It seems like everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend, wife, husband, or even an evil ex.
It might feel like everyone at some point has, making it intimidating to enter the dating pool if you’ve never dated yourself! The good news is that not everyone has dated another person.
In fact, if you look at people between the ages of 18 to 34, 51% of them say that they don’t have a steady partner, meaning most of those younger adults have never dated before (we’re not counting your 6th-grade crush either)!
Even for men that have dated previously, having the title of being a “girlfriend” or “boyfriend” might not mean much.
In fact, a recent study showed that 1 in 5 men say they’ve never been in love despite having been in past relationships.
So even if a man has dated before, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it was serious or that the guy was in love with his ex partner.
This puts you in a good position to start exploring relationships with men who have either never been in a relationship or weren’t fulfilled by their previous relationships.
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Why don’t men get into relationships?
If you’re someone who is used to dating and jumping from relationship to relationship, it might seem like a no-brainer to be in a relationship, even at a young age.
However, for some men being in a relationship might be incredibly tough due to a number of factors, including:
- Lack of funds
- Lack of time
- Devoting energy to school or work
- Societal expectations
- Sexual or religious preferences
- Cultural differences
Many men prefer to stay single simply because the above factors can make being in a serious relationship too tiring.
In fact, a recent survey done by Men’s Health showed that the third most common reason why a man is single is due to lack of effort on their part, and the fourth reason was simply because they didn’t want to be in one.
Although this survey shows that for some men being single is an important choice, it’s important to remember that not all men prefer to be single.
Some simply don’t have the skills to pick up women or might be too shy.
In fact, the same Men’s Health survey also showed that men might not feel confident to start dating due to their looks, height, weight, hair – you name it!
How do I date someone who’s never had a girlfriend?
Like women, men also have issues when it comes to confidence and lack of self-esteem where relationships are concerned.
This is, unfortunately, an even bigger issue for men that have never had a girlfriend.
How can you, as a woman, begin to date someone that has never had a girlfriend and might have confidence issues?
There are several ways, but it’s important to cover one thing first and foremost – remind your love interest that looks don’t matter!
Although it might seem like a half-hearted compliment or bluff, it’s true that most women don’t really care about the looks of a man if there is no personality attached to it.
Women do, however, care about other factors besides looks, including:
- Honesty
- Trustworthiness
- Loyalty
- Respect
- Gentleness
- Intelligence
- Humor
- Self-respect
- Maturity
Remind your new love interest that these are the factors that make him stand out among the rest, and that this is why you’re interested in dating him, not his looks (although those aren’t bad either)!
In addition, there are several ways you can help build a man’s confidence so he feels comfortable enough to start a relationship with you. These include:
- Date nights. Most men might not know what a proper date is, especially if they haven’t taken a woman out. Date nights can be simple and affordable and give you and your man a chance to spend quality time together. Until your man gets the hang of it, help him out on fun date ideas that can help build up his confidence.
- Compliments. There are loads of opportunities for you to compliment your new partner. If you two work together, compliment him on his everyday work assignments, his business attire, even the way he smells that day! Or, compliment his cooking or his hobbies. These compliments might not seem like much, but they go a long way in helping your new boyfriend feel his best and be more secure in a relationship.
- Listen to him. Most men will not have dated before due to personal choice. However, for those who have struggled with low confidence, this might also mean they have had struggles with rejection or trauma. If you want to get involved in a relationship with someone who’s never been in one, it’s important to openly communicate with them and assure them that you’re there to listen. This will not only boost confidence in your man but will make the relationship stronger.
- Suggest working out together. It’s a proven fact that couples who work out together tend to have higher satisfaction rates in their relationship than those who don’t. As we mentioned earlier, men might have had issues with their weight or looks prior to being in a relationship with you, and this might be difficult to get rid of. Fortunately, you can help your man shake off his confidence issues by volunteering to go to the gym with him. Let your man know you’re supportive of him and his health journey and have fun maintaining your health together.
- Patience. Dating a man who’s never had a relationship will be a learning experience for both of you. Your partner might be aware that there are certain things he has never experienced, such as devoting extra time, energy, and attention out of his day to you. However, knowing you have to do these things is much different than actually doing them, so be patient with your partner who’s learning the ins and outs of dating. Assure your partner that you’re in it for the long run and be clear in your desires through appropriate communication. Let them know what you like, what you don’t like, what’s important in a relationship and what isn’t. You’ll be happy you did!
How does intimacy work?
Having patience, open communication, and complimenting your partner are all important aspects to any healthy relationship.
Although you might be dating someone who’s never dated before, this might not necessarily mean they haven’t had sex.
Men might have had sex quite often but never settled down in a serious relationship and instead relied on casual hookups to meet their physical needs.
This is completely ok and isn’t necessarily a deal breaker.
However, the elephant in the room when dating someone who has never had a girlfriend – and maybe your biggest hurdle – is the possibility that they have no prior sexual experience.
In fact, the average number of men aged 20–24 who haven’t had sex before is 14.3%!
That’s quite a large number all things considered. So, how do you date someone who’s never had sex before?
It’s important to consider, first and foremost, why your partner has never had sex.
Religious reasons
If your partner is waiting for marriage to have sex, there is nothing you can do to change this.
In fact, it would be disrespectful and somewhat manipulative to force your partner to have sex if they are not willing to before marriage.
If your partner doesn’t want to have sex for religious reasons, ask yourself if this will be a commitment you want to keep.
If it is, consider other forms of intimacy you can engage in, such as cuddling, spooning, extra hugs, and holding hands.
At the end of the day, it’s all about compromise when it comes to religious reasons.
Asexuality
Around 260,000 people in America label themselves as asexual, meaning they have no sexual attraction to others.
Although this might seem other-worldly, asexuality is a recognized sexual orientation that you have to respect when it comes to dating a partner who identifies this way.
Your partner might have avoided entering the dating pool due to their orientation, so it’s important for you to remain respectful and understanding of their asexuality.
If your partner is asexual, perhaps there are other forms of intimacy they enjoy.
It all comes down to talking about it with them and seeing what they enjoy, like, and dislike.
Lack of experience
Having sex is perhaps the last phase of a range of intimacy during dating.
Holding hands, hugging, cuddling, kissing, oral sex, and finally sexual intercourse, all tend to naturally progress one after the other.
Consider what experience your partner has, and if they haven’t had sex, it’s time to give them the boost of confidence they need to reach that final stage of intimacy!
You can start off by touching, sensual foreplay, food play, even watching adult films to get your partner started.
Whatever you choose to do, make sure your partner is comfortable and feels safe the entire time.
Consent goes always goes both ways and you truly want to make your partner’s first time special.
Other ideas you can use to help ease your man into sex if he’s never experienced it before include:
- Practice relaxation techniques
- Unwind using aromatherapy
- Don’t forget about hugging and kissing
- Start off slow with cuddling and touching and move up from there
- Consider therapy if your partner feels it is necessary
- Have your partner visit a doctor if their sexual issues are due to medical reasons
Have fun being the first
It’s incredibly important to have fun, have mutual respect, and to continue to be patient if you’re dating a man who has never had a girlfriend before.
From fun dates to sensual nights, dating someone who’s never had a girlfriend can be a rewarding experience.
