The first time that a girl is called desperate can be a very confusing moment. Naturally, the word desperate has a negative connotation.
While you could be desperate to get a good grade or talk your parents into allowing you to attend a late-night concert that’s supposed to be totally lit, the word “determined” would sound much better.
And when a guy calls you desperate, you are probably left with a million questions that you would never have the courage to ask. Desperate for what?
If you really like the guy, you may want to fix this negative characteristic, but it’s not nearly as easy as touching up your makeup – especially if you don’t know what he means.
When a guy calls you desperate, it means that you are insecure and overly anxious to obtain something that you want badly.
Desperate girls usually seek attention and approval from others and are willing to settle for any relationship. Basically, he views you as being emotionally needy.
Don’t take it personally when a guy calls you desperate. It may very well mean that he’s a total jerk and that there’s actually not anything wrong with you.
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Why would a guy call you desperate?
Obviously, he’s not into you, girl! Some guys are just self-righteous jerks. Maybe he’s one of those jocks who has a smoking hot body and is the star of the football team.
While you are still awesome in your own way, you aren’t a stuck-up princess.
So, he may call you desperate as a put-down the second he notices you looking at him with a starry gaze.
Basically, he’s saying that you can’t get a date. And you probably can land a date easily. But not with him (nor would you want to!).
He may be narcissistic enough to view himself as out of your league. But there are other reasons why you may be called desperate…
You’re overly flirtatious
Hey, a girl is supposed to go after what she wants in life and refuse to take no for an answer, right?
After all, in the 21st century, it’s perfectly acceptable for a chick to take the initiative and be the one to ask the guy out.
But some macho guys are offended when a girl is too forward.
Sure, you can weasel your way into sitting at your crush’s lunch table or “accidentally” drop your textbooks at his feet.
You can even discreetly pass him love notes in the middle of science class. These tactics have worked for girls for the past century.
And now, you can even be brazen enough to ask a guy out.
No, this doesn’t really mean that you are desperate. Maybe the guy was just raised to believe that he should be the one to make the first move.
Or maybe he just doesn’t like you back and can’t come up with another reason why he wouldn’t want someone as awesome as you are.
You’re dating a guy he doesn’t like
See, this is where being called desperate can get really confusing.
A guy may also call you desperate if you’re already taken and he wishes that he was lucky enough to be in your arms.
Of course, this means that he doesn’t approve of your boyfriend.
Sure, you could be dating a nerd with freckles and goofy-looking glasses because he has a great personality, and you know he’s going to be the next Bill Gates.
But you could also be dating a smoking hot stud. Or even his best friend. Even so, you aren’t dating him, so you must be desperate to settle for anyone else.
You try too hard to fit in
Sometimes, you may truly be insecure. If a guy notices that you are steadily changing your hairstyle, clothing, and music to fit in with the popular crowd, he may call you desperate.
While desperate may not be the right word, it is often used to describe someone who is insecure and attention-seeking.
For instance, if you have a reputation for sleeping with guys on the first date or are caught vaping to fit in with the cool crowd, then you should expect to be called desperate at least once.
You strive hard to succeed
Now, desperation isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Maybe the guy has seen you constantly studying at the library, obviously desperate to get a good grade and win the approval of your parents and teachers – and a good college.
You may have blown him off and told him that you had to pass, or your dad would kill you.
He simply noticed that you were desperate for approval and that your desperation prevented him from landing a date with you. Basically, your rejection crushed his ego.
What to do if a guy calls you desperate
Obviously, you shouldn’t even want to date a guy who calls you desperate – or any name for that matter.
But don’t take the comment too personally or even try to overthink it. Sure, it’s hard.
Every girl has been known to analyze every look or comment that she receives from a guy.
But if you can’t resist asking every one of your friends what the guy could’ve possibly meant, consider the context of this rude comment before you decide how to respond.
Roll your eyes and walk away
Sometimes the best response is none at all. After saying something like that, the guy really doesn’t deserve your attention.
If you run away crying or he overhears you rehashing your comment to your friends, it will only confirm how insecure you truly are and that he can bully you and get a reaction.
Reply with a sarcastic comment
If you have been trying to land a date with the guy by creatively getting his attention or brazenly asking him out, and he responds by calling you desperate, the best retort would be to say that you must have been desperate to have wanted to go out with a jerk like him.
Now, if you have a strong drive to succeed and are called desperate because you put in long hours at the library or gym, then you should reply that you are desperate to succeed and maybe if he took a cue from you, he wouldn’t end up flipping burgers!
Reflect on your confidence level
Maybe the reason that being called desperate affected you so strongly is that it’s true.
Deep down, you may know how badly you want to fit in and for people to like you. Instead of being accepted, you were called desperate. And that hurts.
Make a list of your strengths and positive attributes and read it daily. It may even help to say positive affirmations in the mirror every evening.
Identify your interests and find a group of friends who share your passion.
Don’t take it personally
So what if a guy thinks you’re desperate? There are plenty of other fish in the sea! After you leave high school or college, you’ll probably never see him again.
And you’ll eventually find an awesome guy who values you and appreciates your strengths.
Even if you truly are desperate, he helped you recognize your insecurities and become a stronger woman.
And if he had the nerve to call you desperate after you asked him out, don’t let that stop you from making the first move in the future. Who knows?
You could end up marrying the next guy you ask out!
