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How to Respond to a Hurtful Text

  • Sophia Harris
  • May 4, 2022
How to Respond to a Hurtful Text
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How you respond to a hurtful text largely depends on who sent it. However, in general, it is best to respond in a dignified manner.

Do not give the sender of the mean text the satisfaction of knowing they really upset you.

Instead of sending them a hurtful text back, send them a diplomatic response.

Table of Contents

  • What if someone you don’t know well sent the text?
  • What if a casual friend sent the text?
  • What if a relative sent the text?
  • What if your life partner sent the text?
  • Give yourself a cooling-off period
  • Plan how you are going to respond
  • Do you have to respond at all?
  • Avoid sending a reply purely out of vengeance
  • What if the text message makes you angry?
  • Beware of legal action that could be taken against you
  • You can always break off your relationship with mean people
  • You can cut them off, don’t speak to them anymore
  • Reply with the kindest message you can think of
  • You can always change your phone number
  • Have an honest conversation with the sender
  • What if the mean text came from a salesperson?
  • What if that does not stop them?

What if someone you don’t know well sent the text?

Perhaps this is someone you met once or twice. You thought you were going to be friends, but it didn’t work out that way.

Now this person is sending you hurtful texts. In this instance, there is not really a need to respond. Just ignore this person.

What if a casual friend sent the text?

What if a casual friend sent the text

You can reply by asking them why they feel the need to hurt you. Is this action called for and what was the point of them sending it?

Even if their text bothers you, avoid letting them know that they hurt you.

What if a relative sent the text?

Ask them why they are doing this to you. What have you done to them in order to receive this kind of treatment?

Let them know that you don’t have to put up with that just because they are related to you.

Explain to them that if the behavior continues, you will refrain from speaking to them anymore.

What if your life partner sent the text?

What if your life partner sent the text

You would respond in much of the same way as you would with your relatives. In their case, it is okay to let them know they have hurt you.

Give them a chance to explain themselves and make things right with you.

Tell them that if you mean anything at all to them, they really need to stop sending hurtful texts to you.

Give yourself a cooling-off period

When you receive a mean text, your emotions run rampant. This is not the time for a response. Give yourself time to cool off.

Re-read the text in case you have interpreted it the wrong way. When you do reply, it should be in a calm and dignified manner.

Plan how you are going to respond

Plan how you are going to respond

Instead of saying the first few things that come to your mind, plan out what you are going to tell them.

Perhaps read your reply to yourself during the preparation period. Determine if it is an appropriate response or one written in sheer retaliation.

Do you have to respond at all?

This is another aspect of it that depends on who sent it. If it was from somebody close to you, follow the steps we laid out previously.

If it came from an acquaintance whom you don’t know, well, you do not have to respond. Sometimes the best response to a mean text is no response.

That will do more to irritate them than sending an angry message back.

Avoid sending a reply purely out of vengeance

Avoid sending a reply purely out of vengeance

If the only reason you are sending a reply at all is to hurt them back, stop and think about this. Do you really want to stoop to their level?

Thinking of the meanest response imaginable to send to them is actually counterproductive.

It can only result in a war of words via text message. Maybe the best thing to do is ignore it.

What if the text message makes you angry?

Again, we harken back to the cooling-off period. If this message was sent in a confrontational manner, your angry reply is precisely what they want.

You can either not pay attention to it at all or respond with an unusually kind message. That will floor them more than pure retaliation.

Beware of legal action that could be taken against you

Beware of legal action that could be taken against you

Today we live in a litigious society. So many people are legally suing other people.

If you were to send a hurtful message back to the recipient and something tragic happens to them, you could find yourself at the heart of a lawsuit.

Think this is ridiculous? You would be amazed at how a crafty lawyer can win cases for his or her client based on angry text messages. Watch the news and see for yourself.

You can always break off your relationship with mean people

If there is somebody that repeatedly sends hurtful text messages to you, break off the relationship with them.

This may be more difficult if it is a relative, but it’s not impossible. There are technical ways to block such people. Then their messages will not even reach you.

You can cut them off, don’t speak to them anymore

You can cut them off, don't speak to them anymore

Again, it is an option for you to delete these people from your list of contacts. Then you can also block their messages.

If the conflict is with a family member, you can still do this.

There are people out there who will block their own mother if that mother continues to send hurtful texts. It CAN be done!

Reply with the kindest message you can think of

What will this accomplish? A lot if their entire plan was to hurt you. Your message will be nice and friendly, not at all what they are expecting in return.

You will make them feel guilty and foolish for being mean to you.

If they have a conscience at all, they will immediately send a message of apology to you. If they do not, cease all contact with them.

You can always change your phone number

You can always change your phone number

Let’s say your hurtful messages are coming from an angry ex-spouse. You have tried every method known to man to get them to stop, but they don’t.

Change your phone number. Sure, it will be inconvenient, but it will solve the problem. Odds are good you get many spam phone calls anyhow.

Only give your new number to folks you are close to.

Have an honest conversation with the sender

This is particularly relevant if the text message came from a close relation. You want to have an in-person or over-the-phone conversation about it with them.

You want to know why they are sending mean messages to you. Maybe you have accidentally hurt their feelings. You need to know this in order to make things right.

What if the mean text came from a salesperson?

What if the mean text came from a salesperson

This can happen too, people! Let’s say you were texting back and forth with someone who was performing services for you. Then they fail to do a good job.

So, you cut off contact with them, but now they are sending angry texts.

Make sure you have all their relevant company details and records of your chats.

Then report them to the Better Business Bureau or leave bad reviews on an anonymous basis. Nobody should be running a business in this manner.

What if that does not stop them?

If you feel at all threatened by this person, then follow the advice we just gave you. However, instead of contacting the BBB, contact the police or federal authorities.

Nobody is allowed to harass you even if it is in the form of text messages. There are measures you can take to protect yourself, including a change of phone number.

If this person also knows where you live, it may be prudent to get a lawyer, go to court, and get a legal order of protection.

There is a huge difference between rude text messages and life-threatening ones.

Make certain you know the difference and do what you have to in order to protect yourself.

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