is much better than simply ignoring someone if you’re not up to hooking up.
Not giving in to mind games will make you seem mature, grown, and so worth the wait.
7. Don’t Settle
True, you hooked up with him. But depending on your values, you might not want to settle down and stop your search for “the one.”
Luckily, you don’t have to! If your hookup sees you having fun with other people, or even knows you’re not looking to stop dating, this hurts their ego.
Men love to have their ego stroked, but if you’re not willing to give up your freedom, just say no and don’t settle down. This will drive him crazy…and amp up his desire to chase you and beat out his competition.
8. Stop Stalking Him
Stalking is never okay. Just like you wouldn’t want some creep stalking your social media, family, or following you, you shouldn’t stalk your hookup.
Believe it or not, there are several signs of stalking that he can pick up on. Constantly being where they are, knowing the information you shouldn’t, and always being up-to-date on someone’s life are all red flags.
Put down the cell phone and get off his Instagram! Make him feel like he has something new to say (and do) next time he sees you.
9. Be Spontaneous
It’s important to be spontaneous in any relationship. However, in the first phase of dating and hooking up, it’s even more important to stay fresh and have new ideas.
Whether it’s wanting to go ice-skating before your steamy session, hooking up in public (which is illegal, but who’s asking?), or watching porn while hooking up, it’s nice to be spontaneous with or without sex.
Being spontaneous will have him chasing you for adventure in and out of the bedroom.
10. Have Sex Appeal
No one wants to hook up with someone who doesn’t excite them sexually. Although you might have had a one-night stand, keep up your sex appeal through confidence, sexy outfits, and glamour.
Although it’s important to be your true self when you want to get into a relationship, guys want to keep chasing what is desirable to them. If your sex appeal continues to be part of your daily wear, who wouldn’t want a piece?
11. Keep the Energy High
Hooking up can be tiring, but, guys still want to have someone fun and high energy to chase around. If you feel your sexual appetite is dwindling, consider doing more exercise or even talking to a doctor.
Changes in mood and hormones can affect a woman’s sex drive, but don’t let that stop you from getting your hookup to chase you. Keep up the high energy and work on your health!
(An important note: Don’t forget that it’s okay not to want to have sex! If you find that you’re not attracted to him anymore, you might want to move on to someone else.)
12. Consider Pillow Talk
Depending on who you are, it’s safe to say that no one wants an awkward, quiet silence after a hookup.
Not only can awkward silence be a killer to self-confidence, but it can also stop your hookup from wanting to continue having sex with you.
Listen to what he wants after sex. Does he talk about his day? Sleep over? Cook your breakfast? Does he want seconds? If you want to, match his energy after a hookup to keep him coming back for more.
13. Have Fun with Foreplay
Just like no one wants an awkward moment after sex, no one wants an awkward foreplay session either.
For women, foreplay is essential since it gets us moist enough to have intercourse without it feeling painful or uncomfortable. For men, getting an erection isn’t the only part of having great sex.
Consider what he wants in his foreplay, whether it’s teasing or a make-out session beforehand. Matching his desires will keep him coming back for more.
14. Consider Threesomes
If you’ve already set your mind to wanting to keep this hookup casual, who says you can’t add one more? If you’ve always wanted to try something new, like a threesome, doing it with a trusted hookup partner might be the perfect chance.
Plus, it might also open the doors of your sex life if you choose to take your hookup to the next level. Make his wildest, threesome dreams come true… then have him stick around for some one-on-one time.
15. Explore your Desires
Why stop at threesomes when there’s a world of sexual desires to explore?
If you like BDSM, pain, enjoy role-playing, want to try adult nursing, have a foot fetish (or any other), ask your hookup to help you make all those fantasies a reality?
Having a hookup that’s able to comfortably share his sexual wishes with you is not only great for your sexual encounters, but it can also form a special bond between both of you.
16. Never Stop Seducing Him
If you both have established boundaries, keep seducing him throughout the day or week. If you trust him enough, send him sexy pictures or videos for him to enjoy as a mini snack before the full course.
Or better yet, keep it safe for work and stick to steamy sexting sessions or late-night phone sex. Whatever it is that turns him on, keep seducing him and reminding him just why he should keep chasing you well after that first hot hookup.
17. Say No When You Feel Like It
It’s important to talk about consent when hooking up. No one wants to hook up with someone and feel guilty that they went way further than they should have, after the fact.
Let him know when you’re not up for hooking up. Even in the middle of sex, remember you can always say no to him. This will make him view you as someone who has her own feelings and limitations and will make him respect you even more.
18. Listen to His Body
Guys might be shy when it comes to letting you know what they want and don’t want. If he’s hurting while you’re straddling him, doesn’t like biting or pain foreplay, or anything else, pay attention to his feelings.
Asking guys what they want, what they like, and what they don’t like will make them want to come back for sex that is comfortable and enjoyable for them.
19. Be Mindful of Your Feelings
If you’re suddenly catching feelings for your hookup, be honest with yourself and him.
Although you can’t run away from your feelings, you also can’t pretend that being stuck in a “situationship” is good for you. Pretending will only lead to an awkward hookup, which will keep him at bay.
Who knows, maybe he’s suddenly caught feelings for you too?
20. Be Sexier Than Other Females
Guys love to show their women off. Give him something that keeps the other men jealous, and keeps him wanting to hook up more!
Beat out the competition by asking what he likes, noticing what outfits turn him on and what outfits he considers best. Although you don’t want to make your relationship all about him, dressing the part once in a while doesn’t hurt!
21. Show Him You Care
No one wants to feel like they’re simply being used for sex. Make your hookup feel cared for even in between your sex sessions. Ask about their day, and learn more about them.
More importantly, be friendly during your encounters. Having manners and being kind goes a long way in making your hookup want to chase you for more than sex.
22. Be Better in Bed Every Time
If your hookup has ideas, listen to them! Better yet, keep track of what they like and don’t like.
Include different positions that will have him going wild. Consider how you can spice things up every time, and leave him wanting the next moment with you.
23. End it When the Time is Right
At the end of the day, hooking up can only last for so long. If you feel like your feelings aren’t being met, or the energy just isn’t there anymore, there’s no shame in ending things amicably.
Go on a solo date or enjoy time off to focus on yourself after your hookup ends. Doing so can give you time to settle down and focus on what you really want out of your relationship and your life.
24. Remember to Be Safe
Hookups are great to boost your confidence, explore your sexual side, and explore what you want out of a relationship.
Although you can learn from your hookups and have fun during them, it’s important to always be safe when having casual sex.
Use condoms and birth control, protect your feelings and set boundaries, and learn to listen to what your body and heart want while being the best catch your hookup can have!
