Love is a really complicated thing.
Falling in love, staying in love, falling out of love, every aspect of it can have powerful emotions attached, both positive and negative.
This is especially true for younger people who are experiencing romantic love for the first time.
When this happens, they may find themselves falling in love with the wrong people or overlooking the right ones. But what does it mean to be a girl falling in love with a guy for the first time?
Now, this question can be answered in many ways.
For example, it is not at all uncommon to see someone confess their feelings for their first love right away, and they may even be lucky enough that the person is receptive to their emotions.
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What if this guy loves you back?
Hearing that your first love is a reciprocated one is a magical moment. It relieves a ton of anxiety, no longer having to worry about whether they love you back.
Honestly, it can even make you not sure what to do next, not having even considered the possibility that he would be receptive to your feelings.
Before anything else, try to figure out what you both want out of a relationship.
One of the most common ways a relationship ends up a failure is that two people go into it without thinking about it.
One person may be going into a relationship primarily for physical desires, while another may be seeking out something more intimate, romantic, and long-term.
Of course, being in your first relationship does not necessarily mean that it’s going to be the most ideal manifestation of the relationship, so don’t fret too much about whether it goes well or not.
Mind you, this does not mean you should ignore red flags, but figuring the relationship out as you two go along is a perfectly valid strategy to take on.
What does it mean if you’re not his first love?
You are inevitably going to fall in love with someone who has fallen in love with someone else before, or even dated someone; it happens all the time.
As such, you should not take this personally at all, as it does not (or should not) have anything to do with the quality of the relationship you have with him.
Yet, a lot of these anxieties are illogical, and you can’t use a logical reason to defeat them. Instead, you have to give that anxiety the time of day.
Why does it make you anxious that he loved someone before you?
That’s an important question to ask yourself, as it can help you better understand why you feel the way you do, as well as how you can go about dealing with that anxiety.
One worry that often comes up, no matter how long your relationship has gone on, are anxieties as they relate to your boyfriend’s faithfulness.
What is it that made them break up? Was it an amicable break?
Another common concern people have is being compared to the previous relationship.
For example, perhaps your boyfriend had a great relationship until he was broken up with and you are left wondering whether he is still pining for someone he used to love so much.
The important thing to remember is communication; if he does not know how you feel, and why you feel that way, the problem can never be resolved.
What is the honeymoon period?
While the honeymoon period refers to a marriage, the phrase fits for pretty much any romantic relationship and describes the period at the beginning where the people in it are at their happiest.
They have yet to see the sides of their partner that would one day cause them annoyance, frustration, or any number of other negative emotions.
You may even look back on this period with rose-tinted glasses, where all you can think about is how good your first moments with your partner were.
While the honeymoon period is a lovely thing, it’s important to know that a relationship cannot last on euphoria alone.
Knowing that the mundane will become more common over time will help deal with the shock of no longer having that early euphoria, at least not on a consistent basis.
This is why romances have grand romantic gestures to try to revitalize the relationship.
While it’s good to do things to remind your partner that you love them, it’s also important to not let this be an occasional thing.
Whatever your love language may be, be sure to communicate it to them often and clearly.
This is the best way for both you and your partner to feel safe and secure in your relationship.
How do I get over my first love?
No matter how much you and your boyfriend are in love with each other, that does not mean that something cannot happen to cause you two to fall out of love down the line.
No matter if it was a messy breakup or an amicable one, it makes sense that you will be feeling some kind of way about ending what you had.
For a lot of people, this grief does not last too long, but for some, it seems like there is nothing they can do to shake it.
In the early days of the breakup, it may seem like breaking up with your first love is the only thing on your mind – and this makes perfect sense.
There are a lot of emotions that go into a relationship, and now that you no longer have an outlet for them, you have to take time to get over their absence.
Spend time with friends and family, do what you can to take your mind off of him, and you will move on in time.
While that strategy is an effective one for a lot of heartbroken women out there, that does not mean that it is a universally effective one.
Some people struggle to get over a past partner for a long time, especially if they were not the person to initiate the breakup in the first place.
Getting over this kind of relationship grief is easier said than done for most, but it is something that can be done.
What to do if I still think about my first love after all these years
If he is still on your mind and you have not been successful in shaking thoughts of him, there are options at your disposal.
One option some take is to go to therapy, which certainly has worked for a lot of people.
The therapy route may help you figure out why it’s so hard to move on from your boyfriend, as well as help you figure out ways you can begin to move on further once they have identified the issues at play.
Something you may be grappling with is feeling like you did something wrong, that you were the cause of the relationship’s downfall (or at least partially at fault).
People tend to let themselves be consumed by guilt for even the smallest thing, let alone potentially hurting someone they love.
For this, you either have to come to terms with what you did and forgive yourself or figure out whether you actually did something wrong or not.
One issue many people face when they are trying to move on is constant reminders, which can range from things that remind you of him to even seeing him around in person or on social media.
This is especially common with a first love, and that’s ok. Just take the time you need to get a healthy place where these reminders don’t hurt as much as they remind you of an important time in your life.
